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in a daze. getting divorced.... in a funk


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Posted

hi all..

I have been married a year when my hub. decided he didn't want to be married after all, we have been together 2.5 years and he could not stop talking about these other women, tonight... I found nude pics of a woman he swore up and down they were 'just friends'...

not just nude but REALLY CLOSE UP.. ahem,. well you get the picture.

 

He left me because "he missed his gal pals" which I am glad its good riddance to bad rubbish.. but it hurts so bad I've been in this non sleeping daze for weeks.

 

I don't know what to do with myself or what to think, I have blocked his emails, and I do not visit his personal profile pages...

 

I just am so completely out of whack and feel like I am just a walking piece of sadness.

I spend time with friends, I have a young son ( not his) but he left me so financially screwed, because one day he just picked up and left out of the blue.

 

Anyone been through this. I feel so....mad/sad/relieved/....

 

any comfort would be appreciated...

Posted

Well I am having some marriage problems myself so take my advice lightly:laugh:

 

No seriously, I think he sounds like a dishonest jerk. There are better

guys out there that will be honest with you and not cheat on you

or most important wouldn't leave you high and dry as a human being

like that snake.

 

I say be glad you only wasted X number of years with the creep

 

As for dealing with it I say exercise and try to have a sense

of humor and then go out and get back on the horse (if you want another

relationship) or do something for yourself, improve things, get more education, better job, do stuff you always wanted to do AS LONG AS YOU

get you financial picture squared away

 

As for sleeping better if you exercise early in the morning you will usually be tired at the end of the day. Sleep is so important so try real hard to go to bed early and get up early. Even getting up at 5-5:30 can really help

and get you going, exercise, take care of things etc

 

I hope you feel better is the main thing. Don't be a victim that is the worse thing. Of the three things you mentioned BE RELIEVED is what I would say you feel

Posted

Well this January my wife suddenly moved out without warning. We lived together 7.5 years and married under two.The divorce was final at the beginning of September. Sure there were a lot of factors and I had all the blame heaped upon me. Truth is it takes two to make it or break it and in the end she was the one who left... didn't even give me a chance to be ready for it.

 

anyhow..

 

The previous poster has it right. Take care of yourself, do things for yourself, exercise helps a lot with the blues. Be a bit selfish and self centered for a little while. Work on your own life. It takes time to recover from it and you have to be pro active. You have to force yourself to stop thinking about them, the past and what happened. You're probably PO'd at him too... use that as a prybar to force him out of your head and heart. Just know when to let that anger go..

 

Seems like for a lot of people, once the wedding is done and it's really time to settle into a life together they just cut and run. The wedding and marriage aren't a goal but just the beginning.

 

I wouldn't look for any relationships for a while until you get to feeling normal and happy without anyone else.

 

A lot of times it hurts to learn in life. Find out what you've learned and move on. The world is full of people looking for the right other to compliment thier lives. I learned to be a lot more choosy in the future should I ever consider marriage again. I also learned that I will never allow myself to become weak and passive in a relationship again.

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