ARDriver01 Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 So, I've been away from my sucubus wife for a month now. I'm putting on some weight and doing the whole online dating thing. I'm having good luck and meeting many interesting people. I can't seem to shake the fact that I've been so wronged though. I feel increasingly angry all day at these two idiots. The guy she's effing has no life, has never worked a day in his life, doesn't drive and lives in a sober living home. He laghed at me when I called him a month ago to hold him accountable for his bad behavior and hung up on me. My wife then called me to defend him and ask why I called him to which I replied with venomous scourning. She hasn't called me since. The fact is this: These two vampires act out in selfishness and hurt people. When they've done their damage, they try to forget about it and they continue being drains on society and ruining other peoples lives with their crys for attention(cutting, drug addiction, hospital overnighters and other BS). They resent those that hold them accountable and become angry without any real privilage to it. I've been through this before and this time I wont be swept under the carpet with the rest of their many skeletons. They taught me to hate, and now I'm going to teach them to fear. I'm going out for coffee with the Other Guys ex-. I found her URL. She's also his baby's momma. I want to test the waters and see if there is any kind of chemistry with her. She's cute and seems interesting. I would love to be the positive strong male figure to his daughter and do the things that he can't/won't do for her, ie.. Disneyland, shopping, parks and teaching. If his ex likes me, with the understanding of who I am, this could be a very profitable situation for both of us. We're meeting up this weekend. I hope things go smooth. I don't like being betrayed, lied to and manipulated. This has gone on too long with these F**ks. They think I'm gone, but storm is coming.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 So you're going to use the ex to get back at these two?
whichwayisup Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I would love to be the positive strong male figure to his daughter and do the things that he can't/won't do for her, ie.. Disneyland, shopping, parks and teaching. I don't like this idea, especially because it's on the expense of their daughter. Not too sure how old she is, but playing "daddy" and showing the OM that YOU are replacing him is really a serious game you're playing. Honestly? Your best revenge is to let go completely and rid of this drama in your life. If you date his ex, become involved, the drama will continue for years to come.
Author ARDriver01 Posted December 28, 2007 Author Posted December 28, 2007 Your best revenge is to let go completely quote] How exactly do you just let go? He laughed at me, the night she first slept with him, she came over to our friends house, got drunk, laughed at me and slapped my accross the face. I didn't know anything was going on at the time. Something needs to happen, the record must be set straight. I absolutely hate these people. My IC isn't working, and I've resorted to Percs at night just to calm down and not be impulsive. At least this vengence is legal. Something isn't right. It doesn't feel right. I know it, and you know what it is? It's them. Getting away with all that they do.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Your best revenge is to let go completely quote] How exactly do you just let go? He laughed at me, the night she first slept with him, she came over to our friends house, got drunk, laughed at me and slapped my accross the face. I didn't know anything was going on at the time. Something needs to happen, the record must be set straight. I absolutely hate these people. My IC isn't working, and I've resorted to Percs at night calm down. Something isn't right. I know it, and you know what it is? It's them. Getting away with all that they do. By using this girl you will be hurting her, confusing and hurting the child, and stooping to their level. You'd be feeding into them, playing their game. YOU HAVE to be the bigger person and walk away. I know it's hard, but they are not worth the effort.
Trialbyfire Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 If you want revenge, keep innocent parties out of it. It wouldn't surprise me if his ex has already been ripped apart by the jerk, so don't compound more hurt and pain onto her and her daughter. Now if you wanted to take apart your cheating wife and her OM, you won't hear a peep from me. Just make sure you don't do anything you will regret later, such as anything illegal. Also, if you're going to do whatever it is, do it with no remorse...own it.
Author ARDriver01 Posted December 28, 2007 Author Posted December 28, 2007 I'm going out for coffee with her. If there is chemistry and she's willing to help out for mutual benefit,ie.. being with a good guy that's responsible, loyal, and great with kids, getting back at her ex for being and idiot, etc... Than I think it's worth a shot. If there is no chemistry btwn us, I'll walk away. I'm not going to pretend and use her if I don't feel anything for her. This is why we're having coffee. To talk this out. Yes. I'm using her initially. But I'm not only doing this out of vengence. She's interesting and hot. I don't see a problem. I'm probably just blinded by the dark side. The child is four. I'm not planning on going to his dads house where he lives and ripping his daughter out of his arms. He doesn't have to see me. I don't think that she'll be affected negatively. Honsestly/hypothetically, (and it's a big hypothetic) if this works, this girl is going to be spoiled. I'm amazing with kids. I know about their past and how it's working with their child. It's not good. He's totally negligent and childish. She trys to be a mom as best as she can. Maybe I'm just twisted, but I don't see any harm coming from this.
