Does she want me or not?

[HeartBroke2006]

About 9 months ago I was introduced to this woman.

My friends girlfriend was out with this woman and they came and sat at our table.

I immediately fancied this woman, but me being on the rebound knew it would be crewl to even make a move on her. She was new in town and seemed really nice.

 

Anyways, 3 months ago She came over and started talking to me in this same bar we'd met previously.

We flirted and she put her number into my phone.

She kept asking if i was taking the mickey out of her and saying i was out of her league, and really putting herself down.

Trust me she is gorgeous!

 

We hit a club later and talked about the time we were introduced and that she had fancied me then.

On and off the dancefloor we were all over one another.

We had a great nite and we ended up back at hers.

We got very physical but stopped at sex as quick as we started. I told her i was fine with that, and i was.

 

I said goodbye in the morning and left it at that.

 

I text her around a week later asking her out.

She responded with a text telling me she's recently split up with her boyfriend and it would'nt be fair on me to see me again.

So doing the right thing I thought I would delete her number.

 

A few weeks later she sees me in a club, again all over one another and we end up back at hers - again no sex but she was so close all nite and slept holding me tight. She seems really wanting but very untrusting, maybe she really was hurt by another guy.

 

She always seemed to find me in this club, 4 or 5 times and we always went back to her place and started having real physical nites.

 

We meet at a later date and again sleep together. In the morning I ask if i can see her again and she replies "yes" and gives me her number.

We go out, have a great time, she tells me I'm gonna break her heart so I told her how I feel about her. We go back to her place and you know the rest.

 

A few weeks later I text her for a date and she responds with "I've got so much **** going on at the moment" and that she was really sorry.

 

So again I delete her number to ensure I dont text her as I was really beginning to have feelings for this girl.

 

Anyways few weeks passed, she aproached me in a bar Friday and asks if i'm pissed off with her?

Like i could be, i genuinely have feelings for her.

We chat and I make a break for it across the dancefloor, I dont want any bad feeling over the holiday period.

Later she's beside me at the bar so as I'm being served i buy her one too.

We move against a wall and bang! we're all over one another again.

 

Is there some attraction from her too or does she just want me when she's smashed on alcohol?

 

I think she's afraid of being hurt, and I've got all the time in the world for her to see I'm for real in what i say.

 

When I left yesterday morning I did'nt ask for her number as I thought what's the point? Although I kicked myself all the way home.

 

What i want to do is send this girl some flowers and wish her a happy christmas, is this sad? It's certainly out of character for me.

Is she just using me as a mate with benefits? or is she afraid of being hurt again?

If I send her flowers i can always use christmas as an excuse for sending them as a friend i guess.

 

What are your thoughts, sorry for the length of the post

Edited December 23, 2007 by HeartBroke2006

[brothermartin]

I think not. Dont send her anything. Next time you see her, if you see her, give her your number and tell her she can call you when she makes up her mind about what she wants from you. Then come clean. Tell her you've developed feelings for her but you can't keep playing this cat and mouse game and your going to delete her number until she makes a decision.

[Jilly Bean]

Why do you wait weeks to contact her after each time you hook up, yet then you say you want to date her? I hope you see what a mixed message this is to her. If I was her, I would think you were only interesting in getting laid. There comes a point where you play it TOO COOL and women pull back and watch what you do. Though you may have feelings for it, you don't show her much more than booty.

[Legend]

Why do you wait weeks to contact her after each time you hook up, yet then you say you want to date her? I hope you see what a mixed message this is to her. If I was her, I would think you were only interesting in getting laid. There comes a point where you play it TOO COOL and women pull back and watch what you do. Though you may have feelings for it, you don't show her much more than booty.

Agreed. To her you come off as just looking for a booty call. Show her a bit more interest, and take her out to some dinners/activities more often...

[HeartBroke2006]

Ok, DAMN i see how it looks.

I'm really tied up with work lately and with an executive role I've been really tired. But I guess a text would've taken all of 60 seconds to send.

 

But with her declining my invitations to go out it makes me feel like she just wants me for sex or only wants me when shes been drinking or on her own.

 

Sending flowers would'nt hurt would it?

After all it's Christmas and I'm a generous man.

 

I have plenty of offers from other women and when i go out i dont seem that bothered about looking for others, as you can see i'm really taken to this one.

[Jilly Bean]

Honestly, I'd learn from this and move on. You've established such a difficult dynamic already, that it would be tough to dig yourself out of it. I wouldn't trust your intentions at this point. I think she put you off because she shared with you that she was afraid you would break her heart, and what did you do to assuage that? You waited weeks to contact her again. So, besides you now saying you really like her, you have done nothing but treat her like a booty call. Or, a club hook-up, which almost rates a notch below booty call - lol.

[HeartBroke2006]

Well, we seemed to meet again tonite by chance and i've decided to move on.

She's either a cock tease or she really has no trust in me.

 

Again she was drunk so this is it.

I have decided to move on.

 

I did'nt go home with her, nor did i get jiggy with her on the dancefloor.

 

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL:D

[D-Lish]

Good for you.

She seems pretty mixed up!

 

You are so much better off without the drama.

[EYECANDY000]

About 9 months ago I was introduced to this woman.

My friends girlfriend was out with this woman and they came and sat at our table.

