just met her

[blueman]

So i am just getting back into the dating scene after breaking out of a 2 year relationship. I am 23 and this girl is 20 soon to be 21. we met online last week and have been talking almost every night online. Then about 3 days ago we exchanged #'s and talked that night on the phone for like 4 hours straight. we had agreed that i would go to her work on sunday as she is a server for a local restaurant and we would go back to her place after she got off to watch a movie. Well that was on thursday we agreed to that and on friday night she ended up inviting me over to her place because her roomate and her were having a small party. Went up got drunk with everyone and this girl and i ended up making out a bit at the party. That was friday night saturday came and i called her around 2 to say thanks for having me at her party and that i had fun and she was very reserved with me on the phone. I have not heard from her the rest of sat. night or at all so far today and im stuck on whether i should still show up as planned or not. Please someone chime in on why she hasnt tried to confirm our original plans.

[EYECANDY000]

Did it seems awkward or did anything happen at the party?

[blueman]

no we just were very touch feely with each other and we made out a couple times and she was sitting on my lap in front of all her friends for a while as well. I also got a call from her at like 4am that same night of the party after id left and when i asked her the next day about it she said she was calling to "hang out". To be honest i just dont want to push it or seem overly anxious so im debating just doing NC for a few days

[Jilly Bean]

She was calling you at 4AM to "hang out"? Is that not a booty call, hon?

[Legend]

Show up as planned. Stop over thinking, be a man about it!

[blueman]

well i sent her a text message asking if things were still on for tonight and this is what i get sent almost immidiately after, "Honestly i'm extremely hungover and i have to work and i just found out that we are having christmas eve breakfast at my moms tomorrow so i kinda just wanna sleep after work" i replied with just ok and nothing since. Im getting the feeling that she said that as an excuse to get out of it but at this point im not sure how to play this out and fyi to all the readers im not scared to go "for it" and i dont like to play games but seriously sometimes girls can be so shady.

[Jilly Bean]

Um, it's time to move on.

 

If someone cancels plans with you, and doesn't offer an alternative, then they are not interested.

 

Sorry...

[johan]

This is flaky young girl behavior. It's not the last time it will happen to you. She's probably not to be relied upon anyway. You handled it ok.

[blueman]

wow well that sucks lol so is there a general consensus that i should just ignore if she calls or texts from here on out?

[Legend]

well i sent her a text message asking if things were still on for tonight and this is what i get sent almost immidiately after, "Honestly i'm extremely hungover and i have to work and i just found out that we are having christmas eve breakfast at my moms tomorrow so i kinda just wanna sleep after work" i replied with just ok and nothing since. Im getting the feeling that she said that as an excuse to get out of it but at this point im not sure how to play this out and fyi to all the readers im not scared to go "for it" and i dont like to play games but seriously sometimes girls can be so shady.

Wow that sucks man. Okay forget her, moooooooooooveeee on... Next!

[johan]

I wouldn't ignore her. You could still have fun talking to her, or maybe even hanging out. But I wouldn't expect much from her. I wouldn't cancel any plans for her.

[Legend]

Um, it's time to move on.

 

If someone cancels plans with you, and doesn't offer an alternative, then they are not interested.

 

Sorry...

Not always true Jilly. Once I made plans to take a girl to Disneyland on Saturday, we already had plans the following Tuesday. She canceled on me Saturday cause of some family planned thing. Sometimes stuff comes up.

[Jilly Bean]

Not always true Jilly. Once I made plans to take a girl to Disneyland on Saturday, we already had plans the following Tuesday. She canceled on me Saturday cause of some family planned thing. Sometimes stuff comes up.

 

Yes, but that's what I said, Legend. Your girl had an alternative arranged. In which case cancelling is OK, as things do come up. This girl did not offer an alternative, and that's a blow off.

[blueman]

Yes, but that's what I said, Legend. Your girl had an alternative arranged. In which case cancelling is OK, as things do come up. This girl did not offer an alternative, and that's a blow off.

 

I agree jilly i mean what truly upsets me the most is she did not apologize for canceling that 1 she also did not inform me i had to text her to find out she was canceling thats 2 and she did not mention the idea of a raincheck thats 3 and its very suspect for some chick to use my hot body for some ass and then blow me off like that:p im just gonna say **** it and if she does call ill speak my mind and if sher does not like it than ill tell her to hit the curb i will not deal with immature women any more!!!!!

[johan]

I agree jilly i mean what truly upsets me the most is she did not apologize for canceling that 1 she also did not inform me i had to text her to find out she was canceling thats 2 and she did not mention the idea of a raincheck thats 3 and its very suspect for some chick to use my hot body for some ass and then blow me off like that:p im just gonna say **** it and if she does call ill speak my mind and if sher does not like it than ill tell her to hit the curb i will not deal with immature women any more!!!!!

