Just_me43 Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 Hi, i posted on here a couple of weeks ago unsure if i should split up with my girlfriend of the time as we were having problems with her mothers drinking, her own drinking and then her constant texting and phoning other people. So i did break up with her about 10 days ago. Since she has been texting me saying how much she missed me etc, then started to say lets just be friends, so i agreed thinking it for the best. Then she told me about how she had been out three nights in a row and that these guys had been all over her and stuff yet im the only one for her, then i went to the pub with my friends and she was there with some of our friends. She was really excited to see me then kept going up to other lads talking then would come straight back to me, then would go back off and then come back and spent the rest of the night talking to me which was really awkward. Then as i was leaving this lad asked her for sex but she just laughed, then we went outside for a taxi and the doorman said il give you a call sometime to her, she explained they had exchanged numbers etc. I said to to her this is messing me up yes i split up with her but its had only been a few days and yet she was having guys all over her. But she explained it was my fault for spliting us up, that she is single, but again im the most gorgous man and that im the only one she wants. Then we both went to our own homes. Next day she asks me to go see her to exchange xmas cards which i do and we sit and watch tv for a while then i leave to go watch a friends band. Tonight i went around as she asked me to go see her and share a meal which i was unsure of doing but she said she had my xmas presents so id have to see her anyway. we sat ate and sat on the sofa, she kept hugging me calling baby etc. All the while shes getting text after text off at least 3 different guys, telling me shes had over 100 texts today as she counted them infront of me, compared to me only recieving 5 and all from her. Then she continues to hug etc, putting me in a bad mood. I left she gave me a huge hug before i went and that was it. But it has really messed me up, i wanted to move on, but i do love her so much and really miss her she means so much to me, but when i think iv made a mistake i think of all the terrible stuff i put up with from her when we went out and i think shes messing with my heart again now with all the texts to others and then love to me. Im so confused and so upset i dont know what to think or do, please if anyone has any advice id love to hear it.
sedgwick Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 You dumped her. She can do whatever she wants. Good for her that she's getting on with her life!
Author Just_me43 Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 Yes i did split up with her but that was only because she was hurting me so much, but then when we've talked since and seen each other it seems as if we are still together except for any kissing, etc. We were together just over 2years, and i put up with so much through that time such as having to rush her mum to hospital after she fell down stairs drunk and cut her head open, having to call the police and ambulance out because my ex was abusive, violent and aggressive when she was drunk and nearly ended up in a cell for the night for having a go at an officer. As i said yes i did break up with her, but only because of the pain i was in, but now im without her i cant tell if im more unhappy than i was and she says i am the only one for her, but as i said in my initial post shes txting lots of lads and stuff yet still wanting attention from me. I don't know whats best for me, she still seems to want me but then again she doesnt. I dont know what i want either, i miss and love her so much, but she just seems so interested and loving the attention off other guys so quickly its not even been two weeks, i feel so heartbroken when shes telling me all these things. I didnt break up with her to get with anyone else i havent thought about it, but thats all she wants do now yet wants me too. so if anyone has been in a similar situation or has any advice please help. Thanks.
LakesideDream Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 Often people just aren't good for each other. Your ex, seems to be very happily sexing it up with any and all, and she's "putting it in your face" both to hurt you and to make you jealous. You broke up with her. Make it stick. Stop being a toy for her amusement.
D-Lish Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 You dumped her for a reason....right? It sounds like this sort of childish behavior is part of the reason. First of all- you need to remember that you are enabling this behavior. Why put yourself throught it? The bragging with regards to other men are obviously designed to get to you.... and lookie-lookie, it's getting to you! She's flirting with other men in front of you, bragging about texts and other men wanting to have sex with her. Not very mature...it's almost a little malicious. Having said that- YOU ARE ALLOWING ALL OF THIS TO TAKE PLACE. If you guys are broken up there is no grey area allowing for friendship at this point in time. You can't still have feelinsg for one another and "hang out" and discuss your dating lives. You have to stick to your guns. If she truly wants you back- she is going to have to make some major changes in her life right? She sure isn't doing that is she? Walk away, cut her off completely from any and all contact- you will never be able to heal or move on if you keep hanging around her and talking to her. If course you have feelings- it's natural. You also recognized that your relationship is unhealthy when you left her. Why stick around? It's time to let her go. You'll need a whole lot more time and space to get to that point where you can have a friendship with her. Now is not the time. Look after yourself. She is still making yu miserable- you have to take control and stop this from happening. remove yourself from the situation and stick to your guns.
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