Author bagelwithbutter Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 Do you fool around? Have oral sex? Masterbate together? I can understand the pill thing, but being too lazy to go out to buy condoms is a pretty bad excuse NOT to have sex. Just go and get a big box, put away in the drawer...Or is it that HE doesn't like to wear them? we don't do anything anymore. in the beginning we did EVERYTHING. we couldn't be stopped. now i don't feel like it and i'm too embarrassed to be seen buying condoms.
norajane Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 but would that spark and passion die out too? i just don't know if there's more out there or if every relatoinship ends up being like this. Are you saying that you and your bf used to have that passion? You used to have sex all the time, and totally turned each other on, and now you're no longer turned on? Or were you never really that hot for each other?
popey Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 but would that spark and passion die out too? i just don't know if there's more out there or if every relatoinship ends up being like this. this sounds like you are staying with him, less b/c you found what you want and more b/c you fear you won't find what you want.
Author bagelwithbutter Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 Are you saying that you and your bf used to have that passion? You used to have sex all the time, and totally turned each other on, and now you're no longer turned on? Or were you never really that hot for each other? we used to have sex three times a day and were totally hot for eachother.
Author bagelwithbutter Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 that died out a year later.
whichwayisup Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 we don't do anything anymore. in the beginning we did EVERYTHING. we couldn't be stopped. now i don't feel like it and i'm too embarrassed to be seen buying condoms. You say you're 26 or 28 years old? (sorry, can't remember) well, hate to say it but you need to get over that embarrassment! EVERYONE does it and many people use condoms, so don't feel bashful about buying them! If you were 16 then yeah, I could see why you'd feel shy and embarressed, but at your age, you shouldn't be feeling that way... Okay, well the bottomline is, you're settling for this guy and he's settling for you. My guess is you're both unhappy with the sex life but are too afraid to do anything about it to either make it better or fear of talking about it, and realizing that the relationship, atleast the sexual part of it, is dead. Anyway, I do hope you talk to him because you WILL be unhappy in 10 years if marry him and you don't have a sex life with him.
Trialbyfire Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Buying condoms isn't the problem here...
norajane Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Buying condoms isn't the problem here... You can buy those online, you know...
norajane Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 that died out a year later. So you haven't been having much sex for two years? Is that the kind of relationship you want?
Trialbyfire Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 You can buy those online, you know... I didn't know that. There you go, a solution to life's embarrassing drug store shopping trips.
oppath Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 I didn't know that. There you go, a solution to life's embarrassing drug store shopping trips. I just buy them in combination with something else. I used to buy razorblades and apples, nothing else, on halloween just to see if the cashier would look at me funny. "Anything else?" "Nope, got everything I need. It's halloween." Add condoms to that. Seriously, it's not embarrassing. Chances are, the cashier isn't getting it on that night. I've boughten condoms and been given a high five. I buy them with my girlfriends on my arm in line. You get over it once you do it once or twice.
alterego1234 Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 but we'd be such a good pair! Sounds to me like you're trying to convince yourself. I have a rule for myself -- I'm not marrying again unless my brain, my heart, and my groin all vote yes. First time around I got 2 out of 3 votes. Sounds to me like you don't even have 2 votes. ae
Keara Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 I find it odd that the bf leaves his gf while he rushes off to the next bar for last call. Is that how he normally treats you Bagel? Seems to me that your bf might not be fulfilling your needs, and in turn your sex drive has dropped off the planet. Since his needs (sex) aren't being fulfilled he's stopped being as attentive and stopped working to fulfill your needs. Vicious cycle. And it doesn't matter who started it... what matters is who ends it (or if it ends). So now you're getting the warm fuzzy from a man who does give you the attention you crave. And although you would prefer this from your bf, its a need and its going to be met one way or the other. Its human nature. You need to have a serious heart to heart with your bf. Ask your bf to commit more energy to the relationship for a while. Commit yourself to doing those things that he suggested in the past and you laughed off. He asked for them because those are things he wanted, and if you can't provide it or offer a comprimise to fulfill it, then he's going to lose the desire to give you the things you want (or need). Find out exactly what he needs from you, and tell him (in simple and plain words) what you need from him. Then put the energy into making it happen. Stop making excuses for not doing it. But you need your bf's help with this. Most men are a little dense when it comes to problems. You might need to spell it out to him. He knows there's something not quite great about the relationship, or he wouldn't be ditching you to chase after beer... but he might not have the tools to resolve this on his own. You two need to talk, comprimise, and agree together about ways to change the relationship to make both of you happier. Ie.. spend the energy on making the other person feel like they're worth the energy you're giving them. If it doesn't feel worth it to you, then get out of the relationship.
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