Trialbyfire Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 What kind of emotional condition do you think you're in? Do you feel that you're fully capable of having a healthy emotional relationship with anyone, right now? Think beyond your own selfish need for revenge.
Author ARDriver01 Posted December 28, 2007 Author Posted December 28, 2007 What kind of emotional condition do you think you're in? Do you feel that you're fully capable of having a healthy emotional relationship with anyone, right now? Think beyond your own selfish need for revenge. Yes, absolutely. I want to move on with someone else. This probably wont work, but at least he'll know I tried. That may be good enough. My doctor thinks I'm fine for dating. He says that I'm handeling this whole thing pretty well given the horrible details of the two year situation she's put me through. I would love to meet someone stable and mature and fun, honest, loyal, God fearing etc... http://www.plentyoffish.com/member5933381.htm lol! No, I'm good. I'm just really pissed off. REALLY PISSED OFF.
Trialbyfire Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Yes, absolutely. I want to move on with someone else. This probably wont work, but at least he'll know I tried. That may be good enough. My doctor thinks I'm fine for dating. He says that I'm handeling this whole thing pretty well given the horrible details of the two year situation she's put me through. I would love to meet someone stable and mature and fun, honest, loyal, God fearing etc... http://www.plentyoffish.com/member5933381.htm lol! No, I'm good. I'm just really pissed off. REALLY PISSED OFF. Ardriver, I've been where you are now. No matter how strong you believe yourself to be, you're still deeply hurting, which is where the anger is coming from. Don't rebound. Take your time, date lightly, don't get involved yet. Get your head/heart and soul/spirit in one place before getting into a relationship. I'm dead serious about this because you may find yourself into a codependency again.
Ariadne Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I'm going out for coffee with the Other Guys ex... She's cute and seems interesting. I would love to be the positive strong male figure to his daughter.. LOL (For a moment I thought you were going to kill them or something) Ariadne
Mr. Lucky Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Yes. I'm using her initially. But I'm not only doing this out of vengence. She's interesting and hot. I don't see a problem. I'm probably just blinded by the dark side. So your goal is to be just like your Ex-W and her BF? Deceptive, manipulative, devious, weak, vindictive and sneaky? And this is part of your recovery ? Your best "revenge" would be to live a happy, purpose-filled, meaningful life with your Ex clearly in your rear view mirror. Any time wasted thinking abour her and whatever she might be doing (and who she might be doing it with) costs only you. How much more are you willing to throw away? Mr. Lucky
Kasan Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 AR-- I have been following your situation since the beginning. I understand your anger and frustration at your wife, however, I feel what you are potentially thinking about doing is very destructive. Your wife is with a drug addict, and has numerous problems of her own to deal with as you have documented all over these boards. She is who she is, would you take her back if you could? Your marriage had lots of problems for sure, and yes, you contributed to some of the problems. Wouldn't you be better served right now to disentangle yourself from your marriage and figure out what your contribution to this failed marriage was?
underpants Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I'm sorry that you got burned. However, this...plan is not a good one in the long term. You have not even met with her and have an idea of what you would like to happen and how wonderful it would make you feel to get something good out of a negative. Your initial train of thought is in the negative. That passion for revenge will leave a bad taste in your mouth once the satisfaction is swallowed. ...and yes, if you are kind to that little girl she will become dependent on you and maybe a little disappointed later if you should have your fill. One month away from such a betrayl is not nearly long enough. You are still in a place reeling in hurt and your solutions seem short sighted. Now, meeting this woman and having an honest conversation might help you two heal a little. As long as you keep it on a friend level it might be a good thing. Heck, if she is up for it then yea, rub your new friendship in your mutual ex's faces. However, I would just let it be a dog and pony show for them. I am sure they would be just as upset by this and you don't have to actually get romantically involved to achieve it.
Author ARDriver01 Posted December 28, 2007 Author Posted December 28, 2007 AR-- Your marriage had lots of problems for sure, and yes, you contributed to some of the problems. Wouldn't you be better served right now to disentangle yourself from your marriage and figure out what your contribution to this failed marriage was? No, I appreciate all of your advice along the way, you've really helped me, but your wrong here. I did nothing to make her cheat. She's whore, a user, a liar, a fake and a con. She is the personification of pure, narcisistic evil. I did nothing. I did everything I could to be a good, understanding and overly patient husband. I found her doctors, I loved her, I held her, I listened to her. I didn't do anything to contribute to her behavior. None of this is my fault. None of it. If only you knew. I wish people would stop assuming that I had some part to play in this. It's never enough for her. She always needs more penis. Someonelse to cry to about her f-d up childhood. When they listen, she f-ks them and now she has another slave. I wish you understood.
