curiousnycgirl Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Trying to make a long story short - my friend was diagnosed with Leukemia in February. In March I took in his dog, so that he wouln't have to find her a new home while he was recovering. He went through chemo that nearly killed him, regained his strength, and had a bone marrow transplant. Been getting weaker and weaker since then (September) - Thursday they did a biopsy and found the cancer had returned - that's it end of treatment, end of the show. Since Friday I have picked up oodles of relatives and driven them from New York/New Jersey to his hospital in Philadelphia - 5 round trips. Each time I spoke with his mother she kept telling me how he just doesn't want to see many people, etc. To tell the truth I was fine with this. I really wanted to keep my memory of him as I last saw him, when he had regained his strength just before the transplant. Now he has asked to see me before he dies. Of course I am going to go - but I'm really freaked out. Figured maybe posting here, and probably getting my head bashed in for being such a bad person, would make me feel better.
Lyssa Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I'm sorry to hear about your friend. You're not a bad person - if anything, you're a sweet girl for taking the time to pick up and send his relatives to visit him and being there for him through all this.
quankanne Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 you're not being bad for having these very human feelings – at least you're honest with yourself to admit that you're having them, you know? My guess is that once you get over the anxiety of having to see him at his most vulnerable, you're going to feel that it's gonna be okay seeing him and that it's something you'll never regret. Sounds like you're a damned good friend to take care of all those things (carting people around, helping with his beloved pet) when he needs them most.
jerbear Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 In my opinion, I would go, because he is your friend. Friends to the end. This was something I've picked up from a famous NYC Mayor's book and live by: "Weddings are optional, funerals are a must." Go no matter, what.
Author curiousnycgirl Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 No question I am going to go. I just wish I weren't dreading it so much. I've heard he looks really, really bad. Very swollen, skin is flaky and he looks like he is about to die, which he is. His dog has a loving/caring home for the rest of her life. Even if I hadn't gotten so attached to her, and she to me, I would do it to honor my friend. Unless of course his mother wants the dog - in which case I will cry buckets, but of course comply. UGH this is all so hard. I so wish things were different.
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