JustPassingThru Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 Well, I've been dating a girl I've know for years for the last few weeks. I've had feeling for her for a while now and I guess she has too. Anyways, one thing led to another and we started dating. Everything has been great, I mean, absolutley perfect. We just click. Or so I thought.... Saturday night she calls me after work. She tells me she misses me and wants to see me. She wants to go out for a few drinks and hang out. Obviously I agree, but she has to run a few errands first. Okay, that's fine with me... I end up waiting for 2 hours without a call or anything. Thinking it's kinda weird, I try calling her. No answer. I send a text no answer. Whatever, so I went to sleep. Next morning, still no call back.... So I try calling once, no answer. Send a text, no response.... Nothing all day yesterday. Same thing with today, I haven't tried calling, in hopes that she would call me. But again, nothing. How does it go from her constantly calling and texting me, to just straight ignoring me? I'm so confused....
EYECANDY000 Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 I wouldnt jump the gun so quick.. Although it does seems really inconsiderate of her to not call or text anything could have happened.... Thats one thing I have learned not to do.. If someone makes plans and they dont call or text.. And I dont hear anything from them the next day... my next message is please just let me know that you are ok.. im worried about you.. Even if you dont feel like talking just let me know everything is alright..
Author JustPassingThru Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 Yea, I figured i was kind of jumping the gun. But it's just not like her to do something like that. I mean, I know she's okay. I talked to her friend yesterday. I just don't get it. I'm still wondering if I should try calling again, or just wait it out until she calls me, if that ever happens. I don't want to bug her, but I also hate being left in the dark.
D-Lish Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 Nope- don't call again. She got the messages- she got your texts. It's up to her to call you. For whatever reason, she isn't calling you back at the moment- calling her a bunch of times isn't going to change anything, it may make things worse. It's your cue to step back. If it's just space she is wanting- maybe experiencing cold feet... then calling will push her further away. Leave it alone until she calls you. Trust me on that one.... no matter how much you want to call- You SHOULD NOT.
Author JustPassingThru Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 I appreciate the advice. Thank you. Looks like I'll just wait it out. So much for a Merry Christmas....
Myz_Heavenly Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 I have had the same thing happen to me in a relationship where I knew the guy for a decade and we both finally let our feelings out and started the dating thing. His rationalization for igging me was that he was living away from me and his family and he wanted to see if he could handle it b/c he knew he would be going overseas soon. I called him for a month nearly everyday b/c i was truly concerned about him and I would be around his sisters or brothers and hear them talking about how they had just talked to him and he never responded to my calls/texts until 5 months later. I don't know why your lady would do such a thing, but I do know the feeling. Wait it out if you like, but don't wait so long you end up looking and feeling like a fool like I did...it's not a good feeling, trust me.
Legend Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 Nope- don't call again. She got the messages- she got your texts. It's up to her to call you. For whatever reason, she isn't calling you back at the moment- calling her a bunch of times isn't going to change anything, it may make things worse. It's your cue to step back. If it's just space she is wanting- maybe experiencing cold feet... then calling will push her further away. Leave it alone until she calls you. Trust me on that one.... no matter how much you want to call- You SHOULD NOT. I agree with D-lish. Don't call again, it's time to play the dreaded waiting game........stupid games..
Legend Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 If it makes you feel any better, My xmas date blew me off too
EYECANDY000 Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 I appreciate the advice. Thank you. Looks like I'll just wait it out. So much for a Merry Christmas.... Just passing through heres a hug !! Merry Xmas \0/
D-Lish Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 Hey, people are complicated. WHo knows why they do the things they do or what is going on in their heads. I have spent some time with people in the past and things seemed to be awesome and then they go missing in action. I have also gone out with someone a few times, decided I didn't want to proceed and walked away without calling back. I have learned by how it makes me feel to be honest with people now. Even if it's via text saying I am not interested. If she is just having cold feet- she'll figure it out and call. Sorry you have to wait it out. Keep yourself busy, enjoy your holidays with your friends and family. If there are any events or gatherings going on- get out there- who knows what opportunities you may miss staying in! If you guys have mutual friends- word will get back to you as to the reason at some point. I hope you hear back. When you get the urge to text- and you will- come and post here instead. That is what I do. I am going throught the same thing right now- wanting to reach out but knowing I can't.