Trialbyfire Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Has she ever been diagnosed with a disorder Ardriver?
Author ARDriver01 Posted December 28, 2007 Author Posted December 28, 2007 And, no I would never, NEVER take her back. She's not even a human being in my opinion. When she lies, or yells at you for suspecting her of something her eyes dialate and become completely black. She hits you and threatens you. She attacks your emotions where she knows it'll hurt you forever. She tells you that everything is fine and everything is going to be okay, and then she leaves and does her thing. She tries to keep you in by asking for help and crying and begging for forgiveness, telling you she wants kids and a family someday, please don't leave me I'm sick, and then you find out that she's been with someone else for months behind your back. Then when it's all out in the open, she wants to take your possessions, car, bedroom set, money in the bank, you find out online that she has another account and that she's been racking up thousands of her SSI money that she gets for being sick in the head. SHE GETS PAID FOR WHO SHE IS! And wants more from you. Think about it. No joke. I wish someone else here has had a thing like this in their lives. I wish you guys knew what I was really dealing with. It's awful. It's not right. I really wish I could forget. I do. I pray for it. Sometimes I have real highs and then I have nightmare lows.
bish Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 So, I've been away from my sucubus wife for a month now. I'm putting on some weight and doing the whole online dating thing. I'm having good luck and meeting many interesting people. I can't seem to shake the fact that I've been so wronged though. I feel increasingly angry all day at these two idiots. The guy she's effing has no life, has never worked a day in his life, doesn't drive and lives in a sober living home. He laghed at me when I called him a month ago to hold him accountable for his bad behavior and hung up on me. My wife then called me to defend him and ask why I called him to which I replied with venomous scourning. She hasn't called me since. Hey, just as in my situation, you should take comfort in the fact that she is now with a real loser. She is who she needs to be with....she is trash and is now with someone else who is trash. I'd celebrate if I were you!!! The fact is this: These two vampires act out in selfishness and hurt people. When they've done their damage, they try to forget about it and they continue being drains on society and ruining other peoples lives with their crys for attention(cutting, drug addiction, hospital overnighters and other BS). They resent those that hold them accountable and become angry without any real privilage to it. Well if all what you say is true...they will be held accountable some day...by the law. I've been through this before and this time I wont be swept under the carpet with the rest of their many skeletons. They taught me to hate, and now I'm going to teach them to fear. Well don't let scumbags like that turn you into a hater...not saying you can't be justifiably angry...just don't let it turn into hate. You are better than that. That being said, oh I don't see anything wrong with a little payback...as long as its legal and well focused. I'm going out for coffee with the Other Guys ex-. I found her URL. She's also his baby's momma. I want to test the waters and see if there is any kind of chemistry with her. She's cute and seems interesting. Uh...be sure you aren't getting someone just like your X and her loser...be very careful here. But don't force anything...don't bed her down thinking you are getting revenge...then it would be you that turns into a jerk.
sally4sara Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I'm sorry, but while wanting to find a better partner to move on with is understandable, the fact that you have immediately focused on his ex and his child is really disturbing. You are doing it out of hatred and I worry who will be the easiest to lash out at over time. How can you promise that your hatred will not land on a child who's needs you will not be attending to out of want or familial bond? See the satisfaction you stand to gain here will not last this child's years. When it gets hard and a kid needs someone strong in their life you might not feel as willing to live up to that responsibility.
Kasan Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 No, I appreciate all of your advice along the way, you've really helped me, but your wrong here. I did nothing to make her cheat. She's whore, a user, a liar, a fake and a con. She is the personification of pure, narcisistic evil. I did nothing. I did everything I could to be a good, understanding and overly patient husband. I found her doctors, I loved her, I held her, I listened to her. I didn't do anything to contribute to her behavior. None of this is my fault. None of it. If only you knew. I wish people would stop assuming that I had some part to play in this. It's never enough for her. She always needs more penis. Someonelse to cry to about her f-d up childhood. When they listen, she f-ks them and now she has another slave. I wish you understood. AR--I am really sorry that I upset you--You are correct, you didn't cause her to cheat on you, she is very sick and making really bad decisions now. I guess I was thinking along the lines of you having a look at yourself and finding out why you needed to have such a needy, destructive person in your life. It was my hope for you that you would figure this out before you jumped into another relationship. I am aware of how stressful the past six months have been for you. How is your grandmother doing? I am also concerned that you are trying to get revenge on a woman who is Bipolar, and cuts herself. To me, it seems like you are kicking a dog when it is down. You've admitted that she doesn't take her medication. I got revenge on someone who hurt me badly many years ago. Sure, it felt good at the time, but it is something that I have regretted since. I hope that you reconsider, and don't drag yourself down to her level. I hope that you continue your counseling.
