randuff Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 I haven't spoken to her in a week now. The longest I have gone in 4 years without so much as a hi. I miss her so much and I still can't understand why. Even if she did want me back I would constantly obsess over her faithfulness anyways which would be just as bad as not being with her at all. I think I miss the intimacy and closeness. I miss having someone here beside me and hug. I miss lying down together watching television or just talking. I know that someday I will have this again with someone but the time til then seems unbearable. I don't know why I want someone who is in so many ways so wrong for me. Maybe because it is the Holidays and I am alone for the first time in over 12 years. I dunno but I hurt right now. I am sad and I don't feel like doing anything for myself or anyone else. *sigh* Things will get better one day, things WILL get better!
so_sad Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 I feel that way about my ex-fiance. I miss our times together so much, all the things you said - hanging out on the couch and talking. Getting into bed together at night. The everyday, nice things. But I know if he came back I would never trust him again. After all, he walked out on me and our life together with no warning and has been quite awful to me since then. It is such a terrible predicament, to love someone that you know can't make you happy (or no longer can). I think you're right about the time of year. Every time I hear a sappy christmas song (which happens about every five minutes) I want to scream. I just don't want to get out of bed. For the first time in my life I'm kind of looking forward to the holiday being over.
AriaIncognito Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 I haven't spoken to her in a week now. The longest I have gone in 4 years without so much as a hi. I miss her so much and I still can't understand why. Even if she did want me back I would constantly obsess over her faithfulness anyways which would be just as bad as not being with her at all. I think I miss the intimacy and closeness. I miss having someone here beside me and hug. I miss lying down together watching television or just talking. I know that someday I will have this again with someone but the time til then seems unbearable. I don't know why I want someone who is in so many ways so wrong for me. Maybe because it is the Holidays and I am alone for the first time in over 12 years. I dunno but I hurt right now. I am sad and I don't feel like doing anything for myself or anyone else. Randuff - I can totally understand where you're coming from. I often wonder why it is i'd want my ex back, when I'd never ever trust him not to cheat on me. But somehow, it's easier to focus on the past, which is known, than focus on what's unknown, the future. The future can be a scary thing. We don't know what will happen and don't feel in control. Only thing we can really control, is how we are reacting in the present. So, when you feel yourself getting down, try to change your course of thought. When you think of how great she was, immediately also remember that she can't be trusted and she hurt you. I think we have so many positive association to our exes (rose colored glasses and such) that we forget to make the negative ones once they are gone. These negative ones can be a big part of the healing process. The need to realize that if they were the one for us, they'd never have hurt us and would also be with us, regardless.
sedgwick Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 Today has been really tough for me too. I've cried more today than I have in weeks. I'm not sure why, but it just hit me again full force how terribly I miss him. *pops in a DVD, throws self down beside you on couch, and gives you a snuggle*
Author randuff Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 I think I do try to remember the past because I know it and the uncertainty of the future IS scary. WILL I find someone, WILL I get hurt again, WILL I be happy. The thing is is that we can control most of that. As long as we don;t dwell on the past so much. I guess one thing that has been bothering me lately is that I have info that proves she started her cheating way before I thought..... More reason to forget and move on.
Author randuff Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 *pops in a DVD, throws self down beside you on couch, and gives you a snuggle* I miss that more than most things
fabulousgal Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 randuff...big hug. its hard to have a void in your life where someone used to be. but remember not to let the void turn into idealizing that person. it didn't work for a reason, and that person walked away. save all that lovin you have for someone who isnt foolish enough to pass it up!
AriaIncognito Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 I hope today finds you feeling better, randuff. :-)
frd150 Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 I miss the little things also. How you doin today randuff? Ill have a coldie for you.
Author randuff Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 I was doing great til I got home from work and for some reason I couldn't help but wonder how she is and if she is thinking about me at all. Why ?? I really shouldn't give a F%^K! Oh well, I'll play some games online and not worry about it. Have a Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays (your choice) everyone!!!
GlamourBabe Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 Hi randuff, sending a big hug to you. Know how your feeling. xx
Crestfallen_KH Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 I'm with ya, Randuff. I've had several good days and now even a new friend to help me pass the time, and I've been a total crybaby all day. I've never been alone on Christmas Eve in all of my 33 years and it's really hitting me today. I'm seriously right there with ya. *hoists the rum and egg nog and takes a big gulp* Merry Christmas!
Freddy Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 I'm alone too. Looks like me, tv, food, budlight and computer. On second thought my dog is in the garage so I'm not alone after all.
frd150 Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 Yeah I can relate. I was at a small family gathering much different than the last couple of years with her family. The thoughts I used to have came back you know all the what is she doings,Is she thinking of me,is there another in my place(I have no evidence of that) but you cant help but wonder. Well were all here kinda. Merry Christmas guys.
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