Considering leaving my husband

[Confusednlove]

My husband and I have been married for 5 1/2 years. I have known him since we were 5 years old, after we became a couple in high school I moved in with him. I basically was homeless and he gave me a place to live and I finished school. We've had numerous problems since the beginning of our relationship. We've broken up and gotten back together several times. We have a 9 year old daughter too. Over the past year we've been having lots of problems. He started drinking again, he had quit for several years since we moved away from our hometown. His drinking gets out of control and he gets violent. He has pushed me down, thrown a phone at me, punched me, even choked me. It could have been worse with me dead. He tells me that he doesn't remember because he was too drunk and that he would NEVER do that to me when he was SOBER. He also got a DUI recently, which is costing us significantly. I decided to sit tight due to the holidays and our daughter's birthday is coming up in Feb. But I am so confused and have trouble concentrating with all our problems. He tends to blame me for his problems or things that go wrong. I don't know what to do. I'm not happy. I'm considering leaving him after my daughter's birthday. His violence towards me has pushed me away. I can't forgive him anymore after all he's put me through. I was afraid to leave because I was scared he'd get drunk and then come back to our house and hurt me. He has pulled out a knife on me and threatened to kill me a few years back. This was before we got married. Please give me some feedback. I am confused and I feel all alone. Edited December 27, 2007 by Confusednlove
Not enough info

[Tony6]

ConfusednLove, what you have described is no way to live. Morevover, you are in a dangerous situation. The behaviors he is exhibiting tend to get worse, not better. Get out of it as fast as you can. When you do, I fear that he will become violent. Take out a restraining order against him if he does. Better yet, move as far away from him as you can. Stop being confused. He's dangerous. Get out of this dysfunctional relationship for your sake and the sake of your daughter.

[sumdude]

This is not a good situation for you or your child. There's no telling what he might do if he goes on a bender after you decide to go. There are groups that help women leave and get safe houses. I don't know who they are though I hope someone on this board can get you in touch with one.

[criedel]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]You need to get out before he seriously harms you or your child – this is a very dangerous situation. Get a restraining order and get out when he is out of the house. [/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]This is also setting a dangerous example for your child – this is not normal. If he really loved you and was truly horrified by punching or threatening you with a knife while he was drunk, he would stop drinking. He’s not. This is not what a marriage should be.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[Ms. Red]

If you are in the USA (which it seems by your location info) I found a ph# for you. I called it to make sure & it is answered 24/7. Please don't wait to call someone. You can just call & talk without giving out any information if you want.

 

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

 

You won't feel alone by calling & talking to someone at that ph#. Please, PLEASE call them. God Bless

[lonelyandtired]

Get out now. No one EVER has a right to physically harm you or put their hands on you that way. Drunk is no excuse. You and your daughter's safety trumps saving a marriage, particularly to someone who would hit you.