zwh Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 (edited) Well first off I'll try and keep it as short as possible. This girl and I were never officially "together". We were close, I felt very close to her on a bf/gf level. We were also good friends. She made it clear to me that she had feelings for me too but wasn't ready for a relationship (with anyone) at the time. I took it pretty cool, being rejected and accepted at the same time. Thinks cooled down a bit, and then we started seeing each other frequently again. I didn't hide my attraction towards her, and she didn't hide hers towards me. She knew I cared about her, and she gave me the impression she cared for me too. Actually I was totally convinced she cared about me too. She did tons of little things that showed to me that she felt close to me. With a group of friends she and I always locked eyes, were physically close, always singled each other out (inside jokes) in group conversations. It was a fun feeling. About a month ago we ended up kissing/making out and that whole shebang. She made the move. This happened on more than one occasion for a few weeks. I was quite happy and she seemed pretty happy herself. One time she even got pretty emotional and "shaky" after we had been kissing and holding, she seemed sort of overwhelmed with happiness and was all giddy. At least that's the way it looked to me. She told me that had never happened to her before. Made me feel pretty good. Even after these events, she told me she still was not ready for a relationship. I was alright with it, and told her that I just love being around her and that's what mattered to me. Skip to the last time I hung out with her - Things were fine, I dropped her off at her home and she told me she'd call me in a few days to make plans to see each other again. This was how we normally did things. But I didn't hear from her. A week went by, nothing. I was bummed. I figured she was busy. I called once but no answer. A few days later I find out from a friend that she's recently suddenly got a NEW BOYFRIEND. I was pissed. She had looked me in the eyes and lied to me about not being ready for a relationship. 3 weeks after I last saw her, a friend and I ran into her at a video store. She speaks to my friend (also a friend of hers) and only says hi to me. Doesn't even make eye contact with me ONCE. She couldn't even look at me. I was pissed. I talked to a friend today who knew some things about her that I never knew. Apparently she's got a pretty shady past and can be described as a tease and rather promiscuous. News to me. Made more sense of things now though. It certainly changed my impression of her, but I couldn't/can't deny I did really feel for her. I spoke to her on the phone today (She didn't call me, she called our friend and after talking shortly handed the phone to me). I could tell she didn't want to speak to me. I asked her how she was doing and that I hadn't heard from her in a while. She asked if I was mad at her, and I told her that I had been wanting to talk to her. She basically gave me an "ok" and said she'd talk to me to later. I couldn't believe it. She totally didn't care to speak to me about things. Ok, so I know I had my emotions played by her. I'm pretty bitter towards her now. I did see some wonderful things in her as a person though, and I did have some caring feelings for her. No intentions of getting involved with her anymore. But now I almost feel sorry for her. She's a confused young girl and I just see her being taken advantage of so easily by someone. Some ******* guy or something. That just makes me sad, probably because I do care for her as a person. She doesn't seem to treat herself with the amount of respect she deserves. Am I wrong to feel this? I know the next time I see her I'm going to have a gaze of sadness (What might've been) sympathy and anger. All in one. Edited December 25, 2007 by zwh
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