Rich464 Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 Hi all, I have recently split from my girlfriend of 4 years and things recently have gotten very strange. Our relationship has always been rather passionate. There were many arguments in the early days, mainly over the fact that both of our parents dissaproved of us seeing each other (I'm now 23 and she's 20). It caused a lot of friction but we always seemed to work through it. 7 weeks ago she dumped me, on a crowded train platform on a monday morning after we had a serious fall out, throwing her coffee all over me, which was nice.... She studies at the university in a different city, the city that I work in. Unfortunately plans were already in place for me to move there to be closer to work, and to be with her. Now the problem is, despite trying really hard I'm awful at NC, whereas she is very good at it. One of the most frustrating things for me is when people ignore me so you can imagine it can be difficult sometimes. Now the problem is I'm getting mixed messages from her and really don't know what to do. For the first 3 weeks, we had minimal contact. Excuses to contact her really, about coming to collect her things that were at mine, stuff like that. On about 4 weeks after our breakup I met her in person, she was cold and distant and I tried not to appear to upset, which needless to say didn't work. We ended up standing in the cold having a lenghty conversation about whats being going on in our lives over the last month, just like old times. We met up a few times over the next 2 weeks, we went out for food and things, unfortunately one night we had a bit to drink she came back to mine and we slept together. She was giving off all the right signals and the next morning we went for breakfast and things seemed fine. over the next week she was fine with me, she referred to me as 'sweetie' and 'babes' in her texts and asking me to do little things for her. This went on for a while until she stopped at mine again one night. She was exhausted and I was urging her to go to bed. She got into bed and was talking as she was drifting off. The thing that upset me then was she said "if you want anything out of me you better do it now before I'm asleep". That hurt, the thought that I only wanted her for sex was upsetting. I kept my thoughts to myself and she fell asleep. This brings us up to 4 days ago. After not speaking to her all weekend she calls me out of the blue. Apparently her friend had noticed my relationship status on facebook was set to 'in a relationship - its complicated' (from 2 months ago - I dont check it much) and she called me to ask who I was seeing. I of course said no one and she fell out with me. She then proceeded to tell me there was nothing between us, and that things will never work, which upset me a lot but i stayed cool rather than losing it. 2 nights ago we talked, she called me and we had a lenghty conversation, I told her I couldn't do this anymore, the way she treats me when she's in a bad mood and the mixed messages all the time. She of course denied everything. I told her we needed to stay away form each other and she got upset. She hung the phone up in anger saying "you don't love me anymore". 30 mins later shes texts me saying "I just f****ng wished for one moment we could have worked, but no its all s**t and you dont love me anymore so ill just say merry xmas". I replied back saying sorry and she said "is that it then?" and i said yes. I dont know what to do here. I love this girl so much it hurts to think of her in pain when she thinks I don't love her. By telling her I do love her will I open myself up to more mixed messages? Should I try and meet her to resolve this? I really don't know, but I do know this gets more difficult wth each passing day and it upsets me way too much Thanks for reading.
Freddy Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 It sounds like she does love you and wants to know that you love her back. If you do want to be with her then tell her.
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