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I would like a second chance.


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Posted

Hi everyone. If you have read my previous posts you know my story. Here's the thing. It's been six months and even though I am doing fine without her I want my ex back. This seems like a tall order at this point, but I am interested to get anyone's insight on how I might go about this. Basically she broke it off after 5 months citing personality differencesand was pretty rude in how she handled the whole thing. She also was all over the map it seemed. We have had very little communication since the break up (despite her telling me that she wasn't telling me to get lost). Pretty much all the communication has come from me. The last communication was initiated from her, however. Accusing me of giving her number to someone from whom she received a nasty message from and teling "us" to leave her alone. I didn't give her # to anyone. I basically replied to the message denying her accusation, but had no desire or energy to communicate with her at that point. So when she replied I did not reply back.

 

The fact is that i made some mistakes. Bad mistakes. I got scared and did stupid things. Lesson learned believe me. Anyway, it may be foolish at this point given how she has treated me, but if I wanted to work on getting her back what would you suggest I do? I am talking to other women, but I realize that she was a good catch and want to make an effort to get her back. Your input is greatly appreciated.

Posted

Well, I think it would be wise to consider waiting until after the holidays before trying anything. (I would say the same to anyone.) Make sure that there's no influence from what is commonly referred to as the 'holiday blues' when people are feeling down this time of year. If you feel you want to initiate any contact, just keep it as a simple happy holidays message.

 

If, after that, you still feel the same way.. Try to start up a friendly conversation.. maybe flirt a little and see what happens.

 

Since it has been six months, don't think of it as a second chance.. More like starting again from the beginning. Leave the past where it is along with what has happened. (Don't bring up the past. It's easy to tear open healing wounds and revisit things best left alone. Save any discussions about that for later down the road, if you reach that point.)

Posted

Based on what you've stated I wouldn't go back. Nonetheless, let's assume this isn't a temporary girly stage you're going through, that you've got all your marbles and that you actually want to do this...

 

Here's one potential scenario (I'm what you might consider a recovering chump so this is the best I can come up with, others may have better advice)...

 

01) Physically contact her (try to not use the phone/email/etc where she has control over the situation - e.g. hangs up the phone/doesn't reply.)

 

02) Tell her she is worth the effort (keep it short, your aim here is to get her interested in the conversation/hang around.) If you can do it, bring up some positive examples of the relationship (i.e. when she was having fun/enjoying herself as a result of being with you.)

 

03) Then, most importantly, tell her that YOU are worth the effort. Emphasize the benefits of being with you. Use the FUD (fear/uncertainty/doubt) factor if you have to. Overall, you want to end your presentation/case on a positive note, so don't go overboard in terms of your "I'm Mr Wonderful" monologue.

 

04) State that you are interested in rekindling the relationship (i.e. DON'T ASK her for a second chance.) Then say something like "So, I suggest we get together this Saturday and have a fun/enjoyable/romantic dinner."

 

05) Then wait for the response.

 

06) If it's a negative response. Give it another shot (I'd probably use FUD here if I were you.) If it's still another negative response. Thank her for her time, walk away and never look back.

 

07) If it's a positive response, send me a cheque. :)

Posted

From what you said she broke your heart.The only way you guys will have another shot isnt up to you.Its up to destiny.So you have to live life to the fullest. Be the best you can be.So if you guys do bump into eachother youll be over her and if she wants to get back with you it will be on your terms or if you dont bump into eachother youll look back at your memories with her and know you became a stronger person because all of this.

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Posted

Thanks everyone for your input. I realize it's a really tall order at this point. I am pretty much sticking to no contact in hopes that she will reach out to me eventually, but given how she has acted during and since the break up i'm not too optimistic. Especially since she said she wansn't telling me to get lost and was rather fickle at the end. It's in the Lords hands at this point.

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