funkybassplayer Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 Hi all, havent been here much latley, but im doing ace! very recently i have had dealings with the ex. Basically i sent her money to send to a company 3 months ago, which she never did and totally ignord my contact in trying to resolve the issue. 2 weeks ago shes asking for it by the 23rd. Well i explained politly that i wont have it till Jan till i got paid. I was then subjected to guilt trips, threats and accusaitons! Well as i know my truth, all her projection to me was in vain, and it ended that i will pay her in jan, (as i first said) but that was sandwhiched in between threats and guilt tripping. I sent an email explaining what she is doing and why it wont work. All i have to say is that i have seen my ex for who she is, and thats guilt ridden, and in much pain, and all i can do is wish her well in her parth, and hope she finds some inner peace. i feel for me, it was a good thing that i saw the real her, and i have much new and cool people in my life now, and happy with the outcome. She still holds my property (which she forgot about!) and when i send the cheque i will ask her to give it to charity. Her 16 years old daughter has just informed me that she has left her mum too. Its all very sad, but an experiance that i have learnt much from, and moved forward in a positive way. I think a lesson learned is once they lose that grip on you, some people will try to bring you down to their level of sadness and pain. Rise above that, and see them for what they are, in pain and needing help. but thats not my issue anymore. I have learnt that no matter how heartbroken you are, you can stay strong, and come out a stronger more caring and stronger person, and if you can see it, you can see the pain in others, rather than the attack that they try to hide behind.
polywog Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 Inspiring post, Funky. Especially after all you had to go through. It's always great to see one of us come to terms, learn a lesson or two, and move on, despite all the painful stuff we suffer through in this love-biz. Thanks.
brothermartin Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 (edited) I had a very similar situation with my ex. All the nastiness and meanness came forth after she left me and it also gave me a chance to see what kind of person she really was, a selfish, angry, insecure, hypocritical....you know. To give her some credit, she did change her tune after a while when she needed me to step and help her out with a small financial left-over. I was the bigger person and did what I had to with no hesitation or animosity towards her. I hope that just burned her knowing how she treated me! Congratulations FUNKY. Welcome to clearity. Edited December 23, 2007 by brothermartin
underpants Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 I think a lesson learned is once they lose that grip on you, some people will try to bring you down to their level of sadness and pain. Rise above that, and see them for what they are, in pain and needing help. but thats not my issue anymore. I have learnt that no matter how heartbroken you are, you can stay strong, and come out a stronger more caring and stronger person, and if you can see it, you can see the pain in others, rather than the attack that they try to hide behind. I especially liked this part. You have come a long way funky. Good for you.
Trialbyfire Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 One more reason why NC can be a good thing. Why are you sending her money? Is this money owed? If not, she's an adult and should be providing for herself. As for the property she holds of yours, if you're requesting her to give it to charity, it's obviously not something you want back. Unless there's a real need to make reference to its disposal, ie. something she's holding due to space considerations that are costing her to keep it on your behalf, don't you feel it's a minor way to control her actions?
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