I immediately fancied this woman, but me being on the rebound knew it would be crewl to even make a move on her. She was new in town and seemed really nice.

 

Anyways, 3 months ago She came over and started talking to me in this same bar we'd met previously.

We flirted and she put her number into my phone.

She kept asking if i was taking the mickey out of her and saying i was out of her league, and really putting herself down.

Trust me she is gorgeous!

 

We hit a club later and talked about the time we were introduced and that she had fancied me then.

On and off the dancefloor we were all over one another.

We had a great nite and we ended up back at hers.

We got very physical but stopped at sex as quick as we started. I told her i was fine with that, and i was.

 

I said goodbye in the morning and left it at that.

 

I text her around a week later asking her out.

She responded with a text telling me she's recently split up with her boyfriend and it would'nt be fair on me to see me again.

So doing the right thing I thought I would delete her number.

 

A few weeks later she sees me in a club, again all over one another and we end up back at hers - again no sex but she was so close all nite and slept holding me tight. She seems really wanting but very untrusting, maybe she really was hurt by another guy.

 

She always seemed to find me in this club, 4 or 5 times and we always went back to her place and started having real physical nites.

 

We meet at a later date and again sleep together. In the morning I ask if i can see her again and she replies "yes" and gives me her number.

We go out, have a great time, she tells me I'm gonna break her heart so I told her how I feel about her. We go back to her place and you know the rest.

 

A few weeks later I text her for a date and she responds with "I've got so much **** going on at the moment" and that she was really sorry.

 

So again I delete her number to ensure I dont text her as I was really beginning to have feelings for this girl.

 

Anyways few weeks passed, she aproached me in a bar Friday and asks if i'm pissed off with her?

Like i could be, i genuinely have feelings for her.

We chat and I make a break for it across the dancefloor, I dont want any bad feeling over the holiday period.

Later she's beside me at the bar so as I'm being served i buy her one too.

We move against a wall and bang! we're all over one another again.

 

Is there some attraction from her too or does she just want me when she's smashed on alcohol?

 

I think she's afraid of being hurt, and I've got all the time in the world for her to see I'm for real in what i say.

 

When I left yesterday morning I did'nt ask for her number as I thought what's the point? Although I kicked myself all the way home.

 

What i want to do is send this girl some flowers and wish her a happy christmas, is this sad? It's certainly out of character for me.

Is she just using me as a mate with benefits? or is she afraid of being hurt again?

If I send her flowers i can always use christmas as an excuse for sending them as a friend i guess.

 

What are your thoughts, sorry for the length of the post

 

 

 

 

If you are genuine about sending her flowers because its x-mas go ahead.. But honestly I wouldnt send her anything but a x mas card... She is very confused and it seems she is hurting from this other guy and just enjoy having male company.. She needs someone to hold her, caress her at night without having a guiltly feeling of having sex with someone.. If its fun to make out when your at bars then continue .. but dont seek anything serious with this girl

[HeartBroke2006]

Last nite being Newyears Eve I head into town to meet up with some friends.

One of the friends being the woman that introduced me to this woman 9 months ago.

 

We sat as a group for a while and then this woman (from the initial post) comes over and starts chatting.

From my experience with her Christmas Eve I get up and move to the other end of the bar with some friends, as I thought this is what I have to do -stay away from her!

 

A bit later she comes over to me and apologises for the way she spoke to me Christmas Eve and said she was drunk because she has no family and hates Christmas etc.

 

I accepted the apology and we talked about what eachothers been upto over the past week.

 

We regroup with our friends and hit the dancefloor.

Midnite comes upon us and BOOM, it starts with a Newyears kiss and she's all other me.

I hesitated for a while, but she's what I want.

But I can never seem to get any kind of answer from her, as to what she wants.

 

I walk her home and stay the nite.

 

I feel really dissapointed in myself, as I promised myself I would'nt see her again. New year, new me and all that.

 

I really have strong feelings for her and I'm starting 2008 with a messed up head, I really thought I would never feel like this again towards another woman. I've been hurt before and thought nobody would ever replace one of my ex's.

 

She's told me how she has been really hurt in the past by her ex and she always finds the wrong guys. All I want is a chance, but she insists I will break her heart and she's afraid to get close to anybody.

 

I realise that if we were to get close it would happen by itself and it's not something i'm trying to force.

 

Did I do wrong to sleep with her and am I just gonna have another **** year?

 

Happy Newyear people:)

Edited January 1, 2008 by HeartBroke2006

[Jilly Bean]

Did I do wrong to sleep with her?

 

Ya think?

[Cookie Puss]

back to square one.

[HeartBroke2006]

back to square one.

 

So it seems.

I will NEVER learn.

 

The thing is I dont know what the attraction is, she's not somebody I would ever had gone for years ago.

I've always had trophy girlfriends, and to be honest most had lousy personality, if any at all.

It was always about looks.

But I guess it's down to maturity now for me, i'm not looking for looks, I want a decent person with morals.

 

Dont get me wrong she is gorgeous, but years ago I would'nt have looked twice.

 

The first time we slept together we did'nt have sex, so I know It's nothing to do with the sex, and I've slept with her a dozen or so times since and not always had sex.

There's just something about her that I find irrisistable.

 

But I really do need to stay away if I am to be happy or even honest with myself.

Edited January 2, 2008 by HeartBroke2006