Trying to be optimistic about this girl but....

[xfess]

Long story short, but in the past 4 months, I’ve dated 5 girls and 4 of them ended after that date and the other one lasted a week so I’ve been very depressed lately about it.

 

 

Anyway I was emailed from this girl from an online personals 2 weeks ago wanting to get to know me. So I ended up talking to her, we exchanged email, MySpace profiles, and AIM SN’s. That 1st time we chatted on AIM was for over 6 hours getting to know each other. We continued to chat online throughout the week, she even IM me in the morning when she wakes up to say good morning to me. I wanted to make plans to meet up during the week for coffee and she said yes and gave me her #. Unfortunately some problems occurred during the week so we did not meet up. She called me on Wednesday to chat and we later talked online. I asked her on a date for this past Saturday and she said yes. So I made plans to go to a Comedy Club in Manhattan followed going to see the Rockefeller Christmas Tree – which she said she hasn’t seen since she was a kid. She actually asked me if we can go see the tree and I told her that I already planned it. She was really surprised.

So we went to the comedy club and had a great time, she had a couple of drinks in her and seemed more relaxed. As we left the club we went to get a taxi and at this point she had her arms wrapped around my arm. When we got in the taxi she rested her head on my shoulder then feeling tired from the drinks lied down and rested her head on my leg.

We went to the tree (which was very crowded at 11pm). We were holding hands and again she grabbed my arm as we walked around and we got our picture taken together in front of the tree. She thanked me for taking her out and we went to take a taxi back to the club where I had my car parked and again she rested her head on me the way back. We got in my car and drove back to her apartment which was actually 3 blocks from my house; she slept the whole ride back. As we got to her place I gave her a kiss on the cheek good night and she asked me to promise to contact her when I got home. I told her I live down the block but she said “I know but I just want to make sure”. I got home and texted her to let her know I got home. She replied back saying “Thank you and I had a great time”. I replied saying “Glad to hear it, BTW you looked very beautiful tonight if you don’t mind me asking”. On Sunday (yesterday) I checked out her myspace profile and she added those pictures from the Xmas tree including the picture of us together; she even wrote a message on it saying “thanks for taking me to see the tree”. I didn’t talk to her online until 1030pm because I didn’t want to bother her with constant chatting. By 1100 I had to leave for work but I asked her if she’d be interested in catching a movie on Christmas (her family doesn’t celebrate the holidays) and she wanted to go see PS I love you. She didn’t reply back to me via text message on my phone and felt a little disappointed, but I guess she was busy or was thinking it over, or maybe she’s not interested at all.

 

I was wondering if I maybe making plans for a movie too fast or does this plan to see a movie tomorrow seems like a good idea…. I like this girl and really don’t want to ruin it and start from scratch again with another girl. Any advice to help me out with this situation??

 

- Thank you and happy holidays

[Jilly Bean]

That's really strange. IMO, you did everything RIGHT except, perhaps, for a follow-up message the next day earlier than 11PM (but that wouldn't be enough to make me not want to see you again). Beyond that, the date sounded like it went well from your viewpoint, though her excessive drinking or narcolepsy is a little concerning (how much DID she drink?). I mean, how many dates have you had where the girl falls asleep at the end? That strikes me as really, really odd.

 

Anyhow, I wouldn't pursue her again at this point. The falling asleep from drinking is a big flag. She could be alcoholic... Or, she could be the type who can only handle one date with a guy... If she contacts you back, you can decide how to handle it then, but I wouldn't make further overtures.

 

[xfess]

Nah she wasnt excessively drinking, 2 beers and an apple martini, she wasnt stumbling around like a drunk or anything but we didnt get any food prior to the show so perhaps she didnt eat and the alcohol may have kicked in a little stronger. She didnt really show signs of being tired until we got in my car at around 12:30am (after 5 hours of hanging out), and fell asleep on the ride home.

 

She's still better than one of the girls I dated over a month ago. She went out binge drinking the night before our date and was still hung over on our date, she was "tired" and not feeling to good (gee, I wonder why?). that was the last time I heard from her

 

So, I asked her if she wanted to catch a movie on tuesday and she said she is going to a casino. I may have made a mistake by trying to asking her if she was interested in going out on the weekend - but I wanted to be a little asertive and let her know im interested in seeing her again - she replied back with:

"yea maybe ur asking me too early its only monday an im already cranky lol"

im trying to figure out if she meant - yea, maybe..... with an attitude or

yea maybe,......

[D-Lish]

The falling asleep thing is a little strange.... I agree.

 

I also think you did everything right.

It doesn't seem as if you were too anxious...which could scare someone away. It didn't seem like that though. If I liked someone I would enjoy it if they asked me for another date.

 

As I have learned and said countless times before- who ever knows what other people are thinking.

 

Just keep having dates- one of these times things will click....I promise you that. There are too many people in the world to think there is no one out there for us- hell, the odds are that there are many compatibale lovers for each and every one of us. Maybe wait 48 hours next time before contacting...? See if that works.

 

Even Corky from "Life Goes On" got married.

;-)

[xfess]

Thanks D-Lish

I didnt worry about her falling asleep. I thought it was kinda nice that she rested on my shoulder and in my lap - though I never had/expected a girl do that to me on a 1st date so it was a strange yet great reaction. I tried 210% to make her happy, and when she mentioned that she hasnt seen the tree since she was a kid and even said she hasnt been in the holiday spirit....I tried my best to get her in that mood by taking her to see it. Just to see her smile and feel like a kid again just made my day...I didnt expect "anything" at the end of the night - just to know that she was happy was all that mattered.

I went out to the bar with my friends tonight. I mentioned to them about my date and my plan for the 2nd date - they recommended to me to take it slow. she seemed like she had a great time so just slow it down and hopefully it will turn out ok....Its funny - in the past 48 hours Ive brought the Christmas spirit back to her while I on the other hand has lost it (its not because of her but a family problem that occured today that I did not want to mention to her)