Mylife Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 Just a quick question to you all. I noticed on facebook that he plans to attend an event that is called the jingle with singles event, a club night. Quick story, been about 2 1/2 months since the split. I am 18, he is 20, we were best friends 6 months, went out for 3 months. My first bf, first date, first love, first relationship, first kiss and first intense make out. All in all really loved eachother and talked about family and kids too. And yes all of the above same with him. Break up was mutual and no mess at all. I have been nc for about 2 months, only the occasional hi whats up. I have been pretty good for the past few weeks, and been happy. Now my question, is it ok if I am feeling alittle like angry inside for the fact that he is going to this event? Its like a feeling that I just want to scream out really loud. Not sad or upset, just alittle like argh!! Is it ok??
polywog Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 Yes, it's OK. Everyone (well, everyone I know) feels like that when they see evidence of their ex moving on, even if we were the one to end it. It's just a gut reaction. You seem to have a really good attitude about it, by the way.... especially considering this is your first love. So we all just get that "ugh" feeling and let ourselves ride through it, until we pass on to the other side.
Ronni_W Posted December 23, 2007 Posted December 23, 2007 Whatever you feel is perfectly fine, natural, normal and healthy Even with a mutual break-up, there's still the disappointment of unrealized dreams (usually on both sides), which is as real as the loss of the person in our physical space. It will generate the same anger, sadness, good memories, etc. It's kinda like when someone with cancer passes on -- there's relief/gladness that they're no longer suffering but you still miss them like crazy and grieve for them. The contradictory feelings can and do co-exist. Best of luck.
Author Mylife Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 Thanks to both of you:) I feel better...really. In a way I am happy thought that atleast he is going out and having fun with his buddies. I doubt he will actually be looking for someone there because I know him, very picky, and is not the random hook up type. He is a virgin and like me wants to be one till marriage. He also needs to know the girl reallllllly well before he can like her enough to have a relationship with. Not the casual date type of guy. But thats just my feeling, who knows what may happen. Oh well, his life, he can deal with it and do whatever he pleases.
Author Mylife Posted December 24, 2007 Author Posted December 24, 2007 Just thought I should update you all... He didn't go to the event. I don't know why, I just know that he didn't end up going to it. I don't know how I am supposed to feel right now, but I do feel like smiling.
Ronni_W Posted December 24, 2007 Posted December 24, 2007 ...but I do feel like smiling. Er, um. Okay, I'm glad that you're smiling BUT... ...but I'm not getting that you genuinely were not just a teeny bit "sad or upset" when you found out he was going, or that it's really, truly, deeply true that you're totally fine with him doing "whatever he pleases" in his life. Not that it's a deal, either way. Just putting it out there in case there's something. Regardless...keep on smiling! And have a Happy Holiday.
Recommended Posts