Jasmine777 Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 I dated someone for five and a half years and all of a sudden our relationship went sour. We decided to try and be friends but that did not work. He called me, texted me, even tried to come over and hangout with me. That did not work because when I tried to bring up issues about why we were no longer together, he would get mad. He never could discuss any issues with me on why we broke up, he would only get mad and say hurtful things. He wanted to keep hanging out which was only hurting me because he did not want to get back togeher. So tonight I talked to him and he was saying that he wants to date others to make sure that I am the right girl for him. He wants to see if no girl can compare to me. He said that I am afraid of loosing you and afraid that I will not not end up with the right person.He says that he does not want to take dating other girls seriously but he wants to try it out. He keeps saying that he wants to find out if he I am the right girl for him, shouldn't he know this by now! What is his deal!? Can anyone give me some insight and advice on this crazy situation. Thanks!
JustinWolf Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 Whoa whoa whoa, it's like he's keeping you on a "backup plan". Think to yourself, what if he found the perfect girl, and you were there waiting for him, how would you feel? uh uh girl, don't let that guy take the best of you. You have to move on and be strong and if he keeps talking to you, don't ever talk about the past, because well, it's the past. If you talk to him, be neutral and show him you are happy with his decision and you are ready to move on, you can even go NC and completely forget about him. You just gotta be happy in life and sometimes that's all it takes.
underpants Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 Some men can be sooo stupid and selfish sometimes. That kind of crap just kills the connection for me. Sorry he can't realize what he has without destroying it first. His loss. I would let him go. If you are emotionally strong enough, agree whole heartedly that ...yea, maybe you should be checking out some options also, what a great idea!!! Then just never respond to him again. Deep no contact for several months at the very least. Once you gain some distance you will see that his line of thinking is very self based and that would have carried over into other areas later. What a dummy.
oppath Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 Quite selfish of him. When I break up with girls, I am black and white. "This isn't working out; my feelings have changed; I don't feel we are right for each other to continue this relationship, we have too many issues." I understand there are non black and white situations, but as a guy, I would not treat a woman like that. If I can't give someone my all, whatever the reason, I know that I need to tell them "this is over, I need to let you know that so you can heal and move on and find the relationship you deserve, because I am not that person." Cruel? Sure. But I'm not going to string a girl along. I treat people how I want to be treated. When a girl breaks up with me, I want the string cut. Completely. I'm sure he does not realize what he is doing to you. The only caring thing to do when you break up with someone, is to give them the space they need to heal and move on. If you care about someone, the only course of action is to give them that space. If you do not, you are being selfish.
Geishawhelk Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 I.... because when I tried to bring up issues about why we were no longer together, he would get mad. He never could discuss any issues with me on why we broke up, he would only get mad and say hurtful things. He wanted to keep hanging out which was only hurting me because he did not want to get back togeher. So tonight I talked to him and he was saying that he wants to date others to make sure that I am the right girl for him. He wants to see if no girl can compare to me. He said that I am afraid of loosing you and afraid that I will not not end up with the right person........ What is his deal!? Can anyone give me some insight and advice on this crazy situation. Thanks! THis is very simple. It's a Control issue. He wants to have you under his thumb. "I'm going to have you, so nobody else can, but I'm also going to lay as much bitch as I can, because I can. So there. " he's basicaslly telling you he has no respect for you, or any woman.... It sounds as if he has big issues with his views on women, the fact that they have brains, and the fact that he has to find one who's weaker than he is to control....and are you she? Get out now. Don't be that dumb-ass....!!
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