Author JustPassingThru Posted December 25, 2007 Author Posted December 25, 2007 I really appreciate all the advice. This whole ordeal has really thrown me for a loop. Anyways...I was out enjoying myself this evening, visiting with old friends and what not, when I recieved a text. It was her, telling me she was sorry but she was feeling freaked out by the pace at which things were moving and she needed time to think. She told me it wasn't because she didn't care for me, because she does. And she was very sorry for ignoring me. I didn't reply, waited a few hours, and recieved another message, saying she hoped I wouldn't ignore her, but she isn't ready for everything at once. But she likes me Again, I didn't respond. So she sent me another message. It said she sill wants to hang out and talk to me, and hopes I don't hate her. She told me she likes me and to have a Merry Christmas.... Wow... some chicks are nuts. I still haven't responded, and I want to. I just need to sleep on things and figure out how the heck I'm going to approach the situation. She's obviously confused and scared to get hurt. It's understandable. I guess only time will tell. Merry Christmas
Krytie TV Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 Nicely played on the received texts OP. Well done.
D-Lish Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 so she reached out. You aren't responding. Now you are playing the game too. Do you want to play the game?
Krytie TV Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 I disagree. The girl flaked on him. What's wrong with him waiting until tomorrow to sort it out? Doesn't he deserve one day to work it out considering her actions?
Legend Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 games games games. No one deserves anytime. if you like each other, just tell each other, text , e-mail, or *gasp* pick up the phone and call. why wait? it could be the last day of earth and you'd never know...
Krytie TV Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 So he should jump back to her like a puppy. That's what should hapen here? Hardly.
Author JustPassingThru Posted December 25, 2007 Author Posted December 25, 2007 I'm not playing any games. I just didn't want to respond right away with what I would have originally said, being as how I was still bitter. I'm a firm believer in sleeping on difficult situations and settling them when the time is right. Last night was not the time, plus I was a little drunk. Anyway!!! I sent her a text this morning. As much as I wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine, I know how ****ty it tastes so I didn't. I basically let her know I understood where she was coming from, and that I was scared too. It's expected. I also let her know that I care for her and respect whatever decision she makes. Really, that's all you can do. No sense in getting all bent out of shape. Wished her a Merry Christmas, and told her she could contact me when she felt ready. I feel much better actually knowing what's happening, rather than just guessing. I'm trying to stay optimistic about all this, because I really want things to progress.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 I dont think he is playing games at all. she needs to realize what she did was morally wrong, and just apologizing doesnt always solve the problem so quick.. Since she is so confused then she will realize what she really wants , since she cant respond so well to common sense. Tomorrow Im sure she will apologize and say she will never do it again and she will make sure to at least put the effort in callig or texting before just completely blowing you off
Jilly Bean Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 I'm not playing any games. I just didn't want to respond right away with what I would have originally said, being as how I was still bitter. I'm a firm believer in sleeping on difficult situations and settling them when the time is right. Last night was not the time, plus I was a little drunk. Anyway!!! I sent her a text this morning. As much as I wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine, I know how ****ty it tastes so I didn't. I basically let her know I understood where she was coming from, and that I was scared too. It's expected. I also let her know that I care for her and respect whatever decision she makes. Really, that's all you can do. No sense in getting all bent out of shape. Wished her a Merry Christmas, and told her she could contact me when she felt ready. I feel much better actually knowing what's happening, rather than just guessing. I'm trying to stay optimistic about all this, because I really want things to progress. I applaud you for not knee-jerking, and waiting until sober to respond. Even in your angered state. Shows a lot of restraint and maturity on your part! I think you handled it really well, and if she doesn't come back, then what a great rehearsal this was for someone more appropriate. WELL DONE!
spookie Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 I'm not playing any games. I just didn't want to respond right away with what I would have originally said, being as how I was still bitter. I'm a firm believer in sleeping on difficult situations and settling them when the time is right. Last night was not the time, plus I was a little drunk. Anyway!!! I sent her a text this morning. As much as I wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine, I know how ****ty it tastes so I didn't. I basically let her know I understood where she was coming from, and that I was scared too. It's expected. I also let her know that I care for her and respect whatever decision she makes. Really, that's all you can do. No sense in getting all bent out of shape. Wished her a Merry Christmas, and told her she could contact me when she felt ready. I feel much better actually knowing what's happening, rather than just guessing. I'm trying to stay optimistic about all this, because I really want things to progress. I am impressed with the way you handled things. Not many people on here would have been capable of such a healthy reaction. I hope everything works out for the two of you!
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