 

No, don't speak your mind. Just get her to go out with you. Then work her over on the date. Alternately be nice and ignore her, then let her know you met up with some friends you'd like to go hang out with. Ask her if she wants a ride home or if she can take care of that herself.

[Jilly Bean]

I agree jilly i mean what truly upsets me the most is she did not apologize for canceling that 1 she also did not inform me i had to text her to find out she was canceling thats 2 and she did not mention the idea of a raincheck thats 3 and its very suspect for some chick to use my hot body for some ass and then blow me off like that:p im just gonna say **** it and if she does call ill speak my mind and if sher does not like it than ill tell her to hit the curb i will not deal with immature women any more!!!!!

 

 

You go on with your bad self!

 

It is rude and discourteous to not contact someone to cancel. She could have even taken the chicken way out and done it via text. You know you deserve better than that, so I would just forget her. If she contacts you again, I'd ignore her. I mean, you've already gotten a sample of her behavior, why stand for more? Plenty of girls out there will treat you right, and not just use you for your hot body...

[blueman]

No, don't speak your mind. Just get her to go out with you. Then work her over on the date. Alternately be nice and ignore her, then let her know you met up with some friends you'd like to go hang out with. Ask her if she wants a ride home or if she can take care of that herself.

 

im confused if i want to keep self respect in tact why would i go out with a gril that essentally just blew me off tonight? What i am saying is that when she does call/if she does call i will let her know exactly how i feel about her canceling. I got out of a relationship that involved me being used for my kindeness and hospitality and i dont plan on letting some girl im interested in abuse that generosity it hurts to be canceled on and it hurts evenn more to be used but what im trying to find out is with the info ive put on this forum does it seem that she is being reasonable or does it seem like she is giving me the run-around?

[blueman]

You go on with your bad self!

 

It is rude and discourteous to not contact someone to cancel. She could have even taken the chicken way out and done it via text. You know you deserve better than that, so I would just forget her. If she contacts you again, I'd ignore her. I mean, you've already gotten a sample of her behavior, why stand for more? Plenty of girls out there will treat you right, and not just use you for your hot body...

 

jilly this may be the french burgundy i have been drinking talking but i wish a girl like you lived near me cause thats the kind of spunk attitude i need lol

[Jilly Bean]

Aw...make it a Brunello or a white burgundy, and I'll make an advice house call next time...

 

Seriously, you're very in touch with what you need to do. I have no doubt you will do the right thing by yourself...

[D-Lish]

I've blown someone off out of nervousness in the past.

I have just felt too anxious to make the date.

 

The ball is in her court.

DO NOT contact.

You are doing well at that.

 

if she is interested she will notice you are not pursuing her and contact you. Legend may have something to say about that... but it's the way to go.

 

if she doesn't contact you- whatever- you can do better- if she does- take it with a grain of salt and let her make the plans and then let her solidify the plans... even make her pick you up and drop you off.

 

maybe get drunk and make an ass of yourself on the date. hit on the waitress, ask her if her mom has huge cans so you have something to look forward to in the future when she pushes out a few pups and loses her youthful body....

 

lol. We need a good story.

[blueman]

I've blown someone off out of nervousness in the past.

I have just felt too anxious to make the date.

 

The ball is in her court.

DO NOT contact.

You are doing well at that.

 

if she is interested she will notice you are not pursuing her and contact you. Legend may have something to say about that... but it's the way to go.

 

if she doesn't contact you- whatever- you can do better- if she does- take it with a grain of salt and let her make the plans and then let her solidify the plans... even make her pick you up and drop you off.

 

maybe get drunk and make an ass of yourself on the date. hit on the waitress, ask her if her mom has huge cans so you have something to look forward to in the future when she pushes out a few pups and loses her youthful body....

 

lol. We need a good story.

 

where have you and jilly bean been all my life lol see i know what i want and i know who i am but my problem is there are far too many women at my age that are either too immature or just .......... uhhhhhh too immature lol so it leaves me with the prospect of older women which i actually prefer for instance my date last weekend with a 29 yr old that went awesome but its very unfortunate that i cant meet someone closer to my age that is on the same level oh and i am not woried about her losing her "youthful" body as it isnt all that amazing of a body lol i care most about how a women carries herself and to be honest all i need is a woman that i connect with and usually the rest falls in place

[blueman]

Aw...make it a Brunello or a white burgundy, and I'll make an advice house call next time...

 

Seriously, you're very in touch with what you need to do. I have no doubt you will do the right thing by yourself...

 

I have a Montrachet with your name on it i actually work in the napa valley in wine marketing so feel free to contact me if you ever have any questions or need to pick a bottle to impress lol

[Legend]

Well in that case, yea you were blown off.. Thanks for clearing that up Jilly!