shockandawed Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 OK Lexi, I am taking back the troll part as I re-read both threads again. But I am still curious. Two weeks ago, you were posting about dating and stated that you had no feelings whatsoever for any of your recent exes. Obviously this guy you just re-united with is one of them. So help me out here, two weeks ago you have no feelings for someone. In that short period, you have re-united, developed your feelings to the point you are obsessed with him spending as much on you for Christmas as he does for his kids and parents?
Author lexi29 Posted December 27, 2007 Author Posted December 27, 2007 OK Lexi, I am taking back the troll part as I re-read both threads again. But I am still curious. Two weeks ago, you were posting about dating and stated that you had no feelings whatsoever for any of your recent exes. Obviously this guy you just re-united with is one of them. So help me out here, two weeks ago you have no feelings for someone. In that short period, you have re-united, developed your feelings to the point you are obsessed with him spending as much on you for Christmas as he does for his kids and parents? As I stated in several of my posts we very recently got back together. The post I made with the question about would you date someone who was still friends with their exes- I was NOT including my current bf as one of the exes I am close to. If we had stayed broken up, no he would not be an ex I would remain friends with. It was a painful break up and maybe in time we would have become friends again but as it stood there was no way I was going to jump into being friends with him again. The exes I was talking about were ones from my past- several years ago. those are the two I am close to (friends with) IF my current bf and I had not reunited and tried to work things out as we are then I doubt I would be friends with him as it would be too painful. As for me being obsessed with him spending a lot of money on me (Or as much as on his son and his parents (by the way he spent $2 on his parents- he bought them a $2 picture frame and gave them a picture of him and his son that I took and paid for) I didn't expect him to spend as much on me as his son I just wanted to see some effort (whether that effort was actually saving the money for a gift) put into it. I suggested to him that he could just get a card or make one and write something sweet/nice in it which costs nothing. The part that bugged/hurt me was that he just waited to see how much money he had left over and was going to buy something with that for me. Didnt' seem like he was putting much thought into that and that hurt after all I've done for him (helping him with his son and buying his son presents so he would have more from Santa, buying them groceries etc) Also the fact that we just got back together and are trying to work things out and I feel that he needs to put EFFORT into everything to prove that he wants this to work and is sorry for what he did. The wound is still fresh if that makes any sense.
blind_otter Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 If you very recently got back together then you shouldn't expect any Christmas presents at all. Consider this a new relationship.
Author lexi29 Posted December 27, 2007 Author Posted December 27, 2007 Well we dated for 3 yrs so we dont' consider it a new relationship and even when I"ve only dated a guy for a month we've exchanged gifts for Christmas. I consider it a fresh start, not a new relationship and I only posted an update on here because I wanted to let everyone know how I suprised him and how happy he was with his gift.
spookie Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 I dunno. Maybe I'm a selfish bt!ch too but to me is sounds like your bf is immature, irresponsible, and attempting to take advantage of you. If that's going too far, I'd at least have to say that you are NOT on equal footing in this relationship (you are giving way way more, and I don't mean just financially) and I wonder why you stick around. I think you mentioned money so much for poeple to get a gist of all you do financially for him (buy his son s!ht he can pretend is from him, for example) that he DOESN'T do in return for you. But I think what you're really pissed about is the total lack of consideration he shows you. I mean, a $25 gift card for a resturaunt you don't eat at and would probably end up taking him anyway and an empty card with a naked guy on the cover? I got a gift like that last year from my landlord, whom I'd never met =(. I understand that Xmas means nothing to a lot of people, but it doens't sound like he's one of them. It sounds like his son is #1, which of course I agree with, that he is #2, but that you don't even make the list. That you're only around cause it's convenient. This isn't the first post by you that I've read, and though I don't remember the specifics of your other threads, I remember thinking WTF is she doing with this selfish irresponsible @$$hole. So I dunno. I'm probably off on this since everyone else is having a field day calling you a spoiled brat, but that's my .02.
cutegirl Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 (edited) Last year my EX bf got me a can of coconut juice from 7-11 on the way to my place as a Xmas present. When I was like WTF he got mad, he said "It was hard to get this coconut juice for you. Do you know how much traffic there was?" etc Coconut can probably cost $1.50 But of course I always ended up spending thousands and thousands on him throughout the year on various gifts that he asked for and payed for his credit card bills, cell bills, never asked him for rent (he couldn't pay anyways). I never got a birthday gift or christmas gift from him. Edited December 27, 2007 by cutegirl
BlueEyedSarah Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 Would anyone be upset if their bf or gf didn't get them a nice christmas present? I don't ask for presants from boyfriends - I don't get upset if they don't give me anything. If there was something I wanted them to buy I would let them know. My boyfriends in the past have suprised me on non giving presant holidays which is what I prefere . I like these set holidays to be spending with family as a family rather than giving and receiving presants - you can do that any other time of the year when its more of a suprise.
Keara Posted December 27, 2007 Posted December 27, 2007 She isn't selfish. What a crock o' crap the load of you are throwing around about her being selfish. They broke up after 3 years of dating. The holiday comes where we're all supposed to show those we care about how grateful we are to have them in our lives and this schmuck couldn't give a crap less about her. Except for what she can do for him. I didn't hear one iota of gratitude from him about her helping him with his sons presents. There was no mention of how he willingly offered to pay her back in the future, or offered to do something for her that wouldn't cost money, or even offered up a simple "Thank you honey, this is really great that you're doing this for me and my son". Nothing. He dismissed what she told him she really wanted, and instead gave her something that showed no understanding of what she wanted or even why she wanted it. It's not about the gift he got her. This was about being in a relationship that was recently shaken very badly by a break up, about a partner who didn't listen to her wants and desires, and a partner who put very little effort into showing her he does want her in his life. He dropped the ball hard core, and you're all jumping on her because she's using the symbol of a 'gift' to represent her feelings of being used for her money, taken for granted, and ignored.
spookie Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 She isn't selfish. What a crock o' crap the load of you are throwing around about her being selfish. They broke up after 3 years of dating. The holiday comes where we're all supposed to show those we care about how grateful we are to have them in our lives and this schmuck couldn't give a crap less about her. Except for what she can do for him. I didn't hear one iota of gratitude from him about her helping him with his sons presents. There was no mention of how he willingly offered to pay her back in the future, or offered to do something for her that wouldn't cost money, or even offered up a simple "Thank you honey, this is really great that you're doing this for me and my son". Nothing. He dismissed what she told him she really wanted, and instead gave her something that showed no understanding of what she wanted or even why she wanted it. It's not about the gift he got her. This was about being in a relationship that was recently shaken very badly by a break up, about a partner who didn't listen to her wants and desires, and a partner who put very little effort into showing her he does want her in his life. He dropped the ball hard core, and you're all jumping on her because she's using the symbol of a 'gift' to represent her feelings of being used for her money, taken for granted, and ignored. Thank you. You stated more clearly what I meant with my post. Last year my EX bf got me a can of coconut juice from 7-11 on the way to my place as a Xmas present. When I was like WTF he got mad, he said "It was hard to get this coconut juice for you. Do you know how much traffic there was?" etc Coconut can probably cost $1.50 But of course I always ended up spending thousands and thousands on him throughout the year on various gifts that he asked for and payed for his credit card bills, cell bills, never asked him for rent (he couldn't pay anyways). I never got a birthday gift or christmas gift from him. I'm sorry but I don't think lexi should settle for her crap relationship just cause yours sucks more.
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