Mz. Pixie Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I'm sorry, but while wanting to find a better partner to move on with is understandable, the fact that you have immediately focused on his ex and his child is really disturbing. You are doing it out of hatred and I worry who will be the easiest to lash out at over time. How can you promise that your hatred will not land on a child who's needs you will not be attending to out of want or familial bond? See the satisfaction you stand to gain here will not last this child's years. When it gets hard and a kid needs someone strong in their life you might not feel as willing to live up to that responsibility. Sally is right here. This is very disturbing to me. IMO you need some strong professional help. You're not healing. If your doctor told you it would be fine to date then you haven't shown him the side of you that says things like this. You do not even know this woman, but yet you're thinking about hooking up with her and raising her child?? For you to even be on that page shows that you aren't recovered. I'm sorry you're going through this I truly am, it's wrong and it sucks and I know you must be angry. But you're scary angry. If your IC is on board with this I suggest you find another doctor.
Trialbyfire Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 A bipolar cheater without regular meds, who's violent, can do a number on anyone. I agree that you either need another IC or even something more.
Author ARDriver01 Posted December 28, 2007 Author Posted December 28, 2007 I guess I was thinking along the lines of you having a look at yourself and finding out why you needed to have such a needy, destructive person in your life. It was my hope for you that you would figure this out before you jumped into another relationship. . Hey, it's all good. This is very true however. I'm actually talking to another really nice girl that I met on Match. She's independent and very honest. I'm hoping to meet up with her next week. If and when I start to have feelings for anybody, I'm supposed to go to my Doctor and tell him about it. He says that for reasons that lie in my childhood, I'm attracted to needy damaged girls. I can't even tap into why, myself. I don't even know if I believe that, but I wont write it off as nonthreatening. Dating right now is going to destract me from my anger and pain. If I meet someone that I like, I'm going to be in the zone of "She's with who she needs to be with, a looser" and yes, I will celebrate my newfound freedom from her and her mistakes. While I have friends that love me, that I live with, thank God, I'm still alone, and she's living in some botched love dreamworld with this junkie scum. I get more mad the longer time goes by without recieving affection or feeling wanted by someone. Trust me, dating is a very good thing for me, especially right now. It's just dating. If I really meet someone, I wont care so much. This scheme of mine right now really, probably isn't a good idea at all. It sure would feel great though. I still might persue it if no one else comes along sooner. I'm hoping to meet someone great before I step off of this ledge into this vengeful endeavour. It's just too tempting.
Author ARDriver01 Posted December 28, 2007 Author Posted December 28, 2007 A bipolar cheater without regular meds, who's violent, can do a number on anyone. I agree that you either need another IC or even something more. She's actually a Borderline Personality. I highly encorage all of you to read about it. It's mostly in women but it's a need to know kinda thing. These people are parasites,vampires. They have a black hole in them that litterally sucks the life out of the people with whom they coexist. This isn't an urban legend or a metaphore. Look at the pictures here. http://www.plentyoffish.com/member5933381.htm The one in the cutoff shirt is me before I was with her. The one to the right is recent. It's very, very real and very scary. Doctors over the last three years have been unable to figure out why my blood pressure was way below average and why I was loosing weight all the time. Very real.
brothermartin Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 She's actually a Borderline Personality. I highly encorage all of you to read about it. It's mostly in women but it's a need to know kinda thing. These people are parasites,vampires. They have a black hole in them that litterally sucks the life out of the people with whom they coexist. This isn't an urban legend or a metaphore. Look at the pictures here. http://www.plentyoffish.com/member5933381.htm The one in the cutoff shirt is me before I was with her. The one to the right is recent. It's very, very real and very scary. Doctors over the last three years have been unable to figure out why my blood pressure was way below average and why I was loosing weight all the time. Very real. Sounds a lot like the s**t I went through with my last ex. I will look into that. Thanks man. By the way, don't go for the ex's ex just to hurt them, unless you find yourself really falling for her.
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