Author Star Gazer Posted January 2, 2008 Author Posted January 2, 2008 (edited) Nevermind. Edited January 2, 2008 by Star Gazer
Touche Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 I've been in this super-understanding mode from the get-go. If I were in his shoes, I'd expect the same understanding, really. Okay, no more sleeping together. Good for you! And no super duper passionate kisses...just pecks.
oppath Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Star is SUPER DUPER. Can we expect anything less?
Trialbyfire Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Good for you! And no super duper passionate kisses...just pecks. Oooo...just had a thought. How about some super duper hot phone calls, then...in person...nothing. Eeks, sorry SG, my evil side tends to dominate situations of this nature.
Krytie TV Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Star, it sounds to me like you've officially cashed in every last ounce of dignity in this matter. It's very sad to watch.
latefragment Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 How so? Do you think SG should not have sent the letter? Or what else... ?
Cobra_X30 Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Can anyone help me understand or deal with this? Any chance you could swap BF's with Kamille?
Author Star Gazer Posted January 2, 2008 Author Posted January 2, 2008 Star, it sounds to me like you've officially cashed in every last ounce of dignity in this matter. It's very sad to watch. Thanks. Duly noted.
Kamille Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Any chance you could swap BF's with Kamille? ROFL. He does like skiing. He smokes though. But he's a marvelous cook and fantastic in the sac. Brilliant, very funny and very considerate. Has no problems letting someone into his life. Wait, I think I'll keep him...
Cobra_X30 Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Thanks. Duly noted. Well, it's not true! When you fight and claw and do everything within your power to be understanding and loving of another person... that isnt giving up your dignity. Giving up your dignity is when someone gives you everything... space included... and your not a good enough person to return that. It isn't about winning and losing... it's about who you are at the end of the day. In my opinion, You can hold your head high!
underpants Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Well, it's not true! When you fight and claw and do everything within your power to be understanding and loving of another person... that isnt giving up your dignity. Giving up your dignity is when someone gives you everything... space included... and your not a good enough person to return that. It isn't about winning and losing... it's about who you are at the end of the day. In my opinion, You can hold your head high! Word !.......
Author Star Gazer Posted January 3, 2008 Author Posted January 3, 2008 Unders, thanks for your PM and your post earlier. I've been processing both. Thank you for your support, I really appreciate it.
norajane Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 When you fight and claw and do everything within your power to be understanding and loving of another person... that isnt giving up your dignity. Ok, but what DO you call it if you continue being so loving and the other person takes it all while at the same time telling you he has no romantic feelings for you...? I call it THE END. He doesn't want the romantic involvement part, but he still wants the fun and sex and affection, and he'll take that as long as Star is willing to give it to him no strings attached. It's up to Star what she wants to do, and what she thinks will be easiest for her to deal with. IMO, I think it would be far too bittersweet to keep seeing him - how do you get the thought out of your mind that he wants you, but only to a certain degree, certainly not the emotions part? It sort of spoils the whole thing, because it requires Star to try to control her feelings when around him rather than letting them bloom into love...wasn't that the whole point of dating this guy...that it could become a love connection? Take the potential for real, lasting love away, and what do you have left?
Ariadne Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Will I continue to see him for at least these next two weeks? To the disappointment of all of you, most likely yes. Not mine! Oh no. I think that's wonderful! Enjoy him and enjoy him good. He is into you, if he were indiferent is another story. Go for it Star. :love: Good luck, Ariadne
Florida Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Star, I find it poignant that you have a fear of abandonment, starting from childhood, and you fell in love with a guy who told you early on he may be going away forever. In essence, you subjected yourself to your worst possible fear. I think everyone does that once in their life, some do it over and over until they are no longer so fearful of the very thing they know and fear most intimately. So, in closing, I think for him to miss you the next 2 weeks you need to pull back really really far. Who cares if he misses you once he is gone and it is too late? Make him feel it now.....you aren't giving him a chance to miss you, and I worry he will just walk away, and the self prophecy of abondonment realized will come true. The good news is you may not fear it so much because you exposed yourself to it and faced it from beginning to end. I may even infer you sought it out as a spiritual journey?
KenzieAbsolutely Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 no matter what, i wish you well, star gazer. everything happens for a reason, and whether it turns into a fairy tale or all comes crashing down in flames, you're going to be all right. and we'll still be here to cheer you on or build you back up.
johan Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Hang in there, Star. This probably won't help, but I also have no dignity. And I didn't even cash mine in, I just gave it away. You'll be ok. You didn't date this guy for long. There's a better guy out there for you. To be honest, I think you went into this with the wrong mindset. If you can learn a positive lesson from all this, then the next guy could be the one you've been waiting for. He'll make you forget this guy.
Author Star Gazer Posted January 3, 2008 Author Posted January 3, 2008 Hang in there, Star. This probably won't help, but I also have no dignity. And I didn't even cash mine in, I just gave it away. You'll be ok. You didn't date this guy for long. There's a better guy out there for you. To be honest, I think you went into this with the wrong mindset. If you can learn a positive lesson from all this, then the next guy could be the one you've been waiting for. He'll make you forget this guy. Thanks, J. But tell me, what was the mindset I went into this with?
johan Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Thanks, J. But tell me, what was the mindset I went into this with? I could be wrong, but here's what I picked up on. Not long before you met this guy, you were dating others. And you felt frustrated and hurt by the treatment they gave you. You just wanted to meet someone, and you wanted it pretty bad. Then this guy came along, and you fell pretty fast. You felt relieved to have escaped the single life, and I imagine (you can dispute this if you want) you thought maybe this was going to be the one. Because of all that, you weren't emotionally prepared for this guy to tell you that he was going to make life decisions that didn't include you. You were ready to move with him. You put up with his petulance. And you did all that because what you were getting with him still felt better than going back to what you had before. I don't know that, underneath all the pain and disappointment, you could say that you really like this guy all that much. I haven't seen you post anything that made it seem like he was all that wonderful. What I think you should do is learn how not to invest so much in the next guy until you know he's worth it.
Author Star Gazer Posted January 3, 2008 Author Posted January 3, 2008 J, you're probably right on all points. And as a side note, I just found out something that made me sick to my stomach...
Florida Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 I could be wrong, but here's what I picked up on. Not long before you met this guy, you were dating others. And you felt frustrated and hurt by the treatment they gave you. You just wanted to meet someone, and you wanted it pretty bad. Then this guy came along, and you fell pretty fast. You felt relieved to have escaped the single life, and I imagine (you can dispute this if you want) you thought maybe this was going to be the one. Because of all that, you weren't emotionally prepared for this guy to tell you that he was going to make life decisions that didn't include you. You were ready to move with him. You put up with his petulance. And you did all that because what you were getting with him still felt better than going back to what you had before. I don't know that, underneath all the pain and disappointment, you could say that you really like this guy all that much. I haven't seen you post anything that made it seem like he was all that wonderful. What I think you should do is learn how not to invest so much in the next guy until you know he's worth it. Can this be made into the official "welcome to LS" plaque, for everyone to read? Great advice Johan.
johan Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 J, you're probably right on all points. And as a side note, I just found out something that made me sick to my stomach... What?? The yogurt you ate for breakfast was expired? I'm all eyes!
KenzieAbsolutely Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 J, you're probably right on all points. And as a side note, I just found out something that made me sick to my stomach... (i hope you read my last post.) what's the matter?
Author Star Gazer Posted January 3, 2008 Author Posted January 3, 2008 I'd rather not discuss it, but I am just...so much more hurt now than I thought possible.
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