norajane Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 I'm so sad. I'm alone and sad, again. I want to call him back and tell him off... but it's just the situation. No, sweets. He needs to come to his own realization that he behaved like a jackass to you, and call and apologize. If he doesn't figure that on his own, then I have to agree with Johan.
Trialbyfire Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 SG, he may call back to apologize, he might not. It doesn't appear to be his style though. Having said that, I also wouldn't give up on him so quickly. Sleep on it. Take him to task tomorrow. Don't roll-over this time. You know you've got the strength to do it, SG.
Author Star Gazer Posted December 29, 2007 Author Posted December 29, 2007 He called and is on the phone now...
oppath Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 This is more gripping than the season finale of American Idol. I cast my vote for you SG. Hope this works out.
Citizen Erased Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 This is more gripping than the season finale of American Idol. I cast my vote for you SG. Hope this works out. American Idol? Really?
Author Star Gazer Posted December 29, 2007 Author Posted December 29, 2007 Oppath gets the play-by-play away from LS. He loves it. (JK!) BF called, sounded calm and had his "regretful voice" while explaining why he got off the phone so quickly earlier, but didn't actually apologize. His buddy is right next to him, so who knows if he's being a lame macho man. He has to finish up some chores and then is going to call me back in about 15 minutes. Hopefully I'll get something more empathetic then....damnit, I better! Thing is, there are times when he's freakin' awesome (and honestly, they greatly outnumber these teary times - I must have an imbalance, I swear!), and then there are times when he doesn't realize that he's hurt my feelings. Sometimes it's because I'm oversensitive, sometimes it's because he's clueless, sometimes it's a combination of the two. When he's clueless, I wait until the emotional time has passed to fill him in. He's always very apologetic and understanding (never defensive or trying to justify), and doesn't repeat the particular behavior or explains to me why I shouldn't interpret it the way I do. And when I say "particular behavior," most of you would call me a g'damn princess for what I point out to him. I've been kissing his a$$ a lot lately. I think I've created a monster.
Ariadne Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 he yells: "Ffffffffffuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkk!!" and tells me that they mounted the wrong bindings on the wrong skis (they're brand new) and says in a snappy voice, "I'm gonna have to call you back" and virtually hangs up on me. Ok, This guy is not for you Star. I know he's cute and everything, but I don't see a match made in heaven. He needs to grow up. Good thing you are going out with a friend tomorrow and be distracted from it all. And that job of yours sucks. I'd tell them firmly, no, I have other plans. (maybe they want you to quit and are giving you a hard time) Ariadne
Trialbyfire Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Little monsters are sent to bed without dessert...
Author Star Gazer Posted December 29, 2007 Author Posted December 29, 2007 Little monsters are sent to bed without dessert... He's clearly not getting any dessert tonight, or tomorrow, or the night after that. But I kinda wanted some.
Trialbyfire Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 He's clearly not getting any dessert tonight, or tomorrow, or the night after that. But I kinda wanted some. One night is enough for a bad boy and a bad girl who doesn't assert herself and creates a spoiled brat. Now, when he calls back, get what you need from him. Hopefully his buddy is gone by then so he has no more excuses.
oppath Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Oppath gets the play-by-play away from LS. He loves it. (JK!) And I make Chris Berman "whooopppp" noises when it comes across the ticker.
Storyrider Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Little monsters are sent to bed without dessert... Exactly! He is like a little boy throwing his toys, and he's hitting you in the head with them.
Author Star Gazer Posted December 29, 2007 Author Posted December 29, 2007 And I make Chris Berman "whooopppp" noises when it comes across the ticker. Where's your bikini and "Round 2" sign??
Krytie TV Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 I think that the way in which people handle stress in their lives is very telling as to their true personality. Since stress can cause people to act instinctively, and without social filters, it tends to shed light on their inner person. The way your bf responds to sress is a bit concerning to me. Life is filled with stress and unpleasant situations, and someone who is unable to handle it with control and grace sets themself up for an unhappy life. I know you don't feel that this incident is anyting more than him being in a bad mood, and that may be true. Is this how he will always handle stress? How does that make you feel?
