nyx415 Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 We were together for 7 years. It's been a rough 2 and a half years for me now. Yes, time does heal but I also believe that in time, you just get use to the hurt. Our reationship was a great one. Our slogan was, "me and you against the world". We had a connection like no other. I thought she was the one. But there was one unresolved issue and when the day came, it was over. I will never forget the most haunting day in my life...helping her to move out to her new apartment and me coming home to my empty one. I must have cried for hours. I know she still cares about me. She msgs me once in awhile but I never respond. I've tried to date and I'm just not into it. *sigh* I try not to but I miss her...
BlueEyedSarah Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 nyx415, Its good that you do not respond to her, thats the best way to allow yourself to heal by being in no contact with that person. Don't go on other dates if you do not feel ready for it right now, just concerntrate on healing rather than finding someone else. Make new friends, join a club, see your friends and family.
FooledOnce Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 I have the same problem, I just have no interest in other girls. For me, it's only been 4 months, but everyone is so...ordinary compared to her. I really hope that in 2.5 years i don't still feel this way though, that would be terrible!!
kittensmittens Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 nyx, I understand how you feel. I've been finally going out (after 6 mos.) and meeting new people, new guys, etc. and, while I allow myself to have fun, there's still an emptiness inside. No one can compare to him. No one is as witty, sensitive, intelligent, etc., etc. There are other ineffible things about him that no one can outshine. I'm not sure, maybe I just still have a ways to go in the healing process, but I really am beginning to believe that maybe this person, who was once so important to us, will always have some importance. We'll always miss them a little bit. They will always own a little portion of our hearts that just will never be shared by or even be compareable to any other portion that we allot to anyone else. Your ex, afterall, IS a unique individual. It won't ever be the same with anyone else. But maybe that's not good or bad...it's just life. I think a huge challenge I'm having is letting go of all of the things I love and miss about him. I keep on trying to find him again in others so I won't have to let go. But maybe we don't have to let go. Maybe we can tuck away that time in our life and those things that we love, and still hold onto them, while making room for someone and something new. It's hard. I'm still struggling with it. When you really and truly love/d someone and you were with them for a very long time, it's takes a while. So be kind to yourself. It's ok to feel however you feel. You said you try not to miss her. Have you tried just letting yourself miss her? Most of the time, I function by pushing everything to do w/ him out of my head and focusing on what can make me happy in my life now (since HE is not an option). I'm willing to bet this is what you do to and I think it's healthy. But sometimes, those little feelings we shove aside a million times a day need to be expressed and felt. Sometimes when I feel the dam breaking I just let it all come and I cry and feel the despair and hoplessness and depression, and I long for him in all it's great intensity. And then the next day I feel a little bit better and shove forward again. Maybe it's worth a try?
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