SouthernT Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 For us women who don't have difficulty GETTING a man's attention but for some reason we can't KEEP a man's interest.... What's the best way for a woman to not only get your attention but KEEP your interest in us long term?
norajane Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 I'm not a guy, but...treat him like he's your Superman - make him feel good about himself when he's with you.
morelaugh Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 I'm not a guy either... So please ignore this if you are only interest in a male opinion... . . . I don’t think you want to keep interest of any man. For those men who are worth it, you just need to love them and respect them. Did I mention respect? I guess my point is : don’t try to keep ‘the man’, try to keep ‘the man you respect’. Trying to just keep the man you don’t really want just because ‘it’s time for you’ is wrong and will come back to bite you. You can keep pretty much any man by making him feel like a superman. The question is – do you want any man?
Lizzie60 Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 For us women who don't have difficulty GETTING a man's attention but for some reason we can't KEEP a man's interest.... What's the best way for a woman to not only get your attention but KEEP your interest in us long term? to keep them around a looooong time... give them great oral ...
Legend Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 I'm not a guy, but...treat him like he's your Superman - make him feel good about himself when he's with you. to keep them around a looooong time... give them great oral ... I am a guy... and that's really all it takes. I'd say making us feel like we're your superman is more important... though the other can't hurt
brothermartin Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 I'm a man. And if a woman wants to keep me interested, the best way to do it is to not flip her script. Meaning, whatever she did to get me interested, don't stop doing that after she's got me. The only thing I hate more than a woman playing games, is getting caught in one of her games.
Florida Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 I'm a man. And if a woman wants to keep me interested, the best way to do it is to not flip her script. Meaning, whatever she did to get me interested, don't stop doing that after she's got me. The only thing I hate more than a woman playing games, is getting caught in one of her games. Now when you say "don't flip the script" do you mean after the first month-when everything is still in honeymoon period? Or do you mean more like after the first year when you are wearing PJ's around eachother, seen crying, unwashed hair and PMS'ing?
brothermartin Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 Now when you say "don't flip the script" do you mean after the first month-when everything is still in honeymoon period? Or do you mean more like after the first year when you are wearing PJ's around eachother, seen crying, unwashed hair and PMS'ing? Whenever. There are some things that are agreed to in the beginning of a relationship that shouldn't be changed, like not planning to relocate to another state or wanting children or more children. When one person's stand stays the same on a subject, to flip the script is sort of a show of disrespect.
Krytie TV Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 What keeps me interested in women is when they reciprocate the effort that I put in. I behave largely out of pride, for right or wrong, so if I see that the balance is becoming uneven, it tends to turn me off. If the man happens to be the one doing the initiating up front, which is no problem, that does not necessarily mean he always wants to. Also, contrary to popular belief, we do like to be spoiled now and then and be made to feel special. We are not all emotionaless machines and some of us like to be told that we're special and such. This can come through action as well as words, and should.
Florida Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 What keeps me interested in women is when they reciprocate the effort that I put in. I behave largely out of pride, for right or wrong, so if I see that the balance is becoming uneven, it tends to turn me off. If the man happens to be the one doing the initiating up front, which is no problem, that does not necessarily mean he always wants to. Also, contrary to popular belief, we do like to be spoiled now and then and be made to feel special. We are not all emotionaless machines and some of us like to be told that we're special and such. This can come through action as well as words, and should. What about the effect of consistent love through actions and words? Doesn't it lose it's importance to you if heard consistently? I think I once heard the term "inconsistent behavioral pattern" that's not it but it meant that it would be appreciated more (men and women alike) if not meted out regularly, but rather irregulalrly. The theory is that regularity creats taking for granted.
Florida Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 Whenever. There are some things that are agreed to in the beginning of a relationship that shouldn't be changed, like not planning to relocate to another state or wanting children or more children. When one person's stand stays the same on a subject, to flip the script is sort of a show of disrespect. I get it now. Most people are going to change one of thise things as time goes on, it's the discussions about what you will do in those cases that show if the relationship can survive.
