GRITS07 Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I’ve recently started talking to a man, 9 years younger than me which I’m truly smitten with. I’ve only started talking to him and I’m impressed with his outlook in life and his ambitions. BTW, we met for the first time last weekend over coffee. Here are a few of my concerns. 1) He’s 9 years younger; 2) He’s sort of broke, with good reason, he’s going to school (41 year old, just getting out of the military and going back to school); I can honestly say, I’m attracted to him and notwithstanding the above and knowing that I’m a person who concentrates on one man at a time, should I let my other male friends that I’m off limits for now? Or, is that putting the cart before the horse? I almost feel like I shouldn't see any one else as I’m truly interested in this guy and I don’t want to lead others guys on. As I’ve stated before, I really suck at this dating stuff so I honestly need some advise.
shockandawed Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Grits, It seems really soon to be taking yourself off the market. How has he been since the date? Is he calling? Do you have plans for a 2nd date? I think only you can decide what is best. I think it is a little early to lock in, but I do admire you for not wanting to keep alot of other guys dangling on the string.
Author GRITS07 Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 Yes, we talk to each other every day. We're planning to see each other this weekend but therein lies the problem. I have several others that want me to go out with them as well. Even though I technically don't have a for sure date with this new guy - we're just talking about it, should I hold off on making plans with others until I know for sure what his intents are? That almost sounds like I'm using other guys (and they are very nice people) as plan B and I certainly wouldn't want to be treated that way.
Jilly Bean Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I dunno. If I was 50, like you, I wouldn't be into a dude who's broke at 41. Even if he was busy serving our great country... I need a guy who can keep up in a lot of arenas, and that includes financially. But, this may not matter at all to you. If I were you, I would totally keep my options open and continue to date other guys.
Author GRITS07 Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 You are totally right. I don't want to be a sugar momma, but he will have a great job once he finishes med. school, it's just that it's a few years down the road. My thought was that I'm not planning on marrying anyone anytime soon so I may be around for a couple of years and who knows? In the meantime, I'll see him and see if it's worth hanging onto for a few years.
D-Lish Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I have been dating younger men a whole lot since my divorce 4 years ago. Some as young as 13 years my junior. I don't think age is a big deal. I do think the no car-no money issue is a problem though. I have found myself being okay with it at first, and then growing to resent it. I dated a young guy for a while that i was always driving back and forth, and we rarely had proper dates because he didn't have the cash flow. Why not take it slow and see where it goes.
Author GRITS07 Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 We talked last night and he wants so much to properly date me. He is very concerned that I am well established and he's feeling a little insecure about it as he knows he has nothing to offer yet. He is making huge plans for proper dating without spending a lot of money and there are tons of things you can do, in my opinion, that aren't very expensive. Watching movies, cooking dinner together, walks on the beach, walks in the park, coffee at a book store just to name a few. Actually, I find it a little refreshing as I've been with someone with a lot of money and frankly that comes with a whole set of other issues - arragance being one of them. This guy is very humble and I have no doubt he'll plan dates that are meaningful and insightful. I dunno, I really feel a connection here and I know money should be a concern of mine and I'll take it slow and see how this plays out, but I have a feeling he's going to be very creative in our courtship.
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