a little --any will !

[kris99tin]

[FONT=&quot]Thanks for anyone who reads this.. I’m 20 years old. I have been dating this guy on and off for about 6 months. He was my boyfriend for about a week. We broke up over something silly and did not talk for about month. I still had feelings for him but I did not think we were going to get back. I decided to give him a call, not thinking it would turn into anything again, but just trying to make things ok between us because I hate being in fights with anyone, especially people I care about. Anyway, we started hanging out again and I’m still “seeing” him now. He did ask me to be his girlfriend, I said I wasn’t sure because of how things went before. About a month ago, he told me he was in love with me. Normally, he calls me a lot, tells me he misses me, asks me to come over, and always wants to hang out. But.. these past couple of days I’ve been getting a different vibe and it’s bothering me a lot. The reason I’ve been getting this vibe is because the other night he told me to call him, I did. He didn’t answer, which is fine, I don’t care about that. Around 8:00 I called again, in case he didn’t know I had called. No answer again. He told me he was going out that night, so I didn’t really think anything of it. I went out too, but he did not call me all night. And he normally does. The next day I didn’t get a call all day either. I decided to call again just to see what was going on. Someone told me he wasn’t there. Ok. So maybe he was out. A few hours later he calls me and I’m out with my friends so he says to call later. I call him and ask if I could come see him since we hadn’t hung out all week because of our schedules. Now normally, he would ask me to come over but he didn’t. I go over and he says he’s tired. Now I know he was out the night before til late so he probably was just tired. But I was just getting a vibe that he wasn’t trying to hang out with me and he either felt guilty about something or just doesn’t have the feelings for me anymore. I asked him what time he got home the night before, and he responds by saying he didn’t come home the night before without telling me what he did. He’s not my boyfriend, but he has made it pretty clear to me before that he doesn’t go around with other girls. He wasn’t talking to me like usual and he wasn’t even hugging me or being like himself around me. We don’t have sex and part of me feels that there is no way he has not had sex at all since we started talking again. I find it hard to believe. He tells me its ok with him but I still question it. I want to trust him but the vibe I was getting was making me worry. Am I overreacting about this? When I left, he hardly said bye and didn’t say I’ll call you later or anything. I just want to see if he’ll call. If not, should I call him? I care about him a lot. More than anyone I have dated before. And the last thing I want is to stop talking to him but I also do not want to bug someone who does not have feelings for me to keep talking to me. I’m confused and a little hurt right now. Any advice would help. Thanks![/FONT]

[Legend]

Hi & welcome.

 

He's definitely acting strange. This could be accompanied by many different situations.

He could have found a new girl, and be focusing his energy on her. The way you make it sound, is as if he constantly chased you, calling you, etc, without much reciprocation. This will often lead to loss of interest.

 

Try to do stuff with him for the next week, show more interest, call him, etc. If that doesn't change anything, then it's probably time to move on.

 

In the future, if you could break down your paragraph into smaller ones, it'd make it easier to read

 

Best of luck & Happy holidays

[kris99tin]

Thanks for responding.

 

I hope he didn't find another girl, but I'm thinking you are most likely right. Friday, he called a few times all day, I called back, he didn't answer. He went out, still no call. The next day, still no call. I call, then he calls back few hours later. And when we hung out, we barely talked. But I mean, I'd appreciate it if he did find someone new, to let me know that we're done and not just drag me along.

 

And... I don't see it like he was chasing me at all. I loved when he called me. And I THOUGHT he knew that. He did always joke around and claim that he doesn't think I like him. But I thought he knew how much I did. I mean, I have him how strong my feelings are for him.

 

I want to keep calling him so much. But am I bothering him by doing that? He tells me he's in love with me....so shouldn't that mean hes would want to talk to me? I don't know, I probably exaggerating and thinking into this situation way too much.

 

But I hope this is an easier read =)

[Legend]

Thanks for responding.

 

I hope he didn't find another girl, but I'm thinking you are most likely right. Friday, he called a few times all day, I called back, he didn't answer. He went out, still no call. The next day, still no call. I call, then he calls back few hours later. And when we hung out, we barely talked. But I mean, I'd appreciate it if he did find someone new, to let me know that we're done and not just drag me along.

 

Both men and women are brought up to not try to hurt each other. So sometimes instead of being honest with one another, we go silent and don't clue the other person in as to what's going on.

 

And... I don't see it like he was chasing me at all. I loved when he called me. And I THOUGHT he knew that. He did always joke around and claim that he doesn't think I like him. But I thought he knew how much I did. I mean, I have him how strong my feelings are for him.

 

If he joked around claiming you didn't like him, he's trying to say something. We as people say a lot of truth when we're just 'joking' around. He could just also be extremely insecure, not like himself, and that makes it hard to accept that other people like him.

 

I want to keep calling him so much. But am I bothering him by doing that? He tells me he's in love with me....so shouldn't that mean hes would want to talk to me? I don't know, I probably exaggerating and thinking into this situation way too much.

