dreaming4ever Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 Doesn't it really suck when you do something that you KNOW is good for you yet you still end up feeling like crap about it? Like, a month ago I decided to split up with my bf of 2 years and even though I'm not angry all the time like I was with him and even though I know I couldn't marry someone like him, I still feel like absolute crap. Like, it's not even that I miss HIM because honestly, he did drive me nuts and breaking up was entirely the right thing to do but I miss the companionship. Like, honestly, I am just dying to kiss someone or hold someone right now. And even though near the end of our relationship we weren't doing that as much, right now it's just like this pregnant-lady-craving-gotta-have-it desperate desire. Crazy huh? Anyone else feel like this? I suppose it could be worse...I could be terribly distraught not to be with him but still....I am feeling very alone at the moment. Oh, I probably should have mentionned that I made the horrible mistake of ONLY hanging out with him while we were together and not any friends at all, which explains why I feel alone. NEVER DO THIS. Honestly, it's a very dumb idea because when the relationship is over, it's just you......alone. Extremely crappy. Anyways....my question is....what do you guys do when you feel like this to cheer yourself up? I just watched a movie and sang my heart out in the car but otherwise.....suggestions? I know it's probably far too soon but I just can't help wishing I could fall in love with someone again...like SOON!
Always Wrong Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 No doubt about it 4ever... being alone sucks.
Saxis Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 Find things you like to do, or try new things you might like to do. Actually go out and DO them. You'll gain friends with similar interests, and possibly someone who you can love and loves you back. At the very least, it'll keep your mind off the X.
Always Wrong Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 I know... but it's like shaking off a bad cold. It takes a little time to get going again.
Author dreaming4ever Posted December 26, 2007 Author Posted December 26, 2007 Saxis, What kinds of things can I go out and DO alone without looking like a complete reject? Go bowling or play pool by myself? I enrolled myself in a digital photography course but it's all girls.....and like, I don't go to the gym cuz I like to work out at home.....I don't go to bars/clubs......you don't really meet anyone at Chapters or the movie theatre which are places I love to go. Like, I'm at a complete loss here.....go out and do what?? Can you give me examples? I work part time as a manager at a video store and I told one of my co-workers I was going to put "single and looking" on my nametag lol....now THAT would be interesting...no?
Author dreaming4ever Posted December 27, 2007 Author Posted December 27, 2007 You're right Always Wrong, lol....now doesn't THAT sound weird!! Anyways, yeah....it is like having to shake off a bad cold. Oddly enough I also have a bad cold at the moment lol....but yeah, suddenly I'm in this foreign land and I have to learn how to function again. Like, I had to move to a new place and a new town and such so that's a lot to have to process all at once. I don't know how to just hang out with me anymore. How do I do it??? Maybe I should like workout like a madwoman like 10 hours a day so I look as hot as possible....sound ok?
randuff Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 Like, honestly, I am just dying to kiss someone or hold someone right now. Anyone else feel like this? I know exactly what you mean! Come to Texas and like, I'll take you out bowling, to play pool and enjoy a movie
s_n_d Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 When i feel extremely crappy, I hang out with friends and family. Their the main source of comfort for me. Other things i do are: watch reality shows and comedies. Nothing like watching people live their lives and forgetting about all your worries. Another thing that helps is listening to music that you could dance to. The beat always keeps me happy. And ofcourse i pray whenever i eel crappy. It gives me a great sense of comfort. Hope i helped in some way. You can always message me on the days you feel crappy. Hang in there. Itll all be ok eventually.
AnotherGirl Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 I made the same mistake. I began only hanging out with my ex (for the most part) and didn't have so many friends when we broke up. After the break up, I felt really crappy like you do because I hadn't maintained or developed good friendships. I cheered myself up by returning to my old hobbies. I would immerse myself in activities I enjoy and try to get to know other people. Eventually, I began developing friendly acquiantances with really cool people who have now begun to open up to me more. Spending time with these people for fun also helped me temporarily get my mind off of my ex. Of course, it didn't happen overnight...it has been four months since my break up, and I pretty much started the socializing around .5 months after the break up. I also try to focus on things that are important to me like school and convince myself that these things are going to get me through life (most likely), and there is no guarantee he will. So why spend more time on him when I should be spending time on something that will more likely guarantee me a living? I also suggest taking up a new hobby if you are interested in something. I will be taking dance classes and will also try to be more involved in a club at my school. Doing these things will not immediately make you feel happy for a long time, but at least you won't be sitting around not doing anything fun and productive. After a while, you may start feeling better about yourself because you're enjoying life without your ex. If you don't, then be patient. Let time help you heal. For now, all you can do is make the most out of your time by meeting new people, forming new friendships, and doing things you enjoy.
Always Wrong Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 I know exactly what you mean 4ever, about only being with that one person and noone else. There's a huge vacume where she use to be.
