flowergirl Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 Ok, is anyone else on here a football widow? I am discovering that I am. I've known for a long time that my boyfriend is seriously into football, and games are important to him, but he's forgoing a party that my aunt's having so he can watch the Patriots vs. Giants, because, as he says, it's the most important game in the world. Can anyone else, especially the women, relate to their boyfriends or husbands blowing off social occassions so they can watch football? Just need some emotional support if anyone else can relate.
Woggle Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 I think I am the only man that couldn't care less about football.
underpants Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 I'm not into football at all. However the giants/patriots game is the most important game in the world. It is being aired on Sat. One of those teams, should they win will be the first ever undefeated season. Apparently this is very important.
Trialbyfire Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 Haha...football widowhood. Pick your poison. While I'm not a big football fan, better football, than footsy with another woman or worse yet, he likes soccer...
Ms. Red Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 I grew up with my Dad like that. I knew if The Game was on that I didn't dare, walk thru the path of the tv view, ask for help with my homework or any other activities that would interfere with The Game. Christmas & Thanksgiving events had to be planned around The Game. My mother was overjoyed when a new invention called the VCR came out. But then we had to mute the radio or tv news as to not hear the score of The Game before Dad watched it. My H was in game development & suppport which made me a gamerz widow during my marriage. I got tired of him not partaking in my forms of entertainment that I & our son enjoyed so I became a gamer with him. I also find now that was a wise choice since my H is no longer in the home & need the knowledge to keep up with my gamer kid. Here's how I see what my father & husband did. I knew where they were. They were in the home with the family. They weren't running around cheating like I read so much about on LS. I'd rather they had a hobby in the home than out somewhere else.
Trialbyfire Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 If your aunt is having a party, why not have the TV on in one room, so the men and ladies who enjoy football, can watch. They can come out of their cave at half-time and socialize.
Deanster Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 As I always tell my wife, Football widow isn't such a terrible lifestyle. Games are mostly on weekend afternoons, there's only 16 per season for your home team, plus a couple random postseason and other 'important' games. You can watch every game your team plays through the Super Bowl in 65 hours. My wife isn't thrilled with the amount of football I watch, but realistically, it's 5-6 regular season games, at under 20 hours total, and then a similar number of post-season games - at ~50 hours, it's a modest hobby - less than an hour a week on average. If he likes college ball also, that can get a little out of hand... But... Try dating a serious baseball fan - 162 games at 3 hours each, that's 486 hours just for the regular season... Add in another 30-60 for the playoffs and World Series... That's a sports widow, right there. Hardly worth mentioning, but is the party he's ditching seriously 'fun' or is it just a family obligation? While the Patriots game isn't exactly a 'world changer', it's a sports moment that hasn't come around in 35 years, and should be fun to watch. I wouldn't ditch a fun party to watch it, but I'd sure bail on just about anything that didn't seem like an actively good time to watch it.
Author flowergirl Posted December 27, 2007 Author Posted December 27, 2007 Well, Deanster, this party is just a fun gathering, not an obligation. I just thought he'd enjoy being there because he loves my aunt and he had actually looked forward to gooing until they changed the game and decided to broadcast it on network TV (Damn you, network executives!!!) Anyway, I'm glad there are some people on here who understand, because I've never faced anything like this before. No one in my life before my boyfriend cared that much about football, and this can sometimes be overwhelming.
whichwayisup Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 Then he should call your Aunt and tell her he's sorry he can't make the fun party, but he has plans already to watch the game with some friends. (Hate to say it, but the next Patriot game is a big one, records are about to be broken) As you said too, it's a fun and casual party, not a serious gathering. Suggest to him that he come for an hour then leave before the game starts since it's a 8:15 start.
blind_otter Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 Things were like that with my exH, except he was addicted to watching every type of televised sport, from baseball to hockey to football and soccer and basketball. I gave up the TV to him. I would often sit in the living room reading or knitting while he watched his sports. It was always an issue. My current SO is not that big into sports, but he does watch on occassion. I have tried watching with him, he's patient and explains the rules and whatnot, but it's still not exciting. I tend to resort to reading a book or playing with my tarot cards or otherwise occupying my time when he's watching sports. I make a tradeoff. If I watch a sports event with my SO, he has to watch something he dislikes with me, like the movie "Stardust" or something equally girly.
