SSGLucey Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 I just posted this on the marriage board, but happen to find this forum. Any help would be greatly appreciated.. Hello, first I just wanted to say that I'm new to the forum and thankful to have found you guys. I really don't know who to talk to about my current situation and it will be nice to hear some insight, suggestions, etc. I married the man of my dreams in March 2006, we met online while he was stationed in Germany and I lived in Florida. In March, my husband flew down so we could get married, in which we spent 27 days together before he left for Afghanistan for 12 months. When he returned, I left with my son from a previous marriage to join him in Germany so we can finally be together. This was the time that I believed that my fairy tale ending has finally come true. My husband changed from the war but we quickly got pregnant and sadly we lost our child during our 2nd trimester. Losing our son, actually threw me into a deep depression to be honest. However, we battled to get our son's ashes to the states. Then I thought things would change for better for us when we finally received our approval on a Compassionate Reassignment back to the states. Now here we are.. still having arguments and not meeting half-way. Just recently I located a profile that he created on Adult Friend Finders in which he was looking for a "discreet relationship". In many ways, finding that profile felt like a huge slap in the face.. especially since its so public with his photo and in our local area. I'm not sure what direction to take. We have just recently went to a counselor and my husband was diagnosed with Chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Also with the death of our son, it just manifested to make it even harder for him. He claims that he never did anything with anyone, but how do I know the truth? He lied about opening the account and emailing a ex-girlfriend. I'm just having a extremely hard time honestly, thoughts crossing through my mind.. Did he have a emotional affar? Did he even meet anyone? But at the same time, I feel like I have to put my emotions to the side to help him with his PTSD. The emotions can be so overwhelming for me, I go from being angry, confused, helpless, and Grrrr - I can go on. Any help would be greatly appreaciated. Melissa
blindsidedagain Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 I don't think anyone can tell you but your husband. Evidently, he was seeking something however. You have both been through a great deal of emotional pain, and that can manifest in many ways. Some turn to drinking, drugs, gambling, affairs....you get the picture. It is encouraging that you both went to counceling. Honest and trust are paramount in a healthy relationship. If you want your relationship to work, you both must come to terms with that. Continue to go to councelling and read books on the subject. Use this forum as it has been a great deal of help to me. I wish you the best of luck.
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