niceguy27 Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 So my bday was Saturday and I had my phone turned off most of the day. I was working and didnt want to be bothered by calls. I turned it on in the afternoon and lo and behold a nice and awkward sounding voicemail from my ex: "I wanted to tell you have a great bday...heading into work...it would be nice to hear from you today...I dont know what you're doing but I hope you have fun..." You could tell from the vm that she was nervous and repeated herself a few times. WTH is up with her? Just last week she had told me that it would be a bad idea for us to hang out just the two of us. We have both accepted things as they are and have met a few times every month to catch up and hang out. Then last week she told me that its causing too much "stress" with her and the new guy. I kind of laughed and explained to her that when we do go out I never try anything or say anything about us. We just hang out and catch up. I thought the whole thing stupid but you know what?? I handled this break up pretty damn good I think. And I told her that. If SHE cant handle us hanging out then fine. At least I dont have to wonder if I did everything I could to keep things open with us. So why the hel* would she CALL me and say "It would be nice to hear from you today." AFTER she told ME that we should only keep in touch through email for a little while. btw I never returned her call...
Confused9 Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 UGH! Who knows why they do these things. Perhaps she missed you, perhaps she just wanted to say happy birthday, perhaps she is a nut? HA! It sounds like she has moved on but not completely? I don't know. I know my X he told me to leave him alone, lose his number, etc etc and has a relationship with the OW after breaking up with me and treating me like crap text messaged me the other day saying, happy holidays to you and your family. This kid treated me like I had just killed his favorite family pet, laughed about it, ran him over, shot his grandma, cheated on him, ruined his reputation (I didn't do any of these things just trying to pant a picture here!!!) He told him to leave me alone and now he is texting me? I dind't respond either. I thought it was guilt, regret, etc. but what do I know? I also thought he loved me and would never cheat on me. I also thought we were getting married in 08'. But, I was wrong! So..I guess I have no answer for you. I am glad you didn't call her back. It sounds like she has already moved on...why is she trying to leave you in limbo? Maybe she misses you but the new person won't allow her to talk to you and that makes her sad so she called you? I don't know. I would just leave it alone. If she wanted to be with you...she would. Trying to analyze their actions is pointless because at the end of the day...we are still alone and they are wtih someone else. Just be thankful she means enough to you to say happy birthday. But, leave it at that. I don't even know if this post makes sense. : ) PS happy birthday!
Author niceguy27 Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 Thanks. We had had limited conact up until that point (4 months since the split) and had gotten together a few times to hang out. Every time we would meet we would talk and talk about all kinds of things. Just like old times. Apparantly the last time we met up the new guy almost "called it off" with her over hanging out with me. She told me she doesnt want to have to sneak around behind his back (one trait I admire about her is she is not one to cheat or be a sneak with anyone). Your right about her wanting to be with me. If she did, she would. I dont think she sees it as doing anything wrong. I cant understand why because she knows exactly how I feel and yet she tells me one thing and does another. What about Christmas? The last time we talked she said it was going to be real weird this year because were not together. Ive been so busy at work that I am trying my best to just blow through the holidays like they dont exist. But come tonight while at midnight mass I know that Im going to think back to last year and how badly she wanted to just stay home on Christmas morning and spend the day together So its going to take all the strength I can muster to NOT call or txt her tomorrow or later tonight. God...Im getting choked up writing this now! Good lord!
Confused9 Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 Trust me, I understand about the holidays. I spent every holiday with him for 7 years!!! I think back of last Christmas having no idea it would be our last. Heck, I thought this Christmas would be our last Christmas as an engaged couple. Next year I was going to be preggo. Things change. Who knows how or why but they do. I am just wishing and hoping these next few weeks FLY BY. I don't want to celebrate, but I know I need to. Just surround yourself with people who you love. Try and take those thoughts and be glad that you had her last Christmas, but excited for what you may have next Christmas or the Christmas after that. I am sure it is going to be wierd for her to not have you this year, but obviously...it isn't too hard for her to bare or else she would be with you (sorry if this is harsh but I am writing this for myself as well.) Just know that there is something/someone out there who will make all your Christmas' special. She just wasn't it. I know right now you don't feel ready or willing to comprehend that, but in due time I think we might. I wish you strenght during this holiday season. I know it's almost unbearable. But, you'll get through. And be stronger!!! Good luck!
Author niceguy27 Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 Thanks for the understanding. My bday was a lot of fun. I have been spending a lot of time with a good friend of mine and she spent the night with me after partying all night. Nothing happened...lots of flirting and stuff but it was nice to not have my ex on my mind that night. So at least I do have my family to spend time with this year as last year we had to juggle both our familys parties. Thanks again and have good Christmas!
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