LoveLace Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 Dan and I haven't talked since our last little conflict which you all know about, I figured that was that. But nooo, he called me on XMAS day in the afternoon, left no message. Then he called at 3:30am this morning (probably drunk) and left a message going "Ho, Ho, Ho!"....why'd he call on xmas, did he think this would score booty points? If he's that big a player, you'd think it'd be easy to find someone else to "play"? I called him a big DK last time we talked!!....I don't understand...
Trialbyfire Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 If you feel he's a player, why let him play you Lovelace? Walk away, no contact.
Author LoveLace Posted December 26, 2007 Author Posted December 26, 2007 If you feel he's a player, why let him play you Lovelace? Walk away, no contact. Dont know if "player" is really the right word, but I've made no contact since we talked last which was an argument. I just don't get why you'd wanna keep calling someone who called you a "d**k" last time you talked to her! Usually guys disappear after something like that, in fact Dan usually even does, but why this time is different I don't know, now he's blowing my phone up. It isn't like he's even apologizing, just acting like nothing's happened. Probably cuz I've let it happen this way in the past. Oh well; guess I'll just let the phone ring until it stops.
Sweetcheripie Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 Dont know if "player" is really the right word, but I've made no contact since we talked last which was an argument. I just don't get why you'd wanna keep calling someone who called you a "d**k" last time you talked to her! Usually guys disappear after something like that, in fact Dan usually even does, but why this time is different I don't know, now he's blowing my phone up. It isn't like he's even apologizing, just acting like nothing's happened. Probably cuz I've let it happen this way in the past. Oh well; guess I'll just let the phone ring until it stops. Good girl! Your schedule is so busy you need to keep all down time open to meeting a really good guy! Not wondering about somebody who just isn't right for you! You sound happy Love Lace - somethings different in your posts. Not sure what it is but you sound more confident and happy. I'm proud of ya!
Kamille Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 I think it's time that you decide for yourself what it is that you want with this guy. Right now it sounds like the only reason you are trying to figure out what his calls mean is because you want to be treated with respect but don't dare ask for it. So number one, define what is being treated with respect by a potential mate for yourself. We all have our standards (and a hang up and a 3:30 am call sure wouldn't woo me, but to each their own) but once you've established what you want, then there will never ever be any reason to call him a d**k. Why, because you will know when to take someone seriously and won't bother with the ones you don't. Basically, this means you will be stepping up your game. Guys - or Dan- will have to live up to your standards to be with you.
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 You're a challenge, now. It has nothing to do with feelings for you and everything to do with the 'hunt.' The more you rebuff him, the more of a challenge you are to him. And these idiots love a challenge.
Author LoveLace Posted December 26, 2007 Author Posted December 26, 2007 Thanks Sweet well I am happier, because I'm starting the New Year with a new full-time and a new side job, that alone has made me in a better mood for the last 2 weeks straight! Only pain-in-the-rear left is my roommate, otherwise yes I'm happy and know darn well I want better than Dan. I just wish another (good) guy would hurry and come along already, so that I can really make Dan a thing of the past... If he keeps calling should I eventually just talk to him and tell him I'm no longer interested please stop?
Author LoveLace Posted December 26, 2007 Author Posted December 26, 2007 You're a challenge, now. It has nothing to do with feelings for you and everything to do with the 'hunt.' The more you rebuff him, the more of a challenge you are to him. And these idiots love a challenge. Ha :DThat's what I figure. It's all about Ego kicks. To get a reaction. Kam, I shouldn't have to ask for respect right? Perhaps not calling him back is my way of asking for that? Either way shouldn't it be pure common sense?
Trialbyfire Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 Lovelace, something tells me you're trying to reel this fish in. If he's really a player, once the games stop, so will he. Be careful what you ask for.
