Lishy Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Hi guys, hope you all had a fab xmas! Well as some of you may know me and my boyfriend split up 3 days before christmas I went to his house today to give him his stuff that was here and alo to pick up my sons trainers that were at his house When I got there he handed me 2 bags so I asked what was in the other and he said it was my xmas present - It was the Banksy canvas picture I really wanted! BUT I stayed strong and handed it back to him, he protested and insisted I keep it but I told him I didnt want it! I love that picture and it is so expensive I would never buy myself it! I am proud of standing strong as seeing him made me really miss him but he has hurt me so deeply this christmas that I cant forgive him.
Lizzie60 Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Hi guys, hope you all had a fab xmas! Well as some of you may know me and my boyfriend split up 3 days before christmas I went to his house today to give him his stuff that was here and alo to pick up my sons trainers that were at his house When I got there he handed me 2 bags so I asked what was in the other and he said it was my xmas present - It was the Banksy canvas picture I really wanted! BUT I stayed strong and handed it back to him, he protested and insisted I keep it but I told him I didnt want it! I love that picture and it is so expensive I would never buy myself it! I am proud of standing strong as seeing him made me really miss him but he has hurt me so deeply this christmas that I cant forgive him. Stay strong... I know it's easier said than done... but hang in there, it will get easier as time goes by.
Jilly Bean Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Damn, Lishy! You are quite the rock! Good for you for staying true to yourself. I am sure it is beyond hard...
Author Lishy Posted December 28, 2007 Author Posted December 28, 2007 It is so hard to walk away from a man you still love. I know he is not right for me as he is very unreliable, he chose the worst time ever to let me down. I am feeling a bit upset right now for the first time in a week but I will get over it, and him!
ahah2322 Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 i am so proud of you, girl! im sure this post will iinspire many to be as strong. in any case, stay strong and be well.
Legend Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Wow man, get over it. Forgive and Forget, it's not like he cheated on you. You're gonna regret this in the long run. Give the guy a damn chance.
shadowplay Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I have to agree with Legend. I don't think what he did justified a breakup, especially considering you love each other and were together for 18 months.
Art_Critic Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Wow man, get over it. Forgive and Forget, it's not like he cheated on you. You're gonna regret this in the long run. Give the guy a damn chance. I have to agree with Legend. I don't think what he did justified a breakup, especially considering you love each other and were together for 18 months. How can you guys say that she shouldn't have broken up with him. What he did was controlling and abusive and if it happened to either opne of you I would hope you wouldn't stand for it either. Lishy, Good for you.. remember though that your future isn't written yet.. you never know what the future holds and after some time apart maybe you both will be able to reconcile.
hotgurl Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 lishy, good for you stay strong. He is not right for you.
shadowplay Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 (edited) How can you guys say that she shouldn't have broken up with him. What he did was controlling and abusive and if it happened to either opne of you I would hope you wouldn't stand for it either. Lishy, Good for you.. remember though that your future isn't written yet.. you never know what the future holds and after some time apart maybe you both will be able to reconcile. Perhaps I missed something; I didn't read all of her original thread. Correct me if I'm wrong: she cancelled on going to his work party, he cancelled on spending time with her family as a result. Yes, it's an immature, spiteful thing for him to do, but I hardly see how it's horrible or abusive. It sounds like there was some miscommunication. Her bf took it as a slight that she didn't show to his work party, perhaps because he didn't understand fully why she couldn't show. I doubt if she had good reason and he understood her reason, he would have cancelled on her. Perhaps he didn't understand how important the holiday was to her. If he does this often, then I could see it justifying a breakup. But if it's a one time thing, is it really worth throwing out love and eighteen months over? Personally, I wouldn't break up with somebody over an isolated incident unless it was really horrible like cheating or part of a larger, firmly entrenched pattern of behavior. I get the sense that she wasn't entirely satisfied with him overall and was looking for an excuse to break up. If she was "in love" she probably would have given him a second chance. Edited December 28, 2007 by shadowplay
