peace_pipe Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I haven't been here in a while. Good to see some familiar folks. Merry Christmas!! Well, I have been dating a woman I have known for almost a year. I'll call her "Mary Jane" lol. We've been dating a few months. She treats me pretty well overall. The sex is good... Here comes the bad part. Mary Jane has a half sister "Buzz Kill" who is 27 years old. This half sister has no job and isn't looking for one. She also drinks a lot. "Buzz Kill" tends to find her way into almost everything her sister does. I kind of pity the girl, but I am not a big fan of pity-parties. I feel like if her sis would have a life of her own - it wouldn't be a problem. The other thing is that "Buzz Kill" never has any money, therefore never contributes. Every time she comes over she swigs down all my liquor, then gets obnoxious, loud drunk. She never even contributes by bringing her own. This brings me to yet another issue. Since "Buzz Kill" has no money, Mary Jane is pretty much supporting her. It all came to a head last night. Mary invited Buzz Kill to her company Christmas party!!! We were supposed to have a date, well I went for a few hours. Mary basically ignored me. The 2.5 hours i was there, she may have said 2 sentences. She literally sat with her back towards me most of the time. Of course, Buzz Kill began to get obnoxious drunk so I quietly slipped away and went home. (Had to work today). So Mary calls me a few hours later. I pretty much tell her what I wrote above. Then I hear "Buzz Kill" in the background saying "You're just anal..." Well, I went off. It pissed me off that she would have her Sis listen in on the conversation like that. I hung up and went to bed. How would she like it if I had her on speaker phone while my best friend was listening? Come on... Well, mary admitted to me that "Buzz Kill" has caused friction in her past relationships. But she also says that "Buzz Kill" is like her best friend. I don't want to chose this girl's friends but her Sis is super annoying!! What would you guys do??? Merry Christmas!!!
Geishawhelk Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Hya Speaking as a woman, you know what I'd do....? Wave bye-bye! You're going out with 'Mary Jane', not 'buzz-kill'. If you have a GF, you have a right to just have a GF, not a GF+1. If 'Mary-Jane' has a problem with her sister sabotaging her relationships, then I'm afraid it's exactly that. HER problem. But until she sees it, and is willing to actually step up to the mark and do something about it, then I'm afraid the choice of taking on the two, or not at all, is down to you. And like I said, who would want to work that hard? Relationships are hard enough to nurture nowadays, without damaged baggage coming in and ruining the scene.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Honestly? I'd tell her that while she is her sister, she's obviously got a lot of issues, and "Mary" needs to put "Buzz Kill" in her place. (I love that fake name btw. lol.) Seriously though, just tell her hey, you told me she's ruined relationships before, don't let ours be one of the ones she does this to. You have GOT to straighten her out, sit down and talk to her. It's for HER OWN GOOD as well as the good of our relationship. I would also make it very clear that the incident with the phone call was rude and inconsiderate, and that you don't appreciate that sort of behavior. This sister is obviously immature and childish, and your girl shouldn't be afraid to put her in her place.
Author peace_pipe Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 Hya Speaking as a woman, you know what I'd do....? Wave bye-bye! You're going out with 'Mary Jane', not 'buzz-kill'. If you have a GF, you have a right to just have a GF, not a GF+1. Thanks. It's good to hear some affirmation that I am not being "anal". I've been thinking about breaking it off. I'm wondering if that is a bit drastic, given the situation. Her Christmas presents are on the way.... Oh well, anyone need a Fossil watch and a strand of Okaya pearls?
ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Haha I was an assistant manager for Fossil before I left the country. That's funny:-) You're not anal what so ever, like Geishawhelk said, relationships need enough work with out a third wheel making it harder.
Tripper Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Well, mary admitted to me that "Buzz Kill" has caused friction in her past relationships. But she also says that "Buzz Kill" is like her best friend. I don't want to chose this girl's friends but her Sis is super annoying!! What would you guys do??? First off I have to say her actions at the party and in the subsequent phone call were inappropriate. WTF is BK doing listening. But that kind of tells you where you are on her priority list.. You come after BK. You can either accept this as the way it's going to be or if it were me, heck, I'd pack up my booze and say goodbye.. C'mon be honest.. do you really need this crap in your life??
Author peace_pipe Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 Well, the next time we talk, I am going to have to bring this back up. I am going to tell her that her that "Buzz Kill" is not welcome in my house. I am also going to tell her that I won't be hanging out with "Buzz Kill". I'm going to let her know that I don't have a problem with her hanging out with "Buzz Kill", but I won't be involved when she does. That's a lot... don't know how she'll take it. I may be single again real soon. Pearls anyone??? lol
ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I don't think Mary will EVER hold a relationship while BK is in the picture the way she is.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Well, the next time we talk, I am going to have to bring this back up. I am going to tell her that her that "Buzz Kill" is not welcome in my house. I am also going to tell her that I won't be hanging out with "Buzz Kill". I'm going to let her know that I don't have a problem with her hanging out with "Buzz Kill", but I won't be involved when she does. That's a lot... don't know how she'll take it. I may be single again real soon. Pearls anyone??? lol Being single isn't so bad, especially when you compare it to a life of sister misery right? But at this point you're doing the right thing by putting your foot down. BK doesn't respect you and that has got to go.
