unlovedmale Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I realize there are some people (I'd have thought predominantly men but maybe I'm wrong) have done this but I'm seeking some insight into what does this say about future relationships. Say a woman decides it's time to have sex with a new bf for the first time and does the deed, everything apparently okay if not great I assume, but then on getting a call in the small hours from an ex kicks the new bf out of bed and then lets the ex (who lied, cheated and treated her horribly) into the appt. which then leads to sex with him, just a couple hours after the first. What does this say of the woman? I'm interested in hearing from the womans perspective that would justify this.
spookie Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I'd say it means she's still in love with the ex and hasn't figured out yet how to act so that people don't mistreat her.
Nemo Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I'd say it means she's still in love with the ex and hasn't figured out yet how to act so that people don't mistreat her. Spot on. Before I read this, I was thinking that the ex must have a bigger penis.
Trialbyfire Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I'm interested in hearing from the womans perspective that would justify this. Nothing could possibly justify this kind of behaviour. It sounds like she deserves her lying, cheating ex...
Nemo Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Nothing could possibly justify this kind of behaviour. It sounds like she deserves her lying, cheating ex... Let's examine this a bit further. She does something despicable, and her punishment is a bigger penis. Am I the only one disturbed by this logic?
Trialbyfire Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Let's examine this a bit further. She does something despicable, and her punishment is a bigger penis. Am I the only one disturbed by this logic? All that glitters, is not penis...
popey Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 or maybe she doesn't give a **** about either of the guys, and just wanted sex? ... or maybe she was afraid of what she felt with the new guy, and therefor behaved in the subsequent way with the ex to protect herself from being hurt again... what i mean is, maybe she's in that "no man will ever mean nothing to me." stage.
bish Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I realize there are some people (I'd have thought predominantly men but maybe I'm wrong) have done this but I'm seeking some insight into what does this say about future relationships. Say a woman decides it's time to have sex with a new bf for the first time and does the deed, everything apparently okay if not great I assume, but then on getting a call in the small hours from an ex kicks the new bf out of bed and then lets the ex (who lied, cheated and treated her horribly) into the appt. which then leads to sex with him, just a couple hours after the first. What does this say of the woman? It says she is a tramp to which the bf doesn't need to give any more consideration.
Nemo Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 It says she is a tramp to which the bf doesn't need to give any more consideration. Let's not get too judgemental. We're all human. Human's make mistakes - some of which are above our personal thresholds of tolerance. Having said that, Dr Phil would say that past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour.
Woggle Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 It says that the BF should kick her to the curb.
Nemo Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 It says that the BF should kick her to the curb. I think he was the one who got kicked out of bed.
Trialbyfire Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I think he was the one who got kicked out of bed. In this situation, two boots would make a right.
Nemo Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 In this situation, two boots would make a right. How true. No wonder so many lust after you.
Jilly Bean Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 It says that the new BF is a lousy ****, for one thing. Beyond that, it also says she still has a lot of feelings for the ex, and perhaps wanted an excuse to get rid of the new BF. Honestly, a guy can totally win me over if he is amazing in bed, even if I was (relatively) lukewarm about him before. Converse is true if he is crappy in bed.
pyroguy Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Does that give her the right to treat him as a sub-human being? And, how do we know the girl doesn't suck in bed? why is it the guy?
Jilly Bean Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Because he said that everything was great with her, that's why. I never made a comment on her behavior, he just asked for opinions on why a woman would do this.
pyroguy Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Well, not to split hairs or be a pain, but he said OK if not great- some indecision. Also, he asked what does that say about this girl? and I would say she is a waste of time. Like TBF said, two boots would make a right here.
Author unlovedmale Posted December 28, 2007 Author Posted December 28, 2007 Just to be clear I wasnt either of those two guys so I could only assume it was okay or something beter. But for what its worth she isnt that fantastic in bed herself - its okay and enjoyable but not all it could be. Needless to say I didnt know of this past behavior till recently so I wonder if that affected our relationship and whether she'd done it more than that once.
Trialbyfire Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Even if her b/f sucked in bed, nothing justifies sloppy seconds. It's rude and disrespectful, in that I sincerely hope latex was used, in both beddings. If someone is capable of doing something once, unless they're truly traumatized to change, they'll do it again.
Jilly Bean Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Oh, I getcha. You are saying this did this BEFORE she met you? Well, you have a very simple choice then. Either you allow it to stay in her past, or you continue to worry history will repeat itself. It depends on her take on it, really. If she has no remorse, then I'd walk (er, run - lol). If she is regretful, then take it as a mistake and one that she learned from.
bish Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Let's not get too judgemental. We're all human. Human's make mistakes . Uh...kicking a boyfriend out of the apartment so the X can come over and bang her is NOT a mistake. Its a deliberate and despicable act. No mistake about it.
bish Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I think he was the one who got kicked out of bed. I thought you implied that she made a mistake?
bish Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Even if her b/f sucked in bed, nothing justifies sloppy seconds. It's rude and disrespectful, in that I sincerely hope latex was used, in both beddings. . Yup..and if someone insinuates that he was bad in bed....then why not break up with the guy so she can spread her legs for whoever she wants? I mean surely as a boyfriend, she had plenty of time to assertain whether he was good enough right? And she doesn't have to be good....she just has to be there.
Trialbyfire Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Yup..and if someone insinuates that he was bad in bed....then why not break up with the guy so she can spread her legs for whoever she wants? I mean surely as a boyfriend, she had plenty of time to assertain whether he was good enough right? And she doesn't have to be good....she just has to be there. I've always found it strange whenever anyone says someone is bad in bed. If you truly cared about someone, how bad could they possible be? If you're into it, the two of you are going to get some form of pleasure from it. I guess it boils down to having sex with someone you don't care about v. making love to someone you do care about.
bish Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 I've always found it strange whenever anyone says someone is bad in bed. If you truly cared about someone, how bad could they possible be? If you're into it, the two of you are going to get some form of pleasure from it. I guess it boils down to having sex with someone you don't care about v. making love to someone you do care about. Also the funny thing about someone claiming someone else is bad in bed is about the ultimate form of narcissism. That person is assuming they are fantastic in bed.
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