ahah2322 Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 hi all, i have been with my bf for three years. i have noticed that compared to before, he does not seem to put in as much effort while talking to me on the phone (as we do nightly). just tonight, for example, i reminded him about the lunch date he will be having with his friend tomorrow with which he has totally forgotten about and so i asked him to call his friend to confirm it. he said he would call back after he was done. in the meantime, i did my personal chores. he took a really long time and i was ok with him as he may have something that he would like to talk to his friend about. after a little while more, i gave him a call and just casually asked why he was taking such a long time. he said that i had slipped his mind, not callously tho, if i may add. i was really bemused. i don't know.. i wasn't angry or anything but i felt that if he was interested in talking to me, he wouldn't have forgotten. we talk every night and it's become almost second nature (except this december cos i was away in europe for a month) and he's the one always calling. i guess he feels that he is obliged to call in a way. i'm getting the feeling that he's been doing it cos it's almost second nature and not because he yearns to talk to me or hear my voice. i guess i wish he will be excited in talking to me.. does this mean he's bored with me or something? i really get the feeling that this is the case.. we're just not as fresh and as exciting as we used to be. this is in juxtaposition with my neighbour whom ive just gotten to know. he really enjoys talking to me on the phone and this really highlights the problem i face with my bf. are there any ways i can improve things? should i discuss this with him?
Legend Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 No he's not bored. But talking on the phone every day, which to begin with is not something guys want to do, can get tiresome. I mean really, how much could you 2 possibly have to talk about every day? You can tell him he doesn't have to call you every day, or you could try calling him once in a while too. Of course you're not as fresh and exciting as you used to be, you've been together 3 years. Honeymoon phase is way over. I'd stop talking to your neighbor, talking to another guy, it sounds almost as if you're phone-cheating on him...
Author ahah2322 Posted December 28, 2007 Author Posted December 28, 2007 oh no, not phone-cheating. he's just a friend/neighbour and my bf knows about him too. i sure would stay away if he gets overly-friendly. ok, i'll let him know that he doesn't have to call if he doesn't want to. i have never forced him or anything but i guess he has been feeling obliged to. on another note, is it a bad thing if the 'honeymoon phase' is over? won't the relationship go stale or get stuck in a rut?
Legend Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 on another note, is it a bad thing if the 'honeymoon phase' is over? won't the relationship go stale or get stuck in a rut? No this isn't a bad thing. It's natural progression. Now you see how the relationship really is, and decide if it's acceptable to you.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I wouldnt say he is getting bored with the relationship just because he soesnt seems as excited to talk to you every day.. Have you guys tried speaking to each other like every other day.. or just call to see how each other is doing and dkeep it short and sweet?
Walk Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I've been with my bf for 4 years and sometimes we just don't have much to talk about some days. Its not that he's bored with me, or that I'm bored with him, its just that nothing happened that created that interest that day. I do know that the more interested I am in whats going on in his life, or if I have something I'm really excited about going on, then the conversations are more frequent or are longer. But some days, one of us just doesn't feel as energetic about talking as they would've at the beginning of the relationship. On the flip side... when's the last time you really took interest in dreaming up something exciting the both of you can do together? When you two started the relationship I'm sure you were eager to try new things with him, try fun new things (sex) with him, and shared with him how much you wanted to do things with him/for him. Sometimes the longer we've been in a relationship we let that start to slip... then the other persons level of energy toward the relationship slips too. I'll simplify the above. Get wild and creative about sex, and the bf will be extremely interested in contacting you.
Author ahah2322 Posted December 29, 2007 Author Posted December 29, 2007 hey walk, well you see, we have yet to engage in sexual intercourse... oh well... thanks guys for all your advice. i'll talk to him about it soon.
compassion42 Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 You've been together for three years but NO sex? Hmmmm....is that due to a cultural issue? Do you see eachother or is this a long distance relationship?
Author ahah2322 Posted December 29, 2007 Author Posted December 29, 2007 no, no cultural issues standing in the way of sexual intercourse at all. i'm not against pre-marital sex. but you see, i'm only 18 and i don't feel ready for it. i know that he really wants it but i guess i'm gonna have to be ready and feel i'm mature enough to handle the act and whatever consequences that may follow up for sex to happen.
compassion42 Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Oh, I see. You are young and wise to wait. Hope he isn't getting frustrated and that you don't lead him on though. If he generally calls you daily and doesn't mind you telling him what to do(like to call his friend) then I bet he really cares for you a bunch! Good luck, don't do anything until you are ready though.
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