Author peace_pipe Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 I don't think Mary will EVER hold a relationship while BK is in the picture the way she is. That's too bad, especially considering they are both in their late 20's. When they get together they act more like teenagers - kind of kills my mojo.
Geishawhelk Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Oh well, anyone need a Fossil watch and a strand of Okaya pearls? me me me me me me me me me me!!
Author peace_pipe Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 Being single isn't so bad, especially when you compare it to a life of sister misery right? I agree. I don't mind being single and it is looking more and more attractive everyday.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I wonder what kind it is?? (the watch that is) Titanium? Dress watch? Sports watch> Leather, metal, clasp, adjustomatic?
Author peace_pipe Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 I wonder what kind it is?? (the watch that is) Titanium? Dress watch? Sports watch> Leather, metal, clasp, adjustomatic? Lol!!!! They'll be on Ebay soon..... Happy Bidding!!! lol It really all depends on her reaction.... stay tuned for episode #2....
ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I agree. I don't mind being single and it is looking more and more attractive everyday. See that? You came to us and already you're more optimistic. That's the way to be. After the clouds is the rainbow. Then maybe more clouds, but still another rainbow. My glass is half full til I empty it, then I fill it again. Jagerbomb anybody?
Author peace_pipe Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 See that? You came to us and already you're more optimistic. That's the way to be. After the clouds is the rainbow. Then maybe more clouds, but still another rainbow. My glass is half full til I empty it, then I fill it again. Jagerbomb anybody? Can I borrow your sword??? I may need it later...
ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Lol!!!! They'll be on Ebay soon..... Happy Bidding!!! lol It really all depends on her reaction.... stay tuned for episode #2.... What? The pilot is done already? That's cool, it obviously made the air so I'll be curious about the next one. lol
ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Can I borrow your sword??? I may need it later... Shine and polish after, please. :-)
Tripper Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 It really all depends on her reaction.... stay tuned for episode #2.... Keep us posted, PP..
shockandawed Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Hey Peace Pipe, Sounds like Mary Jane is alright as long as Buzz Kill isn't around...the problem is I doubt that will ever happen.If she hasn't got her stuff together in her late 20s, chances are she never will. I am 43, looking back at people who fit that description when we were in our 20's, I don't think any of them have changed for the better. If you want Mary Jane for casual dating, then fine. But I think you have to look down the road. If you are wanting to eventually get married and have kids someday, then I would run now. I can assure you, marrying Mary Jane would be marrying Buzz as well. Marital strife over how much you support Buzz is guaranteed and what if you have children? Will you be able to limit the exposure or influence your kids have with Aunti Buzz Kill? Creative read btw..
Author peace_pipe Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 Hey Peace Pipe, Sounds like Mary Jane is alright as long as Buzz Kill isn't around...the problem is I doubt that will ever happen.If she hasn't got her stuff together in her late 20s, chances are she never will. I am 43, looking back at people who fit that description when we were in our 20's, I don't think any of them have changed for the better. If you want Mary Jane for casual dating, then fine. But I think you have to look down the road. If you are wanting to eventually get married and have kids someday, then I would run now. I can assure you, marrying Mary Jane would be marrying Buzz as well. Marital strife over how much you support Buzz is guaranteed and what if you have children? Will you be able to limit the exposure or influence your kids have with Aunti Buzz Kill? Creative read btw.. Dude, you read my mind. Well articulated. I guess I'll find out her reaction to my feeling the next time she calls. It's a waiting game right now - 'cause I'm not gonna be calling her.
Author peace_pipe Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 I don't have much to add, but she called as soon as I got home from work last night. Her - "I have your checkbook in my purse. I only called to tell you that." Me - "I don't plan on writing any checks between now and Thursday (when I see her again at work). Just bring it to me then. I have to go because I have a friend on the other line." We both hung up. Good times.... I like how she made sure to mention "I only called to tell you that.". mmmmmmkkkkaaaayyy
ElvenPriestess Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Yeah, b/s excuse, as you know. She was probably sitting there going "Hey! look what I have! A reason to call him!" Games like that suck. And the only reason she added that line was so she could make HERSELF believe it. Don't hand me water and call it vodka.
Author peace_pipe Posted December 20, 2007 Author Posted December 20, 2007 Well, I didn't talk to her at all yesterday. I just saw her at work and she immediately stopped what she was doing to leave the area. Nice..... I guess this is going to be more drawn-out than I thought I'm the kind of person that likes to "get it over with" if you know what I mean. Right now, the "no contact" GAME is more important.
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