beautifulobscene Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 Hi Everyone, New here, just need a little advice if anyone has a few minutes.. SORRY IT'S SO LONG! ...my ex & I have been broken up for just over 3 months (broke up b/c of her health issues) (LDR) & have not really had too much NC although I requested it from the very beginning,saying if I couldn't be her partner I couldn't be anything. Anyway, we spoke quite regularly, always initiated by her & we've been away together a few times, the last time was a month ago..everytime we've seen each other we are together in every sense of the word & then we both go home & back to nothing.We also spoke on the phone quite regularly & always got sentimental, there was always a sub context to our conversations..she would tell me she loves me & if I didn't respond she would reiterate it & I would give in & tell her I love her too..always thinking maybe,just maybe she's coming back. Needless to say, 3 months later I still hadn't moved forward & had enough of being played. So, I decided we needed to have the "conversation" which she avoided for a week after I told her we needed to talk about this..anyway, finally had the conversation & she denied everything, told me I had it all wrong & everything in the last 3 months has been completely about being friends & anything else was all in my head..I questioned her about telling me she loves me & she said she says that to all her friends, I explained we are not friends,we are ex lovers & that if she felt that she needed to tell me she cared it isn't appropriate to say I love you, better just to say I care. She agreed & apologised. I told her I want a friendship with her, but something based on the present not what we had in the past, that we couldn't reel each other in with talk of what we used to had.... that very moment she decided that we needed NC at all, that we should have had it long ago & it was the best thing for both of us. I told her that isn't what I want but I respect her & her decision. So ok, conversation ends like that.... not b4 she says "but if you feel differently about NC a week or 2, please give me a call..don't feel like you can't" I was like "Umm, ok" WTF.. and then I say, " I really love you" and she says " I really love you too" Not sure if this is important, but she was crying the whole conversation..! Any advice, thoughts, whatever appreciated! x
curiousnycgirl Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 I don't understand, you two broke up because of her healthy issues, and then sort of continued anyway? What healthy issues would cause her to say you need to break up?! It actually doesn't matter - you two need to go full NC to heal. What you have been doing the past three months has not allowed either one of you to move forward with your lives. Do not contact her, move on with your life!!! Good luck to you.
Author beautifulobscene Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 Update.. if anyone is interested. So we did NC for 2 weeks, I broke it & send a short text xmas eve just saying "Merry Xmas, hope you're well" she replied with "oh thank u so much, I really really appreciate it...blah blah xx" Anyway, I left it at that.. then I get a call a few days later, as normal as anything like the conversation in which she told me she didn't want to speak to me for at least 2 months didn't happen 2 weeks ago. Don't get me wrong I know I opened the door for communication, but seriously.. I don't get it! She's called twice since then.. She's all flirty, giggly and soft on the phone, saying call me whenever you like, no need to be a stranger, blaaaaah.. SHE wanted this, SHE wanted NC, SHE wanted to get on with her life, not me.. Now she's calling again, pretending nothing happened..??
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