Author dreaming4ever Posted December 27, 2007 Author Posted December 27, 2007 Yeah....I've been watching a lot of TV (recently fell in love with Grey's Anatomy and watched it from the beginning) and reading a lot lately as well as playing my new game system Nintendo DS Lite which is super fun! But I just find there's SO MANY hours in a day! Like, what the hell am I supposed to do with them all? lol
AnotherGirl Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 Haha I know what you mean. There are so many hours in a day. Do you work or go to school? If you do, then maybe once winter break is over, you will be more occupied and will have more stuff to do. As for feeling like a reject socially: Don't worry about looking like a reject...every friendship has to start somewhere. Also, not every friendship works out, so don't get discouraged. Just take the initiative and go talk to people from work or from school. Make friendly conversation. Also...think of "singledom" as something positive in a sense. Now you are no longer attached to someone romantically. You have more time to explore your hobbies and meet new people. You are free to do more things without taking him into consideration. For me, sometimes I did not feel like doing something because it meant that I would have to be away from him for a looonng time. Now I know that even if I am in a relationship, I have to have a life of my own...being single helped me realize this. Plus, being single gives you an easier time in pursuing these sorts of things.
Always Wrong Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 A huge ice storm knocked down a bunch of my trees. I'm going to be cutting wood for a week!
AnotherGirl Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 Aww, at least it gives you something to do? This thread is scrolling quickly, by the way.
Saxis Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 Saxis, What kinds of things can I go out and DO alone without looking like a complete reject? Go bowling or play pool by myself? I enrolled myself in a digital photography course but it's all girls.....and like, I don't go to the gym cuz I like to work out at home.....I don't go to bars/clubs......you don't really meet anyone at Chapters or the movie theatre which are places I love to go. Like, I'm at a complete loss here.....go out and do what?? Can you give me examples? I work part time as a manager at a video store and I told one of my co-workers I was going to put "single and looking" on my nametag lol....now THAT would be interesting...no? I know exactly what you're talking about. Girls don't exactly flock to the things I like to do. I have a guys gaming night about once per week and men's bowling league once per week. We do occasionally go out to the bars after bowling. I'm not exactly interested in meeting women there, but it's fun to come out of my shell a bit and talk to people. I just take comfort in knowing that I can still have a life beyond my STBXW. What about your co-workers or classmates? I'd suggest making friends first. Friends are often a good source for meeting more friends and possibly more. As far as trying new things: coffee shop, library, maybe incorporate a walk/jog/bike ride around your neighborhood as part of your workout routine? Never know who you'll run into! The sky's the limit to things people do alone. Just keep your mind and body busy to keep you out of that rut!
Author dreaming4ever Posted December 27, 2007 Author Posted December 27, 2007 lol "do the carpet" as in wash them? lol...wow, someone really IS lonely! And Randuff, Yeah....I live in Canada and Texas is just a wee bit far but dammit!! That really sucks. Someone invent a damn time machine already and let me know when you're finished!
Always Wrong Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 I was trying to make fun of myself when I said there's a huge vacume where she used to be. Sorry, weak humor.
Author dreaming4ever Posted December 27, 2007 Author Posted December 27, 2007 I have 2 jobs...finished school last year. But both of my jobs don't have a lot of employees so it's kinda hard to get to know people there and make friendships. I just honestly do not know how people make friends if you're not in school or work at the same job. Can't someone just ring my doorbell and come join me in my pj's and watch a movie or something? lol I ventured out into the real world today and actually went to a movie theatre by myself....which is not something I normally do but it was a movie I was DYING to see....so at least that's something. Of course, didn't meet anyone there. And luckily the theatre was absolutely jammed so it was hard to tell I was by myself (lucky me)....but yeah....at least I wasn't lying on the couch at home eating cheetos or something. Oh and btw, the movie was JUNO and it was so completely hilarious. Like, I want to watch it again already!
Author dreaming4ever Posted December 27, 2007 Author Posted December 27, 2007 Ohhh...vaccuum, carpets, got it. lol Well like I said before, it would be much worse if I actually missed HIM instead of companionship. So I'm obviously not in as crappy a situation as some of you guys but still......hello BOREDOM! Hello, I need a frickin LIFE! Does Santa bring those in his big red bag??
s_n_d Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 Hahaha the pregnant lady thing. I have had that feeling every once in a while.
Lizzie60 Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 singledom rocks! I am never lonely... it's hard for me to even think I could get bored or lonely... I love my freedom... I love being single! I wouldn't change anything in the world. I have no problem going to public places alone... in fact I love going to restaurant alone and have breakfast on Sunday mornings... I often don't pick up the phone because I don't want to be bothered with company... I guess I'm slowly becoming an hermit.. lol I guess different strokes for different folks...
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