Author jessbaby24 Posted December 30, 2007 Author Posted December 30, 2007 Hey thank you all for the support cause im really confused and really cant talk to my friends and family about this just yet.Anyways he called me last night around 11 p.m. and we talked for a little while.Said he wanted to see me and would call me to meet up.I was planning to tell him the "wonderful" news last night.But once again he failed to call me to meet.I been tryin to get in touch with him all day today but no luck. So i give up on tryin to be fair and letting him know about the child.I live in a small town and im friends with his friends so im sure he will find out sooner or later.I have to admit i miss him and i still love him but it seems like its time to let go.
PoshPrincess Posted December 30, 2007 Posted December 30, 2007 Jess, I really feel for you. I can't imagine how tough things must be but I agree that this has to be about you and your baby for the time being. You have decided not to terminate your pregnancy which is very brave of you and I am glad you feel you can give your child a decent life. As said, there IS help out there for single parents. Here in the UK there seems to be lots of help for people not working (even couples) but less for single parents struggling to balance work/childcare. You have to look into the best way forward for you. Being a Mum is the most fantastic thing in the world, nothing comes close, and there are many many single parents out there (myself included) who may struggle, but manage. The rewards of being a parent far outweigh the bad times. As far as the father is concerned, you tell him if and when you're ready. Yes, he does have a right to know (if that's what you want) and I think your child will have a right to know that his father was given the opportunity to make an informed decision on whether he wanted contact with him/her. It will be harder for your child to bear later in life if they feel you never gave their father the chance to actually be a Dad to them. If the father IS prepared to look after you financially at least then he will HAVE to tell his W/SO. You need to be prepared for the incriminations that this will bring so make sure you are mentally and physically able to handle this before you let him know anything. Lots of luck. Keep us posted x
Author jessbaby24 Posted December 31, 2007 Author Posted December 31, 2007 Tried to get in touch with him today.His phone been off all day.I feel so stupid. how could i have let this happen.
Gwyneth Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 Tried to get in touch with him today.His phone been off all day.I feel so stupid. how could i have let this happen. Nonsense. First of all, he has no idea you're pregnant. Second, you knew prior to finding out you are pregnant what you are dealing here with--a loser. He's playing games with you--do you even want a man like that, excuse me...a BOY like that in your child's life? I certainly would not. That is why I chose to abort my baby and never tell Peter Pan himself that I was ever pregnant. Had I kept the baby, I would have told him (or he would have seen I was pregnant) but kept him as Far away from baby as possible. Children do not need Peter Pan figures in their lives. You shouldn't be feeling stupid--don't be silly. These things happen All the time. Relax--you are thinking too much. Focus on the future. You said yourself you can raise this child on your own financially. So do it. He's only going to be difficult and cause you a lot of hearache and pain--more than he already is. Dump him like yesterday's trash and move forward with your life. You are pregnant, get with it now. Focus on your pregnancy--take your vitamins, go to yoga, do Whatever you have to do in order to complete your pregnancy with success. Join a Moms-to-be group, or a local Y where you can meet moms and become friends with them. Find and get all the support you need, but don't go looking for this support from Peter Pan--it just isn't going to happen because he's too much of a boy to handle it all. That is up to you, of course. My best advice is to give 90% of your time to your pregnancy and future baby, and the rest of your time to yourself. Oh, and forget trying to call him...obviously that is Not working. Either email him or send him a letter in the mail certified so you know he receives it. Or to his work--if he even has a job.
