sillyme2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 I am not sure how or why I ended up here, but I hope it's one of my better choices. A background....I got married 5 years ago been with the H a total of 8 years, he's a good guy really. He spends more time in front of a mirror than I, but so what? We have 2 kids a boy and a girl old enough to realize mom and dad are not doing ok. It's been bad for about a year maybe more. I don't trust women because I have been burnt before by them, I currently have 2 that I trust. Anyway one of them my H has built a fondness for, and although he denies it, it's VERY clear, in fact I even questioned her sincerity of friendship. I just found out he has been texting, IMing, even went to her home, without me knowing not even a mention from him of talking to her. NOT ONE WORD EVER! I also found out that in not so many words he admitted to her that he has feelings for her. I am in shock, even with all the signs of things like this over the years, and I know in my heart he hasn;t physically cheated, what he has been doing would in my eyes be intentioned not in favor of a united marriage. Maybe an emotional type affair>Right now I don't know what to do, what to say, I am functioning maybe because I knew something wasn't right, but still how far is to far? Am I reading into this to far? Guys would you do any of this when in a relasionship? And what would the womens reactions be>Should I leave I have two kids? any advice is appreciated.
Mr. Lucky Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 I wouldn't do any of the things you describe when in a relationship as they are obviously damaging to the trust a marriage needs to survive. Where are you at in terms of confronting your H on this? Hard to give advice without being able to place his actions in context. Is this out of the blue? Does he have one foot out the door? What does he say? Mr. Lucky
Author sillyme2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 I found out lastnight, had few drinks to calm me, went home was planning on saying something, but I don't even know where to start. If he never said any of things to me, and he has no idea I talked with her, then he will(I am gusseing just lie about it to me face) Like he already has, and then make her out to be the bad guy. I thought about kicking him out, but my kids?and how will I afford it on my own. I have looked at a place for just me and the kids, but he couldn't afford staying here either alone. The holidays coming, family wants to see us, they have no idea of the depth of the situation, we are suppossed to go to them(they live far) and not that I care at this moment if he spends christmas alone, but my kids are going to want their dad with us, which it is an overnight thing. So I am debating to wait until after the holidays. I just don't know.
Mr. Lucky Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 Well, if it were me, I'd want to discuss it regardless of the approaching holidays. Stop looking at places or fretting over things you can't control and sit down and talk to him about it. You can't make any decisions in a vaccuum and he may offer up some info that might push you in a different direction. Don't delay... Mr. Lucky
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