Ariadne Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 I just don't get why you'd wanna keep calling someone who called you a "d**k" last time you talked to her! Usually guys disappear after something like that, in fact Dan usually even does, but why this time is different I don't know. I told you, this might actually work out. He knows you well so he is not going to freak out by you calling him this or that or acting crazy etc. You've been friends for long and I'd say he likes you. That was cute the Hohoho, it was his silly way of saying Merry xmas. Ariadne
Kamille Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 Kam, I shouldn't have to ask for respect right? Perhaps not calling him back is my way of asking for that? Either way shouldn't it be pure common sense? Exactly, you don't ask for it, you deserve it. You expect it. In your shoes, I wouldn't call him back, but really, it doesn't matter. You're a confident woman who knows what she wants and who is confident that she deserves it. I swear, dating with this attitude is so much fun, because I was no longer scared of getting played. I wasn't on self-defense mode. I was just being myself, clear on my boundaries. The thing is, like TBF said, with this attitude, the players eliminate themselves.
Author LoveLace Posted December 26, 2007 Author Posted December 26, 2007 Well Ariadne your right, me calling him names is nothing new to him! But not calling him back, now that's new to him... I don't have a desire to call him back at the moment. Part of me wonders how long he'll do this before giving up. I know life isn't like the movies, but it's like, hey if he shows up with a dozen roses and a steak dinner I'd consider going back....HA ok maybe that's exaggerating, but you know what I mean?
Star Gazer Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 Lovelace, something tells me you're trying to reel this fish in. If he's really a player, once the games stop, so will he. Be careful what you ask for. I agree. LL, it seems you're not responding to him to get him to chase you, not because you're honestly through with a jerk who doesn't deserve you. Exactly, you don't ask for it, you deserve it. You expect it. Powerful people never ask for respect. They know they deserve it, and because of that, they get it. In your shoes, I wouldn't call him back, but really, it doesn't matter. You're a confident woman who knows what she wants and who is confident that she deserves it. I wouldn't call him back either, nor would I ever answer the phone. If you want to have fun with him at his expense, just enjoy watching the phone ring...and ring...and ring.
Author LoveLace Posted December 26, 2007 Author Posted December 26, 2007 I'm not holding back because I want it to make him chase me...reason I say that is because I used to try that with him in the past....it never worked, he just disappeared. So I'm surprised at this time being different. And yes it is kinda fun. Bout time the tables were turned.
Trialbyfire Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 It's about technique. Perhaps you're getting better at playing him back. You're enjoying it because you perceive yourself in the power seat. When...not if...the tides turn, how will you feel? Own it, Lovelace.
Ariadne Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 HA ok maybe that's exaggerating, but you know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean. But you'll talk again with him, for sure. Ariadne
Jilly Bean Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 LL, isn't this guy just your booty call? I know you post about him alot, and try to play it off like he is no big deal, but Im not sure I fully understand what the dynamic is all about. Is he your BF? Do you date? Or, is it just booty?
Author LoveLace Posted December 26, 2007 Author Posted December 26, 2007 LL, isn't this guy just your booty call? I know you post about him alot, and try to play it off like he is no big deal, but Im not sure I fully understand what the dynamic is all about. Is he your BF? Do you date? Or, is it just booty? TBF...inspiring words... I admit I feel some kind of POWER trip slowly building....hmmm...rising above... Jillybean we've never defined what we are. We met online over 2 yrs. ago. In fact I remember that I gave him my phone #, but it was many days before he called and he asked me out on a date right away...which was a great date. Sex happened soon after. Since then, it's been a mixture of him taking me out or just hanging out at each other's place. He's had a couple unexplained disappearances that lasted a month or 2. The last time was when I got a guy for a roommate. He made it pretty clear that it weirded him out. Didn't see or talk for a year. Now he's back and the roommate thing still weirds him out. As far as relationships, he doesn't talk about them a whole lot, or emotions; I've always known that he was engaged once and he still wants kids, but that's about it. I never once even thought about asking what it is he really wants from me. I figure a guy is just supposed to show you that. Nor have I said, "Look, this is what I want from a guy or a relationship".... In other words, there's been little communication about what we are exactly. When we're together we're pretty comfortable with affection like a couple would be. But FWB, booty call, I guess it was a little of everything.??
