morelaugh Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 I’ll try this one time and I will stop. I promise you. But I have to ask one more time. Do you girls really don’t mind when you see a bunch of guys staring at a passing female? Do you really don’t mind to see, what looks like a group of decent males, to totally lose control over themselves just because a girl passing has a nice pair of tits? Or legs. Or whatever. Do you really think it’s normal and ok to look at women mainly as sexual objects? I can’t believe I’m the only one who feels this way. You’re not really mind being looked at like a piece of meat? Or a pair of boobs? I may be just an offspring of a feminist generation, but seriously girls, are you really happy with how the things are at the moment? Cause if you are, I promise, I won’t post anymore.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 You kidding? I hate the superficial and shallow world we live in. I don't like any of what you mentioned. Being just an "eye-full" or "another ass to stare at" or whatever is so rude and disrespectful. And the fact that people can't keep themselves under more control to show more decency is a sad thing.
luvstarved Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Listen, people are in the animal kingdom. They are going to respond to nature. Visual stimuli get a rise out of men. Women have their own set of responses. That is life. On the other hand, we are the cream of the biological crop. We assert that there is greater meaning to our lives than to other animals. We want to have deep meaningful relationships with other human beings and get full credit for all of our own inner depth and complexity. You can't really achieve that by staring slack-jawed at a pair of tits. It is not admirable. It is not indicative of existence on any higher spiritual plane. It is indulging that animal and trying to shrug it off as some involuntary, natural and unavoidable response. Yes the animal response exists. BUT we are supposed to in some ways rise above all that for the sake of more important things. It is natural to take a crap, but you don't just drop your drawers wherever you are when the urge comes on and let it fly. It is natural to masturbate, but you don't just sit there and do it in front of other people. It is natural to think inappropriate thoughts of all sorts, but you don't just open your mouth and let it all out. You CURB yourself and do all of these "natural" things when and where they will not offend or hurt others. I find it disrespectful of anyone, male or female, to openly indulge these responses and justify it as being "normal". Of course it is normal but it is also something you are supposed to "handle" in a mature manner. I UNDERSTAND that men like to look, value attractiveness in women, and left to themselves would pretty much f**k as many of them as they could. They DON'T f**k as many as they can (most of them) because they DO want something more and are willing to accept the trade off for what they get from a REAL relationship. I do not see why so many men seem to think it is somehow important for their partner to ALLOW this behavior, just because it is "the way they are", and if the women don't then they are some kind of jealous insecure freaks. I KNOW that my H looks at other women. I look at other men too. I do not do it in front of him, I do not talk about my attraction to other males, I do not insist that he cheerfully acknowledge my "biological imperative" and allow me to freely indulge it. This is not about being uptight, it is about being respectful. I am sure that there are couples in which this mutual indulgence works just fine and hooray for them. To each his own. For me, my H is free to think what he wants and I know I cannot and should not ever try to fault him for whatever brings about a woody. But I do expect him to have the consideration and maturity to not act like a naive horny teenager his whole life. The irony is, in my experience, men feel just as insulted and threatened when women indulge in this behavior (that is to say, not everyone, but by and large, women do not like this behavior in men and men do not like this behavior in women), the difference is that women do not seem as knee-jerkily prone to it, or in general as obvious about it.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 I think you nailed it right there. There's instincts and nature, and how far you react. As you say, time to be adults, not act like a 15 year old boy. That's one thing I don't understand, sometimes it seems like so many guys never mature to a point where they keep it in check.
Woggle Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Human beings are sexual creatures and therefore men and women will look at each other in a sexual manner. Just because I am sexually attracted to a woman does not mean that I don't see her as an intelligent and capable person or that I don't respect her. Respect and sexual attraction are not mutually exclusive concepts.
sillyme2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 this is tough. I think it's rude when it's done in an obvious obscene way, like yelling out "hey nice ass" "can I get some of that" you know the immature babble some do. but if it's just looking not saying anything then it can be flattering if you havn't been told how nice you look it's like a reminder you still got it. I think its all in the way it's done.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 I was always told "Look once, fine. Look twice, out of line." (but that's more for when you're involved with someone.) Discretion is advised!
Scrivdog Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Riiiight. And as soon as the men stop staring and turning their heads, those same women who were so incredibly outraged before will make a mad dash to the nearest plastic surgeon to get a refill.
Mustang Sally Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 I have to say. It depends on who is doing the leering. Sometimes it's annoying. Much of the time it's flattering. Just being honest. (Maybe it's cause I'm getting older? )
Cobra_X30 Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Riiiight. And as soon as the men stop staring and turning their heads, those same women who were so incredibly outraged before will make a mad dash to the nearest plastic surgeon to get a refill. True... but at some point a guy has to at least act like he has seen one before.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 I think it's how tasteful they make it? It's very flattering, but like you said, it also matters on whose doing it. I've caught some male friends giving me some looks when they thought I didn't notice, and I know they'd never be rude about it, but I secretly enjoyed it;-)
stillafool Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Riiiight. And as soon as the men stop staring and turning their heads, those same women who were so incredibly outraged before will make a mad dash to the nearest plastic surgeon to get a refill. I totally agree with you. I have to ask the OP if she minds when men look at her in approving manner? The females I know who get constant attention from men don't seem to mind it at all. However the women who don't seem to get that attention seem to be the ones who complain about this. I don't care what any woman says, they like it when a man gives them a look of approval. Why do women spend millions on cosmetics and clothes every year? Mostly to attract men. I think if your SO can't control hisself when in the presence of a goodlooking woman then he's the problem, not the women. Maybe Morelaugh you should change partner's because it sounds like yours is causing you "self-esteem" problems.