Trialbyfire Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 Men aren't feral porch cats to be trained and kept. For an effective long-term relationship, find a man with compatible traits.
Krytie TV Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 What about the effect of consistent love through actions and words? Doesn't it lose it's importance to you if heard consistently? I think I once heard the term "inconsistent behavioral pattern" that's not it but it meant that it would be appreciated more (men and women alike) if not meted out regularly, but rather irregulalrly. The theory is that regularity creats taking for granted. At no point was I suggesting that the behavior has to come on a consistent timeline. I only say that there should be relative evenness on the part of both players. Do you really think that spoiling a man occasionally and making him feel special requires daily affirmation? That is definitely not the case. Why should doing this for a guy be such a big deal?
Florida Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 At no point was I suggesting that the behavior has to come on a consistent timeline. I only say that there should be relative evenness on the part of both players. Do you really think that spoiling a man occasionally and making him feel special requires daily affirmation? That is definitely not the case. Why should doing this for a guy be such a big deal? I was just playing devil's advocate silly. I think ideally both people should do this, to the best of their abilities.
imstuckinatree3 Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 if you find the right guy its not hard to keep him......quit dating *******s, the good ones will stay
Lovegod Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 You've gotta look good, period. Nothing gets a man's attention more than a woman who looks good. Oh, and looking sexy works good too.
Krytie TV Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 if you find the right guy its not hard to keep him......quit dating *******s, the good ones will stay That implies that it's the man's issue. How can you imply that it has nothing to do with her behavior? I would argue that the "good men" would be more likely to leave a relationship with a girl that didn't reciprocate than any other man would.
Jilly Bean Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 It's kind of a tough question to answer without knowing anything about you and your dating patterns. If you were dating emotionally available men who are also looking for a relationship, find you attractive, have common core values, and don't carry a huge amount of baggage, that would be one thing. But, it can't be assumed that the problem with retaining men has to do with anything you are, or aren't doing or possess. Of course, this also brings up the converse, and provides that you are all of the above as well. Bottom line, it's just not that cut and dry to be able to offer advice on why you aren't retaining these men. Many factors on both sides go into the dating equation...
Rooster_DAR Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 Whenever. There are some things that are agreed to in the beginning of a relationship that shouldn't be changed Yeah, like suddenly deciding you don't like our friends...
Phateless Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 It's got to be even. Do things he wants to do as well as things you want to do. Being with you should be fun and fulfilling.
brothermartin Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 Yeah, like suddenly deciding you don't like our friends... Exactly. Stuff like that should be disclosed right from the start.
Florida Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 Yeah, like suddenly deciding you don't like our friends... Maybe it takes time to see some things that weren't apparent from the beginning. Depends on the situation.
brothermartin Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 I get it now. Most people are going to change one of thise things as time goes on, it's the discussions about what you will do in those cases that show if the relationship can survive. Not most adults. A 32 year old woman is usually pretty solid about wether she wants children or would like to move to Tokyo at this age. Suddenly changing her mind about something like this when her SO is on the other end of that table can be,....disturbing.
Florida Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 Not most adults. A 32 year old woman is usually pretty solid about wether she wants children or would like to move to Tokyo at this age. Suddenly changing her mind about something like this when her SO is on the other end of that table can be,....disturbing. Nothing is solid, every single thing can go topsy turvy each day. Routine and predictability is not nature's way, nor the fickle creatures called humans. Each day a crater can hit, electricity outtages, things break, energy sources are exhausted, new wars started, just to name a few examples-how can we expect different within the context of a relationship? Or is it realistic to expect that people don't change?
Pyro Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 For us women who don't have difficulty GETTING a man's attention but for some reason we can't KEEP a man's interest.... What's the best way for a woman to not only get your attention but KEEP your interest in us long term? -spontaneous -kind -have a sense of humor/don't take life too seriously -keep an open mind about things -Don't BS -Have the ability to have a meaningful and/or intelligent conversation
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