Jilly Bean Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 Oh OK. Gotcha. So, do you want more from this guy? Or any guy? I guess if this has been going on for years then its probably not going to morph into something more. Or, are you hoping that will happen? You just seem to post a lot about him, so I get the sense that your feelings are deeper than perhaps you let on.
Author LoveLace Posted December 26, 2007 Author Posted December 26, 2007 Oh OK. Gotcha. So, do you want more from this guy? Or any guy? I guess if this has been going on for years then its probably not going to morph into something more. Or, are you hoping that will happen? You just seem to post a lot about him, so I get the sense that your feelings are deeper than perhaps you let on. He he, well if you ask other Shackers, I generally post a lot about everything weather it means a lot or a little to me ...It's like having a diary with feedback. I know what I like about Dan: good manners/total gentleman when we're out; he always pays for everything; he's the type to lay his jacket over a puddle so you can walk over it. I like that he's a "free spirit" kind of person; I do want a boyfriend; but if he can't live up to what I need, I'll latch on to the 1st thing I find that's better. He's a little on the "wild" side...don't know if mom & dad would like him...what I don't like is the way he freaks out the second we start getting to know each other better. Or, if we make future plans for something, he acts very excited at the time, then freaks out and runs. A couple weeks ago he mentioned future plans (as in a future date), but I wasn't very enthused because of his history. I guess he picked up on it, cuz after that he suddenly drew back, no he's moving in again, he's like a darn rubber-band! I haven't thought much about a long-term future with him...I just always had the absolute most fun with him and went with that only.
Trialbyfire Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 I have to tease you about this. I swear you're hooked on drama, in your relationships. Yes, the highs can be amazing but the lows? Are they worthwhile? Don't you want an emotionally mature man to have a real, meaningful relationship with? I can relate, so this is coming from personal insight.
Author LoveLace Posted December 26, 2007 Author Posted December 26, 2007 I have to tease you about this. I swear you're hooked on drama, in your relationships. Yes, the highs can be amazing but the lows? Are they worthwhile? Don't you want an emotionally mature man to have a real, meaningful relationship with? I can relate, so this is coming from personal insight. To tell you the truth I used fantasize about being in a soap opera when I was a kid HA HA HA The lows aren't worthwhile when I'm left alone at home on a Saturday night going, well I would have a date tonight, except Dan's in invisible mode right now, gee if only he'd warn me in advance so i could line up another date.... I'd love nothing more than to have a date for New Years Eve. But no such luck. Dan's the only single guy I know right now; less I can come up with something over the weekend
Jilly Bean Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 LL - if he continually pulls away anytime you make plans in advance or get even remotely close, wouldn't it be safe to say that this is not going to get better, and he won't be catapulting into BF mode or more than that? Trust me - there are many men (and women) out there, that should be walking around with expiration dates glowing on their foreheads like a carton of soured milk, but even without this, aren't the signs kind of clear? So, rather than hoping for a NYE date with him, how about throwing an ad up on craiglist or plentyoffish or something, and fetch yourself a new dude for the new year!
Author LoveLace Posted December 26, 2007 Author Posted December 26, 2007 Exactly, that's why I dont want to call him back right now! Hopefully I never will. Put ads up where? I don't have internet at home...Wah...here at work I'm restricted from those dating sites...I can't even believe it lets me come to LS...so yea don't think I'll pick up a NYE date that quick. BOO
Jilly Bean Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 How do you live without the internet at home, girl? I mean, what do you do for porn? lol Seriously, can you access craigslist from work? And if you don't have a date, I suggest you spend the evening volunteering in a homeless shelter that evening. It will bring you immeasurable joy and contentment. Even without a date...
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