Author jessbaby24 Posted January 1, 2008 Author Posted January 1, 2008 Well i went to the doctor and im three weeks pregnant. Im surpised i actually got in touch with my guy today. He had the nerve to ask me did i love him of i course i do and he said he loved me. He said he was sorry that he had been too busy to get in touch with me.He took me out to dinner and then we went and walked around the park.We just talked and kissed .... but no sex.It was so romantic but he had to go home cuz u know his woman wanted him there with her when the clock struck twelve.Well at 12 a.m. he sent me a text saying happy new year and that he loved me. See he can be the sweetest man ever thats why its so hard to let him go.I will tell him about the baby i think im ready.Cuz he soon gonna see by belly gettin bigger anyways
SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Well i went to the doctor and im three weeks pregnant. Im surpised i actually got in touch with my guy today. He had the nerve to ask me did i love him of i course i do and he said he loved me. He said he was sorry that he had been too busy to get in touch with me.He took me out to dinner and then we went and walked around the park.We just talked and kissed .... but no sex.It was so romantic but he had to go home cuz u know his woman wanted him there with her when the clock struck twelve.Well at 12 a.m. he sent me a text saying happy new year and that he loved me. See he can be the sweetest man ever thats why its so hard to let him go.I will tell him about the baby i think im ready.Cuz he soon gonna see by belly gettin bigger anyways I'm sorry jess I can't say I'm overly happy for you I know you love him but honestly he sounds like a loser and a player. I havent looked in on this thread in a few days but I was kinda hopeing he would have stayed out of your life for your own good and more so that of the babys. I agree 110% with what gwyneth said here you should be relaxing more. And focussing on getting prepaired to be a new mom and all the joys that can entail. Not sitting there worrying and stressing about when or how your going to tell you MM that hes going to be a daddy. Thats if he bothers to even call you back dump him now find a real man who wants you and only you and the baby one that will take your calls! Good grief this thread makes me a bit sad anymore MM has a family don't you think you derserve the same? He sounds very selfish bottom line Just a thought what do you think is going to happen when he dose finaly notice the belly? Are you hopeing he will leave the W? I somehow just don't think so with this guy. I think he will push you away and then you will become depressed because he rejected you and the baby. Why not try to avoid that situation all togher if possible now? Hes going to have to tell her at that point how are you going to deal with all that drama? Its just not good for you or the baby
SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 He said he loved you to keep you hooked and to make you feel guilty for being upset at him for ingoring you its all a mind game to men like him! He most likely dosen't love you any more then his dog oh opps I ment "his women" got the 2 confused what with all the respect he has showen her! I wonder what he calls you to his friends if he even told any one of you that is.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 I wanted to PM you but it doesnt look like I can. It's actually in NJ--what a coincidence. Yes, I too hope Jess is feeling okay today and every day. Hmm I don't seam to know how to get my PMs working maybe because I'm new here I guess
Gwyneth Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Hmm I don't seam to know how to get my PMs working maybe because I'm new here I guess You have to enable PMs in your user CP. Jess, the MM I was involved with also asked how I feel about him. Then he went on to say that he Knows I want him and have feelings for him and so forth. Read my thread on it--it's fairly new. Your man asked the same thing--do you love me. You went and said yes, but I can't help but think you said "yes" because right now you are lonely and vulnerable. Jess please let this man not be a part of your life more than he already has to be (for the baby). I am still trying to figure out why my MM asked me about my feelings for him, and now that I have told him, he's ignoring me. I believe it is part of an ego thing (maybe a man around here can answer that one for us). Focus on what's important--he is Not important.
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 It was so romantic but he had to go home cuz u know his woman wanted him there with her when the clock struck twelve.Silly HER - I guess she wants to be with the one person in this world she THINKS she can trust her life with. Little does she know. Well at 12 a.m. he sent me a text saying happy new year and that he loved me. See he can be the sweetest man ever thats why its so hard to let him go.You've GOT to be kidding. A lame, sneaky text message - sent on the sly while his girlfriend is getting ready for bed - is all it takes to keep you happy? That should sadden you. Deeply.
OWoman Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Well i went to the doctor and im three weeks pregnant. Congratulations! Hope it goes well! Jess - I wouldn't get too excited about telling him though. I suspect he may be with you as a break from his woman and kids - your baby might put you into the same category, a chore rather than a choice. Just be prepared in case he does react that way. And you're under no pressure to do so immediately. It takes a while before your belly becomes noticeable, depending on your build and what you wear. It's winter where you are, right? So you can hide it under baggy jerseys and coats for a while yet, if you needed to.
Gwyneth Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Us OWs and OMs are the breath of fresh air for the MM or MW.
whichwayisup Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Us OWs and OMs are the breath of fresh air for the MM or MW. That's not a good thing though as it isn't long lasting.. Well i went to the doctor and im three weeks pregnant. Im surpised i actually got in touch with my guy today. He had the nerve to ask me did i love him of i course i do and he said he loved me. Seems he wanted to hear you say it first, make sure (ego stroke) you still felt it for him, instead of him just saying it to you first. Well at 12 a.m. he sent me a text saying happy new year and that he loved me. See he can be the sweetest man ever thats why its so hard to let him go Yet, he ignores you when you call him, when he's busy. You are using the slightest contact he makes with you, as something HUGE. The thing is, it's a false reality...Sorry. He will talk and see you on HIS terms, when he either feels like it, or when he has the time. You aren't being put first and you won't as he sees you just as the OW, nothing more, nothing less.. .I will tell him about the baby i think im ready.Cuz he soon gonna see by belly gettin bigger anyways Tell him next time you see him. The longer you wait, the more stressed out you will feel. Right now your health has to be first for the baby's sake.
Gwyneth Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 The walking disease saw me almost every day when I was pregnant and yet didn't know. Well, he did, he just wanted to pretend I was crazy and making things up. I never admitted I was pregnant. I was further along than you and slightly showing. Wearing baggy clothes helps as I hid it from all my college housemates at the time and friends and family.
not_clever Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Hiya Jess I was in your situation and I had my baby she is almost 6 weeks old. My MM threatened to tell his w the day the baby was born I almost murdered him. I have let him know she will never know he is her father he has seen her twice which he told me how much him and his w arent getting on {to the point she has been violent to him} I really dont need to know this. Good luck Jess hope all goes well for you.
