mm1542 Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 my boyfriend of a year broke up with me a month ago. the relationship was always long distance, for half of it i lived in another country. We talked daily and his visited for a week. The other half i lived in the same state, but five hours away. We rarely saw eachother. We were also in different stages, he is a professional, I am a new graduate living with my parents now waiting to start my graduate program. He broke up with me because he felt as though he was loosing himself and wanted to address those things (high demands at work, detrimental ways of handling the stress, unhealthy, in debt...those are the reasons i can think of). I definitely felt as though our relationship also became stressful. Also, during this time he moved out from living with his sister who was struggling with prescription pills. It was all very abrupt. I will now be moving to the same city as him (this is not for him, its been in the works for a while). We still talk, I will call maybe once a week and for him the same. For no specific reason. He tells me of his improvemnts and what is going on in his life. The conversation is kept light, and we just talk about whats going on with each of us. I am really trying to not come on too strong/desperate or to look like a crazy ass. In sum, I miss him terribly and want us to get back together. I dont know how to read where we are going, if anywhere. I am moving next week. What should I do to respectfully put myself out there. What are my odds?? thanks! i love advice!
rosalie Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 To me your distance never allowed you both a normal and real relationship. Despite the fact you were seeing each other for a year you were never given the opportunity to grow naturally and do normal things, hanging out with friends and family and all those regular things and experiences that help to build love. It sounds like it was intense but hit and run. When you move to his city, if you are both open to it, you may need to start again so to speak and see how it goes when you are able to see each other when and where you want. It may work or it may not.
Author mm1542 Posted December 30, 2007 Author Posted December 30, 2007 that is true. throughout the relationship we did get along really well though. there was rarely conflict, and not a single intense argument (but we never saw eachother) and to me that time apart was an opportunity to better get to know each other. also, i took things alot slower than he did...i never reciprocated the i love you. he was very into me and had a diffrent approach than me. not that i do not and did not have strong feelings for him, i do. in my opinion, an ex...more so a recent ex does not just call to "catch up" there is still something there. he still says he misses me, and when in his city for interviews did initiate us meeting for dinner and a lunch the following day. i dont do games, but should i distance myself a bit if i want it to work out? how do i go about this?
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