jlee Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 There’s this girl I've fell in love with. We dated for a couple months but she said she wanted to be friends cause she wasn't ready for a relationship, I never confess how I felt about her. But we still made out and stuff for several more months, and then we just stop making out just recently. She sends me confused mix signals. I have known her for almost a year. I decided to do something special for her and also confess. I invited her to my place, had a candle light dinner set up with soft music playing in the background. I cook her Italian food, and had champagne. We talked about life, the atmosphere was so romantic. I gave her some Christmas gifts and she seemed very happy, I handed her a rose. I put some thought in trying to get her something thoughtful and nice; she really loved the presents I got her. In it was a card that expresses my feelings. I asked her if she knew how I felt about her, she said “more than just friends.” I gave her a real close hug and whisper in her ears, "I'm in love with you...." looked her in the eyes and said "I want to be with you...” Just stare at her eyes while holding her and said “will you give me a chance?" She says back to me "we’re friends.” She said she had to go and she grabs the gifts and I said "Take care...” I guess I was too romantic and came on too strong but I needed an answer from her. I'm not exactly sure what to do now.
Legend Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Wow, shes not worth you're time. Move on... Next.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 First off I think I would have just melted! I think that is one of the sweetest thing Ive heard and I wish someone would do that to me.. haha.. It seems like she got a little freaked out and only see your relationship as friends.. Nothing more, nothing less! I dont think there is anything more you can do from here, if she had the courage to just up and leave like that. . I guess it wouldnt urt to text her or call and ask if you made her uncomfortable or not. I doubt she will make the inititiative to give you bad news , that you wierded her out!
mortensorchid Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Yeah, guy. Those are bitter pills to swallow, but you have to move on. Easier said than done of course, but you have to force yourself to get occupied with other things to take you away from this emotional prison you've put yourself into. I've been there, we all have. It has nothing to do with the fact that you did what you did with the dinner and the present spread. She's not interested.
Author jlee Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 I sent two text message, one asking her how she's doing and the other Happy New Years with no reply. I guess she's avoiding me now. I feel an awkward vibe. Did I make a terrible mistake? Deep down that's how I sincerely felt about her.
Lucasarts Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 honestly u did one of the few things most men are too afraid to do, and u did it with a lot of style gratz man, u keep doing what u did for her with some other girls...and man you'll be the talk of the town dont worry about this one chica, shes obviously lesbian or just too dumb to notice a good thing when she sees it
THE THRONE Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 THE THRONE says if he keeps it up he will be the talk of the town alright. He'll be the laughing stock and butt of all jokes if he continues such wimpiness. OP you said: We dated for a couple months but she said she wanted to be friends cause she wasn't ready for a relationship, So why press the issue? She told you she didn't want to be in a relationship. You could have saved your dignity and money by moving on at this point but you didn't. I never confess how I felt about her. You should NEVER have to "confess" how you feel about someone. Your actions should speak. but we still made out and stuff for several more months, and then we just stop making out just recently. She sends me confused mix signals. She didn't send you mixed signals you just failed to read them. She said loud and clear that she didn't want a relationship, and her actions showed she would deal with you until the BBD came along or until you were no longer an emotional tampon. THE THRONE says for now on, when you get what you call "mixed signals", you err on the side of caution and look at it as a negative. I invited her to my place, had a candle light dinner set up with soft music playing in the background. I cook her Italian food, and had champagne. We talked about life, the atmosphere was so romantic. What did she do to deserve any of this? I gave her some Christmas gifts and she seemed very happy, I handed her a rose. What did she give you? Anyway, THE THRONE is going to FF to the end of the post. I'm not exactly sure what to do now. You move on. She isn't interested. Did I make a terrible mistake? Terrible doesn't even begin to describe this fiasco. Deep down that's how I sincerely felt about her. Chapter 19 verse 4 of the Book of the Seven-Legged Lamb states: "19. Women choose, and the only thing that matters is how she doth feel about thee"
oppath Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I don't think you love her. I think you enjoy the idea of being in love and are not used to women giving you attention. That does not discredit the fact that you have feelings, but it seems to me you identified love long after she told you "I don't want a relationship." Obviously, you have feelings and strong ones. I just don't think they translate to love. I admire your balls, but all you can do now is walk away. She is not interested. Stop making out with her. Stop hanging out with her. I know it will be tough because being rebuked in love is one of the most difficult feelings. But you will cope and move on. I'd recommend in the future, leave the romantic gestures until you know the relationship is progressing. Only romance a woman if you feel confident she is going to take one step for each of your own. Be romantic towards women you are in relationships with, who have demonstrated not only their worth and value, but also that they want to be with you and just you.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I sent two text message, one asking her how she's doing and the other Happy New Years with no reply. I guess she's avoiding me now. I feel an awkward vibe. Did I make a terrible mistake? Deep down that's how I sincerely felt about her. No you didnt do anything wrong, you simply stated your feelings. Now she is aware of how you feel about her. But it seeems like she is only interested in being friends.
Ronni_W Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I sent two text message, one asking her how she's doing and the other Happy New Years with no reply. I guess she's avoiding me now. I feel an awkward vibe. Did I make a terrible mistake? Deep down that's how I sincerely felt about her. You did everything *perfectly*! Congratulations on being able to show sincerity and emotional maturity. I agree with your take that she is feeling awkward now -- that is about her and not about you or anything you did. I would not contact her for some time -- the two unanswered texts really is her answer, for where she is now. She isn't ready to contact you. She may or may not ever feel up to trying to continue the friendship; she may or may not ever come to a place of wanting to explore a deeper relationship with you. Do not get invested in what she may or may not decide. Do not second guess what you did -- you acted from a place of authenticity and integrity -- something that too many grown-ups never master. Just continue to live your life along the same path that led you to behave in such a warm, loving and truthful way.
Recommended Posts