hotgurl Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Perhaps I missed something; I didn't read all of her original thread. Correct me if I'm wrong: she cancelled on going to his work party, he cancelled on spending time with her family as a result. Yes, it's an immature thing for him to do, but I hardly see how it's horrible or abusive. It sounds like there was some miscommunication. Her bf took it as a slight that she didn't show to his work party, perhaps because he didn't understand fully why she couldn't show. I doubt if she had good reason and he understood her reason, he would have cancelled on her. Perhaps he didn't understand how important the holiday was to her. If he does this often, then I could see it justifying a breakup. But if it's a one time thing, is it really worth throwing out love and eighteen months over? Personally, I wouldn't break up with somebody over an isolated incident unless it was really horrible like cheating. It's more patterns of behavior that are red flags. She had to cancel the work party because her babysitter got sick and couldn't watch her son and she couldn't find a repalcement sitter on short notice. He canceld x-mas to get back at her and earlier inthe week he blew her off because he was out drinking until 5am and couldn't be bothered to get up or phone her. Also this is not the 1st time he has done something of this nature. I feel Lishy was justified in ending the relationship/
shadowplay Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 (edited) She had to cancel the work party because her babysitter got sick and couldn't watch her son and she couldn't find a repalcement sitter on short notice. He canceld x-mas to get back at her and earlier inthe week he blew her off because he was out drinking until 5am and couldn't be bothered to get up or phone her. Also this is not the 1st time he has done something of this nature. I feel Lishy was justified in ending the relationship/ Is she sure that he cancelled just to spite her? What was the excuse he gave her? It doesn't make sense to me that he would do that if she couldn't find a babysitter. What choice does he have? Something doesn't add up. This is why I"m wondering if there was some misunderstanding> Edited December 28, 2007 by shadowplay
hotgurl Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Is she sure that he cancelled just to spite her? What was the excuse he gave her? It doesn't make sense to me that he would do that if she couldn't find a babysitter. What choice does he have? Something doesn't add up. This is why I"m wondering if there was some misunderstanding> I don't know. although she had mentioned that he had a habit of canceling plans in retaliation.
curiousnycgirl Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Perhaps there was a misunderstanding, but he turned his phone off - so there was no way for her to discuss it with him. I understand your trying to be balanced, but this guy has done this to her before. He cancels and makes it impossible to communicate. Unacceptable behaviour - period full stop. Good for you Lishy! You deserve better and now you are free to find him!
whichwayisup Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Sorry that you're hurting. I know this wasn't easy as you still love him deeply.
Author Lishy Posted December 29, 2007 Author Posted December 29, 2007 Ok just to clear it up for people who are unsure - I cancelled his work do as my mum was sick and in return he cancelled christmas with me and my fam! He has done stuff like this before and he can act really immature at times! I have not ended this on a whim! I would never do this as I I love this man! WHy would I end it with a man I love just on a whim? I am not stupid!
Star Gazer Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Why would you end a relationship with a man you love at all?
Legend Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Why would you end a relationship with a man you love at all? At least someone sees it like I do.....
Art_Critic Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Because you love a person isn't a good reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship.. If you look at all the breakups out there there are a good bit of them that happen for good reasons even though one or both party's love one or each other.. Because she loves him doesn't mean that she should allow herself to be treated the way she has been treated.. repeatedly
Author Lishy Posted December 29, 2007 Author Posted December 29, 2007 Because you love a person isn't a good reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship.. If you look at all the breakups out there there are a good bit of them that happen for good reasons even though one or both party's love one or each other.. Because she loves him doesn't mean that she should allow herself to be treated the way she has been treated.. repeatedly At least someone sees it like I see it! Star just because you love someone it does not make it right to stay with him if he does not treat you right!
Author Lishy Posted December 31, 2007 Author Posted December 31, 2007 He has still not called and I am pleased It is always so much harder when he calls or texts!
compassion42 Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 If he asked you...do you think you could ever forgive him and return to your relationship? Something tells me this isn't really 100 percent over yet.
Author Lishy Posted December 31, 2007 Author Posted December 31, 2007 If he asked you...do you think you could ever forgive him and return to your relationship? Something tells me this isn't really 100 percent over yet. I dont think I could in all honesty! I do love him and I could fill many pages on his good points, however, I know I cannot put up with his bad points. I have spoken to him many times about this behaviour and he remains to act this way at times. I cannot and will not put up with it any longer! Cancelling christmas was the biggest mistake he could ever had made. I will never forgive him. He had the cheek to send me a joke text today! Unbelievable!!!!!!
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