Trialbyfire Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Do you girls really don’t mind when you see a bunch of guys staring at a passing female?No, I don't mind, as long as they're looking at someone else. If they're looking at me in a non-intrusive fashion, that's okay too. It's when they get rude about it and make passing comments or deliberately put themselves in your path, that I find it offensive. Do you really don’t mind to see, what looks like a group of decent males, to totally lose control over themselves just because a girl passing has a nice pair of tits? Or legs. Or whatever.I've yet to see a group of decent males lose total control over themselves. Perhaps you need to define what you consider losing total control and what you consider decent. I've seen groups of highschool and college boys do the male "rite of passage" group mentality, where they flap their proverbial wings and crow, like bantam roosters. Do you really think it’s normal and ok to look at women mainly as sexual objects?Yes, I believe it's normal. I don't care if a partner does it, as long as he's not being overt about it. No, it's not how I want men to view me. I don't mind it if they consider me attractive, as long as it stops at discreet v. overt. If it goes beyond that, I find it rude. You’re not really mind being looked at like a piece of meat?I do mind being viewed as a piece of meat. Realistically speaking, part of this is how you dress. The current casual fashion is body conscious/tight, for women. Yes, I do follow it to an extent but not overtly. I don't wear short skirts with 5" heels and fishnet stockings. Or a pair of boobs?Once again, it's how you present yourself. If you dress or act in an overtly sexual manner, it will draw sexual attention. If you don't like it, don't dress or act in this manner. I may be just an offspring of a feminist generation, but seriously girls, are you really happy with how the things are at the moment? In reality, no, I don't like the culture because it causes too many instances of eating disorders, image issues and low self-esteem...
PandorasBox Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 What used to get me about my ex husband was, he could stare all day long at a woman. But...if I did it to another man, he would get pissed off and accuse me of wanting them. But...oh you better know it was ok for him to do it.
Trialbyfire Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 What used to get me about my ex husband was, he could stare all day long at a woman. But...if I did it to another man, he would get pissed off and accuse me of wanting them. But...oh you better know it was ok for him to do it. I hope you called him on his inequitable behaviour. I would have mocked the hell outta' someone like that by staring at men with my mouth open, using a kleenex to wipe pretend drool from my chin, maybe even putting on a bib, just before leaving home.
Florida Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 I find it sad that the highest ranking men in politics, who have their finger on the nuclear bomb buttons will cause scandal and bring their careers plus family lives to a grinding halt to get a bit of blood rush to the winky. Life is absurd.
Florida Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 :laugh: I hope you called him on his inequitable behaviour. I would have mocked the hell outta' someone like that by staring at men with my mouth open, using a kleenex to wipe pretend drool from my chin, maybe even putting on a bib, just before leaving home.
PandorasBox Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 I hope you called him on his inequitable behaviour. I would have mocked the hell outta' someone like that by staring at men with my mouth open, using a kleenex to wipe pretend drool from my chin, maybe even putting on a bib, just before leaving home. Well of course I called him out on it. Several times infact. He made it very obvious when he would do it too. So thought I'd do it back. I wanted to see if maybe, just maybe he would stop doing it once he got a taste of his own medicine. Nope, instead he just got mad and accused me of wanting another man. Come to find out, Ol' Mr. looker himself wasn't just lookin. So he became an EX.
lindya Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 But I have to ask one more time. Do you girls really don’t mind when you see a bunch of guys staring at a passing female? Do you really don’t mind to see, what looks like a group of decent males, to totally lose control over themselves just because a girl passing has a nice pair of tits? Or legs. Or whatever. Really, how I feel about men staring depends on how I perceive the subject of their stares feeling about it. If she looks as though she's enjoying the attention then fair play. If she looks upset/embarrassed, then I'm likely to feel annoyed.
Florida Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Well of course I called him out on it. Several times infact. He made it very obvious when he would do it too. So thought I'd do it back. I wanted to see if maybe, just maybe he would stop doing it once he got a taste of his own medicine. Nope, instead he just got mad and accused me of wanting another man. Come to find out, Ol' Mr. looker himself wasn't just lookin. So he became an EX. What? Like he would give them his # too?
Mustang Sally Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Men are such carnal creatures That's (one reason) why we love 'em so much, isn't it?
Trialbyfire Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Well of course I called him out on it. Several times infact. He made it very obvious when he would do it too. So thought I'd do it back. I wanted to see if maybe, just maybe he would stop doing it once he got a taste of his own medicine. Nope, instead he just got mad and accused me of wanting another man. Come to find out, Ol' Mr. looker himself wasn't just lookin. So he became an EX. There's no saving a low self-esteem individual like a cheater except to give them what they want. The freedom to do what they want, as single individuals, regardless if they want the freedom or not. I'm totally unrepentant and remorseless when it comes to mocking stupidity/inequity of this nature. I woulda' kept on doing it in a way that was so obviously ridiculous, that it would have clearly penetrated. Probably not the type of penetration he would have preferred but hey, thas life baby.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 That's (one reason) why we love 'em so much, isn't it? Yes indeed, now, if only I could find one on the carnal side...lol
JackJack Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Its not just men that look. I dated a woman years ago before I met my now wife, who was like that. We could go out to eat, shopping, to the movies, where ever, and she was always staring at other guys. I called her out on it, she acted like she wasn't aware she was doing it. I bought that for awhile but then noticed she still would do it ALOT, I got rid of her. I didn't have time for head games. I look at it like this, If I have enough respect to NOT do it to someone I'm with, I expect it in return. It was probably one the the best things I had done.
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