annabelle75 Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 I agree about the counseling. I am terrified that going forward I will end up in the same place. Almost thinking maybe I am better off on my own, maybe permanently. I don't know. Maybe I am too screwed up to pick someone really right for me. Don't think that. After reading more of your story its almost scary how much you and I have in common. Just becasue your have realized that your husband isn't the right man for you doesn't mean you are too screwed up to have a good relationship with the right man some day. I felt the same way you do now while I was finally taking the steps to end my marriage.
Author AmyY Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 If your H has always been such a d*ick to you, throughout your whole M, then why are you with him, and just cheated on him suddenly deciding to leave him after the A? I'd have left an a8sshole like that a long time ago. JMO So, I feel badlyfor having painted him as an *******- because he really isn't, but he also hasn't been perfect. He is very closed off emotionally. I did almost leave him after he hit me but through counseling thought things would get better and they did. I didn't mind him being shut down then because I was so busy with my young daughter and work. Also, I just assumed that there was nothing better out there- I was worried about my security and that of my children. When I met the MM and fell for him, which I never intended- I was under the belief that if I just got certain needs met then we could have our picture-perfect (from the outside) suburban life and be just fine. And I do care about him- we've been together for 16 years- a long time. A.
PoshPrincess Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 (edited) So, I feel badlyfor having painted him as an *******- because he really isn't, but he also hasn't been perfect. He is very closed off emotionally. I did almost leave him after he hit me but through counseling thought things would get better and they did. I didn't mind him being shut down then because I was so busy with my young daughter and work. Also, I just assumed that there was nothing better out there- I was worried about my security and that of my children. When I met the MM and fell for him, which I never intended- I was under the belief that if I just got certain needs met then we could have our picture-perfect (from the outside) suburban life and be just fine. And I do care about him- we've been together for 16 years- a long time. A. I can understand how you forgave the infidelity but have a hard time comprehending how anyone could forgive physical abuse. Saying that, it hasn't happened to me so what do I know? Amy, cut all contact with MM (at least for the time being) and concentrate on ending things with your H. I think you may need some time out from Rs for a while! Edited January 5, 2008 by PoshPrincess Typo
Mino Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Point was I do admit there are remote possibilities to everything...but so is winning the lottery. You were asking me "never?" "ever?" So I answered. Yup...and my point was there are rare exceptions...but the majority of divorces don't go like yours....sorry. I will have fun with my code...and it will serve me well....if knowing someone is a cheater or has bedded down married people helps me avoid a huge mistake...damn right I'm gonna live by that code. Sure someone that hasn't cheated or slept with married people can turn out to be a mistake...but its a certainty that it will be a mistake if they have. I'm not going to jump in the lion's pit. If I accidentally fall in it...thats a different story. And I didn't change the subject with my example in the previous post...you do know what an "example" is right? And am I really wanting to get in an argument because you wanted to stick your nose up in the air and beat your chest over trying to say I was proven wrong? Rare exceptions happen...but I'm still going to go with what happens the majority of the time. Bish, I have noticed a change in you. You are not as angry anymore. good thing, just thought I would tell you that. Something I noticed lately:)
bish Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Bish, I have noticed a change in you. You are not as angry anymore. good thing, just thought I would tell you that. Something I noticed lately:) Oh I still get a little steamed....if anyone is offended by it...so be it. Because the behaviors of some that get me steamed are more offensive than any words I can say. But part of the reason you may see a slight difference is I am divorced now. The colors are much brighter...the flowers smell so much sweeter....its all good. Still doesn't mean I don't despise despicable behavior when I read about it.
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