Author jessbaby24 Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 Well today im angry because he's been ignoring me again. So i sent him a text since he's not man enough to answer his phone.I told him we are not working out and i cant deal with his mind games anymore. I realized i have someone else's life in my hands now and i dont need the stress.Because i believe it will cause me more pain to hold on to this man.Im sure i will miss him alot and i know some days will be unbearable but i have made it through worse. I just dont want to feel this pain anymore. Im hurting while he's out having fun or enjoying time with his family.But i knew what i was gettin into when i met this boy.I wish i had ran the other way when i seen him:confused:
whichwayisup Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Are you going to tell him you're pregnant? If you are, what are your expectations of him? If you don't plan on telling him, you'll be doing this all on your own and that includes no $$ from him to help with the baby.
Author jessbaby24 Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 No im not telling him about the baby.The way he's been acting lately i really dont expect much from him. I talked to him on tuesday.He says he's been busy doin stuff.He couldnt tell me what the stuff was that was keeping him so busy.Im guessing another woman.He was cheating on his woman before he met me!!But i was so stupid and blinded by his good looks and his sweet talk etc.I can take care of this child on my own. Oh another thing i was aked out on a date tonight by a SINGLE attractive man should i go? Or should i stay at home and clear my mind.
PoshPrincess Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 You've GOT to be kidding. A lame, sneaky text message - sent on the sly while his girlfriend is getting ready for bed - is all it takes to keep you happy? That should sadden you. Deeply. That's exactly what I thought too! And that's exactly what I got on New Year's Eve two years ago although I was seriously p*ssed off about it (although not sure what I expected!) These are the times when we need to realise we deserve something better!
PoshPrincess Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Jess, I am really pleased that you have decided to cut this man out of your life for your sake and the baby's. AND he's cheated before, which really wouldn't bode well, would it? I honestly hope you have the strength to see this through. Best of luck. Oh another thing i was aked out on a date tonight by a SINGLE attractive man should i go? Or should i stay at home and clear my mind. I would say have a break from men for a while but, hey, you deserve a bit of fun and if it takes your mind off MM for a few hours then why not?
Author jessbaby24 Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 Yea i could go on the date but i doubt itll get 'him' out of my mind.I think id rather get some ice cream and curl up in my bed and watch movies tonight.The guy that asked me out says he gonna call anyways so ill have fun talking to him too i hope...I know one of the rules is not to bring up my ex in our conversation..
Author jessbaby24 Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 Ok i went out on my date with this new guy and i was having a great time.Well i know people say text messages are not personal or whatever.But out of the blue "the ex" decides to send me a text "i love u" OMG!!What is he tryin to do to me.He ignores me all week and sends me a text like this .After that he calls but i didnt answer cause he just got me dumbfounded at this moment.Remember i had sent him a text earlier today sayin its time for me to move on.Im guessing him and his woman are not on good terms right now and he's feeling lonlely.I hate when he plays with my emotions :mad:
OWoman Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Ok i went out on my date with this new guy and i was having a great time.Well i know people say text messages are not personal or whatever.But out of the blue "the ex" decides to send me a text "i love u" OMG!!What is he tryin to do to me.He ignores me all week and sends me a text like this .After that he calls but i didnt answer cause he just got me dumbfounded at this moment.Remember i had sent him a text earlier today sayin its time for me to move on.Im guessing him and his woman are not on good terms right now and he's feeling lonlely.I hate when he plays with my emotions :mad: Jess, he sees you moving away and is trying to reel you back in. You can decide to let him play you on his fishing rod forever, or you can cut yourself free and swim away. This guy CAN'T commit. Not to his SO, not to his kids, not to anyone. If you're looking for some stability now with the baby coming, he's not it. If you're looking for excitement and some action on the side now and again when HE feels like it and has a minute for you, then maybe. I hope the rest of your date went well and you didn't let this playa wreck the evening for you?
RCCDMA Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 My mother was faced with a similar situation and had she chosen to exclude my father from my life I would not have the relationship with him that I do now. My father changed his ways, he found god and I honestly believe that he would be a good role model for anyone now. People do change.... Give your child a chance to know the father. Remember you are not doing it for him but for the child.
Author jessbaby24 Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 I told him about the baby.He said he knew i was pregnant.Yea right!! But he said he would be there for me and the baby.I must point out him and his brother own a construction business and he makes alot of money.But here comes the good part:I ended up in bed with him Sat. night.The next morning he got up and left saying he would be right back.Well he came back with some clothes and some personal items. I was like wtf!!So he has been here since then and doesnt look like he's leaving anytime soon.So i asked what time he was supposed to home he said "2 am Fri. What!he hasnt been to his home since sat morning.Im guess they are fighting again and he doesnt wasnt to go home.I hate to say i do enjoy having him around. He such a sweet, gentle,sexy guy but i know he's wrong for me but i cant seem to let him go.I hate myself for sleeping with him again but he's such a great lover omg he pushes me to exctacy.ahhhhh!!!
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