 

But I hope this is an easier read =)

 

 

If he genuinely likes you, I don't think you'd be bothering him. I know if I really like a girl, I love it when she calls... (an appropriate amount of course) But it sounds like he's at a point where he wants you to show that you're very interested in him. Again, his insecurities can be playing into this. It's perfectly normal to over analyze.

 

You could ask him flat out what his deal is lately, and you'll more than likely get a straight answer.

 

Thanks! Much easier to read!

[kris99tin]

I guess I'll just give it today to see if he decides to call me at all. It's Christmas Eve and I'll be out for the rest of the night anyway. If he doesn't, which I don't think he will considering the way he has been acting lately, then I guess I'll call tomorrow to say Merry Christmas and see if he acts the same. If he does, I'll just ask him to give me a call if he feels like it later on... Does that sound alright?

 

The last thing I want to do is cause drama over Christmas. But I also don't want him to keep ignoring me like this either!!!

[Legend]

Understandable. I wouldn't say 'give me a call if he feels like it later' that's just leaving yourself open to get hurt. Be definitive, tell him to call you later and say you guys need to talk, because in all honesty, you really do. This isn't working for you obviously, and you need to tell that to him.

 

I couldn't think of a better Christmas without drama

[kris99tin]

he finally called me at 9 in the morning on christmas. he wished me a merry christmas and we talked for about 5 mins. he had waken me up but i was so happy i didnt even care. anyway , he said hed call me later. i didnt stress it all day, i was just glad he called finally.

 

then he called again around 10 at night. we talked for a little. he was over his friends house, drinking. he doesn't do that a whole lot, but when he does, i dont really like it. i never get on his case about it though. anyway, he was acting kind of crazy, probably cause he was around his friends. he told me he was going home soon, so of course, i waited for him to call back. around 1230, he finally called again , and was still out with his friends, claiming they were "getting into trouble." now i'm just worried and cannot sleep at all, since hes supposed to call me back when he gets home and still hasn't at 230 in the morning.

 

now i know he was drunk when he talked to me, but he was saying stuff like how he never dates girls like me and how im "weird". i responded by saying "what do you mean girls like me? what are girls like me like?" he was just like "well talk later." and was saying things like how i stress him out and he hates me and stuff. i know he doesnt hate me. he says that im "complicated" and hates that im like that. even though hes drunk, the truth tends to come out when your drunk, and im scared that he probably does really feel that way. he even was said to me "im taking this girl here out to dinner right now. is that ok with you? youre not my girlfriend." (not that he was, it was 12 at night. but the fact that he said that makes me sick to my stomach)

 

why is he doing this? im not his girlfriend. but he tells me he loves me. i am very in love with him. im the 1st person to admit that i don't express my feelings too well. but i try so hard to tell him how i feel. and i have told him that i love him. it hurts so much to hear him say these things , and to know that he doesnt want to talk to me anymore....even if he has said it when hes drunk. i felt like we needed to talk before because things weren't going the way i wanted them to go.

 

i hate feeling like this...like my whole body feels completely numb. i want more than anything for things to go back to normal. i feel as though i can never have strong feeling for someone like this ever again. i cant lose him! please someone tell me what to do here. im sitting here worried about him. hes out with his friend at almost 3 in the morning. i heard them all get in a car when i was on the phone with him, which was about almost 3 hours ago. why is he doing this ? im so worried i feel nauseous and cannot sleep . i just called his house and let the phone ring a couple times but no one answered. and i really cant go to sleep until i hear from him!

[kris99tin]

can someone please give me advice?

 

this guy is seriously stressing me out so much and i cant take it any more! i don't ever stress over guys this much and I hate that I'm like this! He's playing horrible mind games with me and I hate these games!

 

if anyone read my last post, he did finally call back at 3am. I answer, and he tells me he just got home. He said he was just over his friends. I don't know. I asked if he was serious about what he said before and he said that he wasn't. So I dont know what to think.

 

Anyway, he called me tonight. He was saying things like how I don't care about him again. I tell him thats ridiculous. He tells me how he's going out to dinner with this girl on saturday. and says "dont get so jealous" before I even said anything. I can't tell if he's messing around with me or telling me the truth. Like I know he is not my boyfriend but why do guys play such mind games? I hate them games! Does he really think I don't care about him?? I'm SOOO confused right now. Does he like me or not? Why is he doing this to me? What's he want me to do? I don't know how to prove to him how i feel. I never come right out with my feelings. I'm a very laid back person. Is that why he thinks I "dont care about him?" I really do care about him a lot and I don't want to lose him!

 

Another thing, if I say how it bothers me when he says things about other girls, he says how I'm not his girlfriend. But yet, when I dont let it show that it bothers me, I dont care about him any more. WHATS HE WANT ME TO DO!?!?

[child_of_isis]

He has his sights on other 'things'. But he wants to keep you in the background in case they don't work out.

 

Dump this loser. Go NC. He is not worth your time.