audrey88 Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I've had this male friend for a few years. We kept in touch on and off, but we both were seeing other people throughout our friendship. Earlier this year, we both became single, both coming off of long term relationships. We started hanging out together a little more frequently. The other night we went out together and we basicially ended up telling each other that we had feelings for each other, although we were both slightly drunk at the time. I felt that I was too drunk to drive, so he invited me to spend the night. I did, and we spent the whole night cuddling and kissing, and that's it. Except for a little over aggressive kissing, he was a perfect gentleman the whole night. When we woke up in the morning, we stayed in bed for hours talking and playing around and kissing. When I left, he walked me to my car and gave me a kiss goodbye and told me that he would call me after my finals since he knew I would be studying until then. He ended up calling me later that night, or early the next morning, depending on how you look at it. I didn't answer because I was sleeping, but returned the phone call the next day when I woke up. I didn't get a reply all day. The next day, me and a few friends were going out for a drink. So I decided to give him a call. Once again, nothing! Did I misread something here? I thought he liked me, but now I'm not so sure, and I don't want to ruin what has been a really great friendship up until this point. The only thing I can think of is that we're both just coming off of pretty bad break ups and he's not ready to move on yet. Any insight?
D-Lish Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Just let him come to you at this point. You have returned his call, and now the ball is in his court. DON'T reach out to him again...no matter how much you want to. It sucks not knowing what is going on in someone's head. It's quite possible that there is some trepidation involved because he just had a break up.... if that is the case, it really will work in your favour to let him come to you.
whichwayisup Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 He may feel he came on too strong and is doing some thinking...Backing off abit. See how things go in the few days and if you don't hear from him, then maybe after the holidays you should talk to him. I mean, you two are friends anyway, so there should be a common respect level there, even if things have changed.
Author audrey88 Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 Thanks, D-Lish. He actually did call me today. We had a decent conversation, although it still felt a little awkward. He said he would call me in a couple of days, and claimed to not remember phoning me early in the morning. Which makes me feel like he thinks I've been obsessing over him because I called him twice. I hope he does call before he leaves for home for the holidays, but I'm letting him come to me this time. I am not calling him, he has to call me. I don't want to pressure him into anything, and I don't want to lose someone who has been such a good friend to me in the past.
D-Lish Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 lol.... he doesn't remember calling you??? yeah right...haha. Yeah, let him come to you. He is probably feeling somewhat vulnerable at the moment- so by you playing it cool....the pressure is totally off. He'll call. ;-)
Author audrey88 Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 if you don't hear from him, then maybe after the holidays you should talk to him. This is my game plan. If I don't hear from him again, I'm going to wait to talk to him until after the holidays. That way, I can pretend like nothing happened and we are still just friends, which I hope that we always will be. It just sucks not knowing what is going on inside his head.
D-Lish Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 it totally sucks to not know what is going on inside someone's head. He called today though- that's good. Let him keep taking the initiative!
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