Rowen Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 after meeting with my ex for coffee on saturday and a greaet meeting at that. She comes online and I say hey... she says hey.. she says shes warming up chicken broth for her self... then she randomly says her "BF" came over to her moms house after drinking a 2/6 and passed out on her bed and is crying for an hour and he won't /can't talk to her. She then said "im really sorry.. I really am.. but I will have to talk to you under better circumstances" WHAT THE ****! it almost seems surreal.. what the hell... is this real? She said her bf is a recovering alchoholic.. wtf.... wtf...wtf.... Link to post Share on other sites
Freddy Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 Look on the bright side, this could be a sign this guy not going to last! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowen Posted December 19, 2007 Author Share Posted December 19, 2007 That is true... But it's just weird.. she said it was his first relapse..... "their" apartment is apprently just blocks away from her moms house.. and she went out for coffee with me one block from their apartment on saturday. Link to post Share on other sites
Freddy Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 How comes she was at her moms when they have their own apartment? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowen Posted December 19, 2007 Author Share Posted December 19, 2007 Also a note: she is hafl living with him.. half with her mom still. There is something that really does not add up in this whole situation................ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowen Posted December 19, 2007 Author Share Posted December 19, 2007 How comes she was at her moms when they have their own apartment? She got a kitty.. and i know her mom never let her have a cat at her house becuase she is allergic. but... who's taking care of the cat??????? and as i posted above.. she saaid shes half living with this guy half with her mom.. and also still looking for new own place i guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Freddy Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 Yes something weird is going on I agree. Hopefully she'll let you know what's going on soon. Would he cheat on her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowen Posted December 19, 2007 Author Share Posted December 19, 2007 Also to add:: it's extra weird... beucase after our breakup I revealed to her that had been drinking more than I let on. A few times i went to her house and she smelled the alchohol.... so could she be telling me something? i dont know... Also.. our biggest fight which triggered the break up was when I was absolutely hammered at my friends house and she called and i got really jealous and drove home.... yes i know.. i drove home... hammered and talking to her on my cell. THis scared her. But she knows im fixing myself. Ive been going to AA and we've talked about it... i limit myself to two drinks now. Link to post Share on other sites
Freddy Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 I wouldn't let it drive you crazy tonight until you get all the facts. But I know turning off the brain is sometimes hard to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowen Posted December 19, 2007 Author Share Posted December 19, 2007 It really is brother^ The weird thing for me.. is that she reminissed big time with me last thursday then asked to hang out with me and flirted.. this was all before....BEFORE............. her "bf's" relapse.. happend tonight.... Link to post Share on other sites
Freddy Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 Just my opinion that she's keeping you in check in case her current bf doesn't work out. I certainly understand because of my circumstances. You got to be all you can be for yourself right now. I don't know why are exs go off and do what they want to do and leave us hangin. That's why I question why we want someone like that. Do we really believe that things will be different if we get the 2nd chance? What are your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowen Posted December 19, 2007 Author Share Posted December 19, 2007 Just my opinion that she's keeping you in check in case her current bf doesn't work out. I certainly understand because of my circumstances. You got to be all you can be for yourself right now. I don't know why are exs go off and do what they want to do and leave us hangin. That's why I question why we want someone like that. Do we really believe that things will be different if we get the 2nd chance? What are your thoughts? yeah, it very well could be. Unless she was dumped by him already and shes doing this to save face with me.. i don't know? Something? ugh.. You know.. ive thought about this for a long time. I am one to really believe in second chances and the greater good in people. I know shes a good person, she just has issues.. like all of us. She is a very kind hearted person, a bit bi polar, but she had a poor childhood. I think they would be. From my perspective, I feel I have changed alot and I think our relationship would benefit greatly. I just hope that if there is a second chance, that she has changed as well. As much as it hurts.. you don't know until you try. Link to post Share on other sites
