Author bagelwithbutter Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 To have a sexless relationship so early on, sorry, but later in life this WILL be a big issue. You see it now as you see other couples that have that passion and intimacy. Talk to your bf about this, and work together to bring that passion back. MAKE the effort, go that extra step, do nice things for eachother, have romance, and affection, hopefully with effort from BOTH of you, that passion can be re-lit in the bedroom again. i don't know what more to do!! i do things whn i feel like doing things and if never feel like being romantic, am i supposed to fake it?
Author bagelwithbutter Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 when i was holding the dudes hand, it was like a jolt of the warm fuzzies. i think that's why i have so much fuilt. i didn't feel the same thing when i held my boyfriend's hand last.
D-Lish Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 you sound as if you are looking for an excuse to leave the relationship.
oppath Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 you sound as if you are looking for an excuse to leave the relationship. Don't leave. For the love of God, I always end up with the ones who just left their boyfriends . You have some issues with your bf. Identify them and work on them.
norajane Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 i don't know what more to do!! i do things whn i feel like doing things and if never feel like being romantic, am i supposed to fake it? Hmm, sounds like you guys don't do foreplay allll day, so your engines are never revved up for sex. Do you tickle and tease during the day? Do you send each other sexy texts about what you'd like to do to each other when you or he gets home? Do you ever walk by him and just plant a hot, sexy kiss on him? Do you touch each other during the day, like maybe squeezing his butt when he bends over to pick up the remote control, or does he kiss the back of your neck when you're sitting at the computer? Do you ever buy sexy lingerie (or whatever he thinks is sexy), and do a little dancy-strip tease for him? When you are out in a bar drinking, does he ever whisper into your ear how hot you are and how he can't wait to get you home? Do you ever do that to him? Sex starts in the mind, long before you go to bed. Maybe if you start thinking about sex, and get each other excited during the day, you'll actually want to have sex. Do you masturbate? Does he know what turns you on? Do you know what his turn-ons are?
Trialbyfire Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 How old are you and your b/f bagelwithbutter?
whichwayisup Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 when i was holding the dudes hand, it was like a jolt of the warm fuzzies. i think that's why i have so much fuilt. i didn't feel the same thing when i held my boyfriend's hand last. So it sounds like you and your bf don't have sexual tension/sexual energy between you two anymore? You need to talk to him, I mean 3 years of a relationship and the sexual part isn't like it was, well, it will only get worse if you two don't try to spice it up and bring back that passion. This is a reason why some people cheat later on, feel neglected etc...
Citizen Erased Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Don't leave. For the love of God, I always end up with the ones who just left their boyfriends . You have some issues with your bf. Identify them and work on them. I must be special then. I still have a boyfriend.
Author bagelwithbutter Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 How old are you and your b/f bagelwithbutter? we are 25 and 26
Citizen Erased Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 we are 25 and 26 Oh wow I thought you were around 18.
Author bagelwithbutter Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 Oh wow I thought you were around 18. no, i am old as dirt. the guy i held hands with is older yet. this isn't a game of teenagers. har har
Trialbyfire Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 we are 25 and 26 Right now, you and your b/f are very close friends, with cuddle rights. Do both of you a favour. Don't get married.
Author bagelwithbutter Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 Right now, you and your b/f are very close friends, with cuddle rights. Do both of you a favour. Don't get married. but we'd be such a good pair!
Citizen Erased Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 but we'd be such a good pair! Obviously not. Sex is very important in a marriage, I'm not even married and I know that! It will only get worse and create so many problems.
Author bagelwithbutter Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 Obviously not. Sex is very important in a marriage, I'm not even married and I know that! It will only get worse and create so many problems. maybe i need sex therapy then
Trialbyfire Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 but we'd be such a good pair! Both of you are in the prime of your sex-drives and all you want to do is cuddle in bed. You hold hands with another guy through a snow storm, behind your b/fs back, requiring external validation. If you get married "as is", you're the recipe for an affair. Either go to couple's counseling to work on your relationship or find someone who rings your bell. Being good together as cuddle buddies, just isn't enough to sustain a healthy marriage.
popey Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 If I knew that my bf held hands like that with a woman he has had a crush on and finds attractive, didn't let go the whole walk, and had a warm and fuzzy feeling about it. I wouldn't think, omg, he's a horrible person. I would however be very hurt, and feel that we didn't have what I thought we had. And I would be wondering what would've happened if the woman had charmingly try to take it further.
Author bagelwithbutter Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 If I knew that my bf held hands like that with a woman he has had a crush on and finds attractive, didn't let go the whole walk, and had a warm and fuzzy feeling about it. I wouldn't think, omg, he's a horrible person. I would however be very hurt, and feel that we didn't have what I thought we had. And I would be wondering what would've happened if the woman had charmingly try to take it further. i would be hurt if the roles were reversed too. instead i'm the bad guy. i don't want to hurt anyone.
whichwayisup Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 maybe i need sex therapy then If you feel like you should, then do so. Another thing is, get a full physical from your Dr, to make sure that everything is okay. For all you know you could have a thyroid problem that is interferring with your sex drive. The thing is, the longer you and your bf ignore this issue and pretend it doesn't matter, the more it WILL matter later.
whichwayisup Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 You aren't the bad guy unless you just can't be bothered to put in the effort or don't care that you don't have a good sex life. Talk to him, see if maybe he feels the same way. IF he does, are you OK with a so-so sex life for the rest of your life if you marry this guy?
Author bagelwithbutter Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 You aren't the bad guy unless you just can't be bothered to put in the effort or don't care that you don't have a good sex life. Talk to him, see if maybe he feels the same way. IF he does, are you OK with a so-so sex life for the rest of your life if you marry this guy? well, i also refuse to go on birth control and neither of us like to go out and buy condoms, so we just don't do it.
norajane Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 but we'd be such a good pair! Not for long. Eventually, you would meet a man who did turn you on and who lit your fire and had you deeply regretting that you didn't feel that way about your husband. Or he would meet a woman who made him feel that spark, that passion. And then how good would things be when you realized what you were missing out on in your marriage?
Trialbyfire Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 well, i also refuse to go on birth control and neither of us like to go out and buy condoms, so we just don't do it. Excuses. You'd find a way if you were that in love, laying together in a bed.
Author bagelwithbutter Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 Not for long. Eventually, you would meet a man who did turn you on and who lit your fire and had you deeply regretting that you didn't feel that way about your husband. Or he would meet a woman who made him feel that spark, that passion. And then how good would things be when you realized what you were missing out on in your marriage? but would that spark and passion die out too? i just don't know if there's more out there or if every relatoinship ends up being like this.
whichwayisup Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 well, i also refuse to go on birth control and neither of us like to go out and buy condoms, so we just don't do it. Do you fool around? Have oral sex? Masterbate together? I can understand the pill thing, but being too lazy to go out to buy condoms is a pretty bad excuse NOT to have sex. Just go and get a big box, put away in the drawer...Or is it that HE doesn't like to wear them?
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