coco_milkshake Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Since Saturday Ive began thinking about my ex and its killing me. When I went to see the Golden Compass at the cinema, I was sitting on my seat waiting for the trailers to start. There was music playing in the background and I was horrified to hear a song that my ex loved soo much. I hadnt heard that song in a long time and as soon as I heard it, all the memories came rushing back. I was sitting with family so I tried to hide my feelings but on the inside..man.... Im happy he is out of my life but at the same time, Im soo hurt by what he did to me cos I dont know what I had done to deserve it. Ive moved on with my life and I will consider myself very fortunate if I never set eyes on him again but at the same time, sometimes I wish I would bump into him so I can question his actions. I know it wont change what he did ,but at least I would have some sort of satisfaction. Hate is a strong word but he is one of 3 people who I truly hate with all my heart. The other 2 are my mum and my sister. It angers me when I think about what he put me through and I feel anger at myself for being soo stupid and naive. I know better now. He has been drifting in and out of my mind but I try to fill my mind with hate when he does. He deserves nothing less. Why is it we find ourselves thinking about those people who used to be a part of our lives, but hurt us in the worst possible ways?? :(
brothermartin Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Because this type of wound is an emotional wound. A wound of the heart, mind, and soul. Apparently, they do heal, after a long time. It just hasn't been long enough for us baby. I can't say I hate my ex. Not really. In fact, I hope she finds everything in the next man she meets that she didn't find in me. I also hope that she finds NONE of what she found in me, with the next man. That way, she can really see that what she gained can't compare with what she threw away. I hope that she will find herself having to choose between love or money again, and remember me. I know what you're feeling honey. But don't hate him, pity him. He was a fool that threw away a really good thing and dose not deserve your tears.:love:
Author coco_milkshake Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 Because this type of wound is an emotional wound. A wound of the heart, mind, and soul. Apparently, they do heal, after a long time. It just hasn't been long enough for us baby. I can't say I hate my ex. Not really. In fact, I hope she finds everything in the next man she meets that she didn't find in me. I also hope that she finds NONE of what she found in me, with the next man. That way, she can really see that what she gained can't compare with what she threw away. I hope that she will find herself having to choose between love or money again, and remember me. I know what you're feeling honey. But don't hate him, pity him. He was a fool that threw away a really good thing and dose not deserve your tears.:love: He did some things which were pretty unforgiveable and no one has hurt me as bad as he has. I know he doesnt deserve my tears..they are a mixture of hurt and anger. :(
Trialbyfire Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Y'know coco. It's time to be completely selfish. The ultimate in being selfish, is to forgive the offender. You don't have to tell your offender that you've done so, but boy, does it ever feel good to let all that hurt, hate and bitterness go. Talk about not having to drag around the steel ball and chain.
Author coco_milkshake Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 Y'know coco. It's time to be completely selfish. The ultimate in being selfish, is to forgive the offender. You don't have to tell your offender that you've done so, but boy, does it ever feel good to let all that hurt, hate and bitterness go. Talk about not having to drag around the steel ball and chain. Im sure I will do that. I have forgiven him for most of what he has done but those few things that really got to me..Im having a hard hard time letting go of it. It will happen eventually Im sure.
Trialbyfire Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Im sure I will do that. I have forgiven him for most of what he has done but those few things that really got to me..Im having a hard hard time letting go of it. It will happen eventually Im sure. You know I don't always believe in forgiveness. Some things are unforgiveable. Just forgive yourself, dearling. Let it go.
Author coco_milkshake Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 You know I don't always believe in forgiveness. Some things are unforgiveable. Just forgive yourself, dearling. Let it go. Yeah I will. There are one or 2 things which I am incapable of forgiving. He has been out of my life for a long while and to just make his presence felt without physically seeing him...grrrr lol. Its amazing what one thought can go and do.
Rooster_DAR Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 Yeah I will. There are one or 2 things which I am incapable of forgiving. He has been out of my life for a long while and to just make his presence felt without physically seeing him...grrrr lol. Its amazing what one thought can go and do. I feel your pain, Although I've moved on with my life I still bump into reminders of the tragedy of losing the person I loved so much. I still vacillate in and out many emotions when these triggers arise. How long have you been away from him if you don't mind me asking?
Author coco_milkshake Posted December 20, 2007 Author Posted December 20, 2007 I feel your pain, Although I've moved on with my life I still bump into reminders of the tragedy of losing the person I loved so much. I still vacillate in and out many emotions when these triggers arise. How long have you been away from him if you don't mind me asking? Awww Im sorry RD. A year and 8 months.
Rooster_DAR Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 Wow, it's been a long time. I can't help to think that this has not affected us on a permanent basis, I think heartbreak can really have a profound affect on who we are and become in the future. I know that time heals most wounds to the point we can live again, but I'm not sure when you love someone that much that it does not affect you for a lifetime. You will be OK, just let some time pass and perhaps someone who truly has integrity and maturity will come along. Good luck
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