Author SouthernT Posted December 20, 2007 Author Posted December 20, 2007 As much as we all like to espouse " honesty" and "not playing games", I don't know if i would put my heart out there on my sleeve ! It's one thing if this is a shy guy you KNOW has been crushing on you for awhile, but otherwise, why HASN'T HE made a move on YOU ( if he were interested ) ??? I tend to find one gets better results when one lets the guy do the " chasing". I'm not being anti-feminist, I hate it as much as anyone, but that doesn't make it untrue. is there any way to hint ? Like at a really close moment of hanging out, saying something like " I am really ready for a NICE boyfriend right now" and then, let him either volunteer, get jealous, or say " hey I could fix you up with my friend bob !!" See, that's where I'm stuck. It kinda seems to me that he is avoiding having the talk. So mabye that's my answer right there. He never calls, he never asks to see me and he's never asked me out on a date. He just "pops up" out the blue and say let's hang out and then he'll be a big flirt towards me during that time. But then after we hang out, I won't hear from him for looooong time.
Green Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 this situation reminds me of those abcfamily romance/comedies where the girl is the main character and shes trying to get some guy she likes, who likes her but, things are just standing in the way (usualy the biggest opsticle is the girl herself because she has some internal hang up) well wheres your post about how you just grabed him and kissed him... I know some one posted its unwomanly to be the agressor but Id say alot of good relationships have started that way... every really good relationship I had involved a girl doing something pretty agressive or obviouse
Prodigal Princess Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 SouthernT, I don't think you should put yourself out there for this guy. I can guarantee that he already knows you are interested, and he chooses every day to do nothing about it. Quite the opposite - he pops up in your life when he needs an ego boost, then dissapears just as quickly. You've built this up so much, you would now be terribly crushed and humiliated if he rejected you face to face (or even by email). And that is pretty much what will happen. He has already indicated to you that he does not want a relationship right now. The most you could hope for with him would be a f*ck buddy. And you do NOT want to go down that path with a guy you actually like. Keep him as your dream man, because the reality of being in a relationship with him would be quite different.
Legend Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 listen to you I say give it a shot... I agree with KMT, put yourself out there. Some of my best relationships were from the girl doing the same. Just do it.
melodymatters Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 Ok, well you have two guys in a row now saying it works for them ! I guess you just have to ask yourself, how hurt, embarassed or dissapointed you might be if he rejects you. Would you miss his friendship if things got weird between you, or is this a case of nothing ventured nothing gained ? We are all just guessing here, only YOU know the true situation. I wish you the best of luck !
spookie Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 I say go for it, if you're prepared for the fact that it might be awkward for a little while after. But you know... it's how you handle it after that will either make it ok or not between you two. I think the benefit of going the more subtle route is that you don't have to put yourself all the way out there. But I've done that before, including via wireless means, and nothing beats the adrenaline of waiting for what their response might be. It's always worked out for me (I've done it 4 or times) but I had an inkling that they might feel the same about me. If you can handle it... do it! It'll be fantastic to know for sure where you stand.
Author SouthernT Posted December 20, 2007 Author Posted December 20, 2007 SouthernT, I don't think you should put yourself out there for this guy. I can guarantee that he already knows you are interested, and he chooses every day to do nothing about it. Quite the opposite - he pops up in your life when he needs an ego boost, then dissapears just as quickly. You've built this up so much, you would now be terribly crushed and humiliated if he rejected you face to face (or even by email). And that is pretty much what will happen. He has already indicated to you that he does not want a relationship right now. The most you could hope for with him would be a f*ck buddy. And you do NOT want to go down that path with a guy you actually like. Keep him as your dream man, because the reality of being in a relationship with him would be quite different. I think this is really great advice in this situation. Because yeah...I would be crushed at this point if I put myself out there and he did not reciprocate.
Green Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 so what just do it... if u get crushed enough fly out and see me I'll take advantage of u
Legend Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 so what just do it... if u get crushed enough fly out and see me I'll take advantage of u I second that
Green Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 she can make a 50 state tour visiting me first of course then you
Prodigal Princess Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 I would agree with all those urging you to go for it, if I thought there was a chance you two could start a real relationship. However he has pretty much told you (however indirectly) that he is not interested. It would not be taking a risk for love, as some here have suggested - you would just be setting yourself up for rejection and heartbreak. As frustrating as it might be, I say dream from a distance.
Green Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 ive been able to determine the guy in the post the OP is refering to is not me, so im going to have to give her a neh on moving foward
Author SouthernT Posted December 20, 2007 Author Posted December 20, 2007 ive been able to determine the guy in the post the OP is refering to is not me, so im going to have to give her a neh on moving foward YES!! KMT...YOU are my dream guy! And I'm pouring my heart out to you here on LS. What do you say??
Green Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 yes theres a chance I've fallen quite hard over you
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