Ariadne Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Well, Life is filled with stress and unpleasant situations, and someone who is unable to handle it with control and grace sets themself up for an unhappy life. I'd be concerned that he'd become violent. Say, braking things, punching stuff, maybe even escalate to physical violence.
Lishy Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 I vote that this relationship wont be lastin too long! One day Star will meet her moon! This guy is not her moon!
Trialbyfire Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Hey SG, how's today going? Hope you're having a good time! Remember, clear boundaries. He sounds like a handful and a strong personality so you have push him back when he steps past your boundaries.
Lishy Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 He sounds to me like a spoilt childish brat! Star feels how she does about it because it is how he makes her feel! I hate men! lol
Trialbyfire Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 How a person feels, is how a person perceives treatment given. If someone is being insensitive, you have to push back. On the other hand, it's a fine balance between being too sensitive, aka reading between the lines when there was no intent, and seeing real issues that need to be resolved. SG needs to figure out the difference and when to act externally by asserting her boundaries and when to act internally and quash her own issues.
BlueEyedSarah Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 But how am I supposed to deal when he's grouchy? Let him cool he's hot headed temper down. Don't give him the sympathy because he will carry on being frustrated with/around you. Just go do something else if you are in a house/room together when he is frustrated.
Author Star Gazer Posted December 29, 2007 Author Posted December 29, 2007 Didn't make it up the mountain today. My friend canceled on me, and BF was going up separately with his friend, so I decided to go take my lesson alone...figured it would be good for me. However, apparently I had the wrong chains for my tires, so CHP turned me around and sent me back home. Seriously guys, this is a bad week for me. It's probably a good thing I'm not skiing though...boss made it very clear that he expects me to work this entire weekend, so guess where I am right now...? How a person feels, is how a person perceives treatment given. If someone is being insensitive, you have to push back. On the other hand, it's a fine balance between being too sensitive, aka reading between the lines when there was no intent, and seeing real issues that need to be resolved. SG needs to figure out the difference and when to act externally by asserting her boundaries and when to act internally and quash her own issues. That's honestly my problem - I don't know the difference...
Trialbyfire Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Didn't make it up the mountain today. My friend canceled on me, and BF was going up separately with his friend, so I decided to go take my lesson alone...figured it would be good for me. However, apparently I had the wrong chains for my tires, so CHP turned me around and sent me back home. Seriously guys, this is a bad week for me. It's probably a good thing I'm not skiing though...boss made it very clear that he expects me to work this entire weekend, so guess where I am right now...? You are having a bad time lately. ((hugs)) That's honestly my problem - I don't know the difference... Part of this is getting to know someone well enough to feel secure in the relationship. Give it time. Also, when you feel that anxiety coming on, walk away and think about where it's really coming from. You have an analytical and logical mind. Step back to the point where you're almost a third party in the interaction, breath deeply, then take it apart.
Art_Critic Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Also, when you feel that anxiety coming on, walk away and think about where it's really coming from. You have an analytical and logical mind. Step back to the point where you're almost a third party in the interaction, breath deeply, then take it apart. Key points here.. Good post...
allina Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 I'm stunned that all these people are telling you to relax and just go with the flow in this situation. Your bf is being a total dick! You two had set plans and when he informs you that he will be late asking if this means 30 minutes or 3 hours is very acceptable. He was rude and VERY inconsiderate. He had no right to snap at you, he should have said "Hi Star all this stuff came up, I will be at least two hours late, I will update you as soon as I know more." Then after you let this go and try to brighten up the situation he's a total dick to you again over some skis?! Seriously, now he's being "moody" because the skis weren't mounted correctly? IMO you're being so darling and understanding here and he's just walking all over you. I don't care if he calls back and the tone of his voice sounds apologetic. I really hope that you inform him that his bitchy hissy fits and basically hanging up on you will not be tolerated.
Author Star Gazer Posted December 29, 2007 Author Posted December 29, 2007 He did apologize when he called back. I think I just need to ride out this storm and process how I'm feeling about all of this.
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