SPELLBOUND Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 (edited) let me start off by saying that i was happily married for 6 years. been through alot of tough times, iraq, afgahnistan and so forth. when i got married, she weighed about 250. no problem for me, i didnt see anything wrong with her. she wanted gastric bypass, and got it. down to about 122... so earlier this year, we started having major issues. it started with me not finding my cell phone bill. she accused me of having an affair with one of my co workers who is my partner and my supervisor(not my type).<im a cop now> i denied it, because it never happened. she wouldnt let me explain it or let it die. on and on for two weeks. i also was under alot of stress from work, not the job, but the pay, the drive, etc. she also really didnt want to improve herself, i felt like. education, a better job, etc. i finally had enough, i moved out and was contemplating divorce. i told her that it seemed that maybe i was keeping her from her goals in life and that if she thought that i would leave her for someone else, then we should be apart and i should find that person. she quickly filed for divorce, and i was served papers. i came back to the house to sign a waiver to appear in court, because we have no children or real property, to find her in bed with another man, unknown to me at the time. i actually was going to tell her that we should seek help and work it out. but after i walked in my decision was made. thios was about jan 07. we divorced in march, and both moved on. she has since been involved with a guy, a younger guy, and i has fell for him. i have been the loner, working and working. we stayed friends, even though i saw what i saw this month, dec... . her bf went away to the air force boot camp for 6 weeks 2 weeks ago and we started interacting. we went out, and talked for a long time. wwe spoke about the breakup, which actually was stupid on both our parts. the guy in her bed was her childhood friend who was comforting her when i moved out. she realized that the numbers were from my partner. so it is understood that we made a grave mistake...... i feel that we can make it work, and i know she loves me still, but im afraid that she feels differently. she stated that she doesnt want to be put in the same situation as last time with me.<the divorce> i know she also loves this guy and i feel guilty that i backdoored him when he was away. . i dont want her to feel pressured to be with me if she is happy and all. what do i do? do i pursue her? she tells me that she doesnt know what she wants, because we each give her something that the other cannot.....i do not want to ruin her life or hurt her again..so do i wait for her to figure this out? she says that she is going to tell him when he gets home, which doesnt bother me, but what do i do?? on a side note, she has had a threesome with the new bf and his friend, which bothers me, because she was my wife, and was different in my eyes. she has become open sexually, she has had sex with the friend since the bf has left. it has been open conversation, from what she has told me that her bf said if you ever need anything to go by the friends house so he can take care of her<sexually> im disgusted. she was actually fine with the deal.... do i let her go?? help!!!!!!!!!!!!:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused: Edited December 26, 2007 by SPELLBOUND
Author SPELLBOUND Posted January 21, 2008 Author Posted January 21, 2008 wow still no help???? amazing
Author SPELLBOUND Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 Too much history. Go NC and move on. you were so right! i followed your advise and moved on and i feel 1000000000% better! thank you
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