a4a Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 C -I hope you love her enough to stand by her as long as she makes progress, but I hope you love yourself enough to walk away if need be. best thoughts to you.
Touche Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 Just wanted to wish you a Merry Xmas, Curm. I'm rooting for the best for you, whatever that turns out to be, in the coming new year.
Trialbyfire Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 Just wanted to wish you a Merry Xmas, Curm. I'm rooting for the best for you, whatever that turns out to be, in the coming new year. Moi aussi Monsieur. Joyeaux Noel!
Author Curmudgeon Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 Joyeux Noël à toi également mon ami. Hope I have that right. I'm rusty!
Author Curmudgeon Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 Merry Christmas to you and yours as well. Whatever happens happens and it will be for the best, however it plays out.
Author Curmudgeon Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 There is no desire to hurt either one of us but rather to help each of us, however that manifests itself.
Author Curmudgeon Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 El Curm, Like many of the ladies here, married and not, I have a crush on you and wish you only the best in all of this! You are an example of what my beloved (and older) H went through for many many years before divorcing his first wife. He put a great deal of effort into that marriage where he seemed to be the only one in it. There was just no reciprocal effort on the part of his first wife but much taking, and never giving. This went on for years...through counseling, mediation, therapists, the whole bit. And in his case they were not even the "best friends" back when as you and your wife, if I understood correctly, once were. I just do not see the point in continuing as a couple when the emotional sensitivity, the shared passions and the physical attraction are just not there, and all efforts to correct the loss of those things or save what remains of those things, have been exhausted. And I especially do not understand staying around for someone who has no self respect. That to me is a form of "betrayal" in a marriage. It says to the marriage partner, "I think so little of you that I do not care how I look, act, or take care of myself and you have to just live with that so there!". These are what I call "roomate marriages" and they just suck the lifeblood out of all human hope and belief in the beauty of the committed male-female relationship. Not to dampen the religious spirit of the times now, but really...Had you said you were tempted to have an affair I for one would have understood. It is perhaps never the "right" thing to do but in so many cases like this where a person is literally psychologically and physically starving to death in a marriage that isn't one anymore...I understand that. Merry Christmas, OE I'm flattered! I can't argue with anything you said. The fact that my wife and I were friends first weighs heavily on any decision I may make. However this all plays out I will always care what happens to her. That's where the friendship comes in. But I may not always love her since she's chosen, for whatever reason(s), to make herself unloveable. Not tempted! Quite the opposite. Want no other entanglements at this point in time, and I've never been one for indiscriminate, uncommitted, casual sex anyway. Did without for three years during the end of the last marriage and survived rather well. Imagine I can easily do so again if need be. "Roommate marriages" are certainly not high on my list of recommendations! Merry Christmas to you as well. I think this one will be pivotal!
2sunny Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 my good thoughts and hopes for you continue on every day C=Lion! Merry Christmas - let yourself enjoy the day!
Author Curmudgeon Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 my good thoughts and hopes for you continue on every day C=Lion! Merry Christmas - let yourself enjoy the day! Hope you and yours have a beautiful Christmas and the best possible New Year. You deserve it!
2sunny Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 i'm anxious to know how the holiday season went for you both...
Recommended Posts