Freddy Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 I wrote a girlfriend of mine and she doesn't know my story but this is what she wrote back. I just wanted to get an unbias point of view from someone not on LS. Do what your heart tells you to do...if you miss her and think there could be a reconciliation, then why not give it a shot (or at least start slow and see where things go?) ANyway, i hope that helps. It does sound you miss her and really want to move towards getting back together, but that you are hesitant after what happened (which i think is normal), but sometimes when you don't make a move...nothing ever happens, because both sides can be stubborn. So if you think she is worth it, and you miss her (which it sounds like you do sinc eyou broke up in **** and still thinking about her in December), then give it a shot! YOu only live once...but again...be cautious!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowen Posted December 19, 2007 Author Share Posted December 19, 2007 I wrote a girlfriend of mine and she doesn't know my story but this is what she wrote back. I just wanted to get an unbias point of view from someone not on LS. Do what your heart tells you to do...if you miss her and think there could be a reconciliation, then why not give it a shot (or at least start slow and see where things go?) ANyway, i hope that helps. It does sound you miss her and really want to move towards getting back together, but that you are hesitant after what happened (which i think is normal), but sometimes when you don't make a move...nothing ever happens, because both sides can be stubborn. So if you think she is worth it, and you miss her (which it sounds like you do sinc eyou broke up in **** and still thinking about her in December), then give it a shot! YOu only live once...but again...be cautious!! Good advice. I am taking this really slow. I am trying to be there for her. It seems that her issues with her BF have gone beyond tonight.. since she was so flirtatious and slightly coming on to me on saturday and the days before. I really dont know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Davey McG Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 I think you need to completely cut contact and not give in on that. Seriously, this is not healthy for you. Buy being at her beck and call you are just allowing yourself to be used as an emotional crutch and some sort of ego boost for when she feels bad about herself. You guys broke up in September right? And this is still dragging on after a relatively short relationship. I don't want to sound like a naysayer, but she is using you - perhaps without knowing it. The advice you have got on this thread so far is from someone who appears to be in a similar situation and is being hopeful, but in all honesty this isn't going to help. The best thing you can do is let it go. Put it down to experience and get on with your life. I know its easier said than done, but there is no way a woman will find a guy attractive who still hangs around waiting like a puppy despite the fact that they've broken up and she's with another guy! I don't mean to sound pessimistic or crititcal, I just think you're causing yourself pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowen Posted December 19, 2007 Author Share Posted December 19, 2007 I think you need to completely cut contact and not give in on that. Seriously, this is not healthy for you. Buy being at her beck and call you are just allowing yourself to be used as an emotional crutch and some sort of ego boost for when she feels bad about herself. You guys broke up in September right? And this is still dragging on after a relatively short relationship. I don't want to sound like a naysayer, but she is using you - perhaps without knowing it. The advice you have got on this thread so far is from someone who appears to be in a similar situation and is being hopeful, but in all honesty this isn't going to help. The best thing you can do is let it go. Put it down to experience and get on with your life. I know its easier said than done, but there is no way a woman will find a guy attractive who still hangs around waiting like a puppy despite the fact that they've broken up and she's with another guy! I don't mean to sound pessimistic or crititcal, I just think you're causing yourself pain. That's another thing.... I basically forced out of her that she had a bf. She did NOT want to tell me 3 weeks ago.. at all. If I had not found out, she would not have told me and right now would be even worse for me beucase I wouldnt h ave even known she has a bf. Link to post Share on other sites
Davey McG Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 Why do you think she didn't want to tell you? Was she afraid that if you found out she had a boyfriend you wouldn't want to talk to her/supporting her? Link to post Share on other sites
82knightrider Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 Shes sounds very decieving.You shouldnt have to force her info out of her. Its better to leave when the relationship comes down to not being able to be open.Theres so many more woman in this world. Theres a time and place for everything . You guys had your place in history and now its time for you to get your step on.Live life. She was a bump in the road now that Will make you a wiser and stronger individual Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowen Posted December 19, 2007 Author Share Posted December 19, 2007 Why do you think she didn't want to tell you? Was she afraid that if you found out she had a boyfriend you wouldn't want to talk to her/supporting her? I really don't know. I think the best bet is that she was scared I would be out of her life for good maybe and just stop all contact. Besides.. whenever she contacts me it's usually after a prolonged period of NC. IE 16 days etc, the last one. before that NC she told me she wished we had talked more. I went NC and then she came back with some emotion towards me. Link to post Share on other sites
Davey McG Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 I think you need to cut all ties and not answer even when she initiates contact after a couple of weeks. It will hurt for a while, but in the long run it will be better for you. If you can be strong and go NC then you will ultimately be happier. Took my old flat-mate a couple of years to realise this and when he did it, it really helped. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowen Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 It's tough.... beucase if I do that it will just anger her. Ive tried before. Anyway, the other night when she told me all of this I caught her being "appearing offline" and just popping up whenever she wanted. She came online.. I didn't send her a message becuase she usually will... i opened a convo... then when she went "offline" i sent her a message.. and she responded! HA! Link to post Share on other sites
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