heartlight Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Long distance plus age gap too Hi, I'm in a relationship that's seemingly changing. I'm older than he is by 26 years. We've been seeing each other for about 10 months now. He works out of town and when he is here, our time is limited. We've been out to dinner and such, but our time is spent mostly talking, watching TV and making love. Then he is off to work again. We've had a few spats. But only one serious one. Sometimes it is as long as 2 months or so before we see each other. We tell each other we love each other. And he has even said that, during one spat when he said that he loved me, he didn't just say it to say it, he meant it. I guess what really gets me is the lack of communication between his visits and I begin to feel like just a "stop-off." Of course we are in different stages of life with the gap we have. I try to understand his "place" and I believe he does the same for me too and we give each other allowances for our places. If he were just here more. . .I think it would help. I am in a solid career and could not leave here and he is committed to travel. We are both fairly independent and really don't need to be joined at the hip in order to appreciate our feelings for each other. Tomorrow, I'm leaving to visit my sister for the holidays. He will probably go to his parents' for Christmas. We won't spend any time together, and then it will be back to the same thing in the new year. I'm missing a phone call from him at this time. It is a sad time for me and I'm not wanting to push...a no-no. I did leave a phone message letting him know I wished him a Merry Christmas and let him know when I would return. That's all I can do. There is always this possibility out there that he or I will find someone else. He says he doesn't want marriage (with anyone) and wants to be able to travel whenever he wants to go somewhere on his own. I don't comment. Afraid to break the spell, but sometimes I just want to tell him how much I love and need him in my life until the day I die and beg him to be mine. I just don't think that an older woman looks very good chasing after a younger man, though, like that, and I don't say anything of that nature to him. Except I will call or email him occationally on a neutral happy tone. He says he hasn't been dating or anything. (He's on a 6 month contract outof town). I wonder. I wonder, sometimes if I am constantly being gaslighted by him. But my gut tells me "no" one day, and "yes" another day. Is there anyone out there with an experience remotely similar or do you see something here that I am blinded to? There is a little time that he could still contact me before I leave on my trip. If he doesn't, what assumption would you make of that? Any? My mind says that if he doesn't contact me that I should let it go and not turn back, even if he contacts me later on...after all it is the Christmas holiday and time for being in touch with those you care about. This will hurt a lot if he doesn't try to contact me pretty soon. To me, if he doesn't, it is over. Again, is there anyone out there with an experience even remotely similar or do you see something here that I am blinded to? I don't want to play any games. I just think maybe I know the answers to my own questions, but am afraid to look squarely at the truth and move on. (This must be one of those "yes" days I'm having in my gut.) I'm wanting the facts. Afraid I may be deluding myself and playing the part of a fool.
Recommended Posts