Stockalone Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 I make a tradeoff. If I watch a sports event with my SO, he has to watch something he dislikes with me, like the movie "Stardust" or something equally girly. Sorry for going off topic but "Stardust" is not girly. Neil Gaiman's novel has very nicely been converted to film. Sure, there is romance but the movie is also unconventional, imaginative and a tad bittersweet. It is one of a kind and for sure one of the best fantasy films I have seen in recent years. Now back to topic and my masculine football side. Ok, is anyone else on here a football widow? I am discovering that I am. I've known for a long time that my boyfriend is seriously into football, and games are important to him, but he's forgoing a party that my aunt's having so he can watch the Patriots vs. Giants, because, as he says, it's the most important game in the world. Can anyone else, especially the women, relate to their boyfriends or husbands blowing off social occassions so they can watch football? Just need some emotional support if anyone else can relate. If he is a Patriots fan, the game will be very important to him as the Pats can become the first team in the NFL to go unbeaten since the introduction of the 16-game schedule. QB Tom Brady and WR Randy Moss can also set single-season league records in individual categories. Other guys will watch the game hoping the Giants will spoil the Pats quest for perfection. Well, Deanster, this party is just a fun gathering, not an obligation. I just thought he'd enjoy being there because he loves my aunt and he had actually looked forward to gooing until they changed the game and decided to broadcast it on network TV (Damn you, network executives!!!) Anyway, I'm glad there are some people on here who understand, because I've never faced anything like this before. No one in my life before my boyfriend cared that much about football, and this can sometimes be overwhelming. A fun gathering where an honest apology and explanation why we rather want to watch an important game doesn't harm anybody, is just not that big a deal for us guys. It's not like the guy is thinking about postponing a wedding or will be missing the birth of his children because of this game. Haha...football widowhood. Pick your poison. While I'm not a big football fan, better football, than footsy with another woman or worse yet, he likes soccer... Making fun of soccer isn't nice. From now on I am making a mental note of people who mock soccer. Nah, just kidding, but seriously, why don't you like soccer?
Citizen Erased Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 As I always tell my wife, Football widow isn't such a terrible lifestyle. Games are mostly on weekend afternoons, there's only 16 per season for your home team, plus a couple random postseason and other 'important' games. You can watch every game your team plays through the Super Bowl in 65 hours. My wife isn't thrilled with the amount of football I watch, but realistically, it's 5-6 regular season games, at under 20 hours total, and then a similar number of post-season games - at ~50 hours, it's a modest hobby - less than an hour a week on average. If he likes college ball also, that can get a little out of hand... But... Try dating a serious baseball fan - 162 games at 3 hours each, that's 486 hours just for the regular season... Add in another 30-60 for the playoffs and World Series... That's a sports widow, right there. Hardly worth mentioning, but is the party he's ditching seriously 'fun' or is it just a family obligation? While the Patriots game isn't exactly a 'world changer', it's a sports moment that hasn't come around in 35 years, and should be fun to watch. I wouldn't ditch a fun party to watch it, but I'd sure bail on just about anything that didn't seem like an actively good time to watch it. You have put way too much thought into that
quankanne Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 ask him if there's room for compromise, esp. since it's a relative he likes. Maybe an hour or so with the family, then the other place in time for the game. long ago I told DH I wouldn't drag him home with me every time I'd go visit my parents, and I expected him not to drag me to friends' houses because he wanted to go drink with them. So far, so good.
PinkRibbon Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 I would much rather be a football widow than what I am now...kicked out and cheated on. Seriously rethink the small things. In the great big scale football is really small.
HokeyReligions Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Yes. I too am a football widow. I understand this is a vital game though. There is no way to fight it and fighting it is detrimental to the relationship anyway. Get a season schedule and plan social engagements around games. Find some compromises - there may some games he will not be interested in. I don't know about the rest of the world, but high school football is as big here as the NFL. Hubby not only watches the televised games, he goes to the high school games when they are played here. Of course, we live near Katy and the Katy High School Football team is the best in the country! We don't have kids btw. I plan my own activities around the games too and I enjoy the time by myself or with friends and when the game is over we are both relaxed, feel respected and appreciative that we had time to ourselves to do what we want - so it's been a good thing. Most folks will understand about missing a party when they know how much football means to some people - especially this game. I think the city here will shut down for that - it's as big a deal, maybe bigger, than the Superbowl. Lots of people are having parties around this game just like they do the SB. I don't like football myself, but I respect how important it is for those who do. What a great way to tell him you love him! Support his desire to watch this game and he will be relaxed and love you more for giving him his space. He'll never understand why you need more than one pair of black shoes either - but we know!
