haunting me everyday

[shady2pac]

I have been married for 20 years. have 2 kids. after a trip from her native country, my wife has been talking to another married man (he is working on building contract with her property) - beyond just business e.g. about her life, husband, kids etc..twice or thrice at odd hours behind her husbands back. She even set separate bank account and had her telephone bill to this person (international) on auto-withdrawl. this went on for 2 months+ and she was finally confronted by me. She said she did nothing to break fidelity and it was just pure friendship. However, it was discovered that she and this man (married with kids) did exchange words like I love you etc. which she claims was casual with no feelings behind it. I am devastated. Wife says she is very sorry but she had no ill will behind what she did. She says she loves me to death and will NEVER do anything to break their marriage. Need help and comments as to what I should do and what really happened or could have happened if my friend didnt discover. This man was never a friend to begin with, a pure business related acquaintance. Really need help asap Was she cheating and being infidel to me? What really happened? what should i do now? I am devastated and tormenting me everyday.

[whichwayisup]

She won't own up to the truth yet, right now she is still hiding stuff from you. The bottomline is, she is/was acting inappropriately, so you need to decide if she's worth fighting for - If you love her and want this marriage to work, then she needs to step up to the plate and tell you everything. She won't tell you a thing if she thinks you're going to kick her out and divorce her. She's deny until the cows come home at night..

 

You are right, this man is no friend. He is a cancer to your marriage and whatever it is that they've shared has to end NOW.

[Bryanp]

Clearly she is lying to you and you know this. If the roles were reversed what do you think she would be thinking?