confuse80 Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 Okay I am new here, been lurkin here and it helps me a lot but i need to ask some advice about my situation. me and my bf were together for 6 years, he is 41 and i am 27. for the last 6 yrs the relationship wasnt that great either, we broke up and back again so many time and its kinda annoying at the end too. last time i broke up with him beginning of this year and i went overseas. i told him i want commitment from him because we've been together for so long but he said he didnt want to commit that time and i decided we should broke up. he agreed that time. i went overseas and sometimes we sms each other, and he said he still love me and wants me back. i felt into it and actually agree because I do love him very much and we had long distance for about 6 months. I came back and everything start to fall off. I guess my feeling wasnt settle before because of past experience so I was kinds reluctan on giving 100% to him and he saw it and he kinda annoyed too about it. I know slowly I can change my attitude but I guess its too late now. He broke up with me 3 wks after I came back from overseas. He told me I am still a kid and he needs more mature woman in his life. At that time I dont have money, dont have job and dont have place to live. He told me I could stay at his place until I get a job but I dont think I can live there knowing he is the one who breaking up on me. I moved to other state, he told me he wants to be friends and I said yes, while we were friends we still say to each other i love you and he said it too, and that he told me he really loves me and want to work things out between us. I agree and actually hoping that we could get back together. I plan to spend xmas with him and told him I will come for xmas. he was happy and excited. But last week he called me and said that its bad idea to come for xmas, he said he doesnt want all the feelings to come back and that we went back to our old relationship pattern (broke up and back together) and he is not ready for me. He said its better that we dont call each other too often, but he wants to be able to speak with me sometimes, like xmas or new year, but that time i said no, its better that we dont talk to each other because by the sounds of it he is kinda move on now. I tried NC for 4 days and he wrote me email last night and say sorry that he cause all the pain. thats it. I cried and cried and not able to sleep last night, i even had a dream that he found a new gf. Today I cant hold myself to not call him, I tough I am hurt now, so I may as well use the hurt to talk to him, he sounds very cold on the other end and I told him that dont email me or call me and he said ok, what can i do, if you want it then i will do it. I cried on the phone and say that I am hurt and that if he keeps writing or calling me i will never able to get over the hurt. we hang up, and I cry and cry and cry and decided to call him back and ask questions: 1. is it truly over - he said in a way, yes, he said if we dont cut this off we will never change to a better person, and maybe someday we meet each other again and i know you will change to be more woman and maybe we get back together again that time, it could be one year or more. 2. so there is no more love for me? - there is a lot of love he said, you got what i want in a perfect partner but you lack in one thing, which i told you you need to grown up and turn into woman, i cant go with a kid. the love will always there but we cant be together now. i still care and want to call you sometimes and i want to see you next year to catch up but now maybe its best we just over each other. now my question, should i just give him a break or will i just move on? should i let him call me? but i am affraid that i will hurt again when i hear his voice, but then i am thinking if we sometimes call each other, will it hold the love that we got? i dont know that to do, please help me!
jerbear Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 41 & 27 are just numbers but in my opinion; go enjoy life; be a cougar oneday and enjoy life. Being 27, you still have a lot more years ahead of you. My suggestion is to move on and treat it as a life experience.
Author confuse80 Posted December 21, 2007 Author Posted December 21, 2007 I guess you right, I need to move on as he said too.
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