Trialbyfire Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Making fun of soccer isn't nice. From now on I am making a mental note of people who mock soccer. Nah, just kidding, but seriously, why don't you like soccer? They fall down and grab their knees crying. Not very manly. I mean I would do Beckham but that's about all I like about soccer. If you want a real sport, hockey or baseball for me. The former, a contact sport, the latter, an all around good game. As for the Pats/Giants game, while I'm not a big football fan, I'll probably even watch this one, if only to watch Tom Brady.
Saxis Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 I'll watch one football team only, and that's in college ball. Anything other than that, hearing the score is enough for me...
Tomcat33 Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 I like that term "football widow" Having always ended up in LTRs with men that were hardcore soccer, and football fans and who played soccer themselves taking away from our time together, I even dated a tennis player for a while, I know all too well the feeling of having to give up family time together to entertain "his" past time. But this is the man you love, he has a passion for a sport, consider it a hobbie of his or part of who he is. There are way worse hobbies a man could have, regular boys night out that go on til 6 am, strippers and gambling come to mind... Of course it would so much better if he came along but I say go to your Aunt's get together and have fun with your family it is once in a while and you are not attached at the hip with him. You don't need to be together with him 24/7 to enjoy your time or to have fun. What if he worked shift work or if he had to travel for work or was on call? then you would still have to go alone. nothing says I love you more to a man than showing him you understand his passion for sports, even if you think it's a silly one.
whichwayisup Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 if only to watch Tom Brady. He's Hot! I feel the same way about soccer. Men who roll around on the field, acting like they've been stabbed, rolling around in pain, then 2 seconds later, they stand up and everything is fine. WTF is that? Yes, hockey.
Trialbyfire Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 I feel the same way about soccer. Men who roll around on the field, acting like they've been stabbed, rolling around in pain, then 2 seconds later, they stand up and everything is fine. WTF is that? Yes, hockey. It's the same mentality that makes guys take a dive in hockey, when someone hooks them. Glad they started that dive penalty rule. My only issue is, how can you penalize one player for diving and the other for hooking? You've either dived or been hooked, no?
Stockalone Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 They fall down and grab their knees crying. Not very manly. I mean I would do Beckham but that's about all I like about soccer. If you want a real sport, hockey or baseball for me. The former, a contact sport, the latter, an all around good game. There really must be cultural disparities. I will never understand how a sports fan cannot love soccer. Outside of North America none of "The Big Four" is as popular as soccer on a worldwide basis. To each his own, I guess.
Trialbyfire Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 There really must be cultural disparities. I will never understand how a sports fan cannot love soccer. Outside of North America none of "The Big Four" is as popular as soccer on a worldwide basis. To each his own, I guess. I grew up with an "any sport is a good sport" family. My father and brothers are sports fanatics. You'll be happy to know they love soccer too!
whichwayisup Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 I will never understand how a sports fan cannot love soccer. Just like I can't understand why a sports fan doesn't love hockey!
whichwayisup Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 It's the same mentality that makes guys take a dive in hockey, when someone hooks them. Glad they started that dive penalty rule. My only issue is, how can you penalize one player for diving and the other for hooking? You've either dived or been hooked, no? Oh they have diving penalties that go with hooking calls too. I've seen that lots of times. The dive has to be pretty obvious to be called, they can also be fined for it too.
Trialbyfire Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Oh they have diving penalties that go with hooking calls too. I've seen that lots of times. The dive has to be pretty obvious to be called, they can also be fined for it too. So have I but that's what bugs me. If the player was hooked, he was hooked. If he dived, he dived. You can't say that both players were at fault. If it's a dive, penalize the diver only. If it's a hook, penalize the hooker...oops...player doing the hooking...oops...nvm...
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